“Lacey Halloran,” he corrected sharply. “I never meant for you to leave.”
Lacey moved to his side, hunkered down and placed her hand over his. She caressed his knuckles, wishing she weren’t responsible for the fact that he’d clenched his hands into tight, angry fists.
“I know leaving wasn’t your idea. But I have a lot of thinking to do.”
“And you can’t do it here?”
“No,” she said sadly. “When I’m with you, it’s all I want and that’s wrong. You’ve said so yourself.”
Kevin sighed deeply, then looked resigned. “When will you go?”
“If it’s okay with you, I’ll wait until morning.”
“Sure.”
“Will you go back into town with me or do you want to stay out here?”
“I think I’ll wait here. If I go back, I won’t do the thinking I need to do, either. I’ll end up going back to the office.”
She nodded and stood up. “I’ll go pack.”
She was almost out the door when he said, “Lacey?”
“Yes?” she said without turning around.
“The one thing I know without question is that I do love you. I’ll be here waiting for you when you’re ready to talk again.”
She felt the salty sting of tears. Her lower lip trembled. “I love you, too,” she said in a voice that quavered slightly.
She couldn’t quite bring herself to promise that she would be back. She had no idea where the coming days of self-discovery were likely to lead her.
Chapter Fifteen
Naturally the most depressing day of Kevin’s life had dawned sunny and mild. The beauty of the sunrise, the gentleness of the morning breeze seemed to mock him. A day like this should have been gray and gloomy, with the threat of a blizzard maybe. Barring that, a good, steady rain would have done.
Instead, he had to contend with clear skies and a temperature that beckoned. He’d tried his best to make it work to his advantage, but the time was fast approaching when Lacey would be pulling out of the driveway and heading back to Boston.
Saying goodbye to his wife—and quite possibly to his marriage—was one of the most difficult things Kevin ever had to do. It would be a thousand times harder this time than it had been months ago when Lacey had first made the decision to move to a place of her own. Or maybe he’d just forgotten the pain of that goodbye.
Already he had delayed her departure by several hours. He had talked her into one last walk on the beach in the glorious morning sunlight. Then he had convinced her that she had to eat before facing such a long drive. He’d insisted on a picnic on the beach. Then he’d asked her to pick up a few last-minute things in town so he wouldn’t have to call on the neighbors. She had seized each excuse far more readily than a woman who was anxious to go.
Finally, though, he had run out of excuses. The only one left to him was a plea for her to reconsider leaving at all, and that one he had promised himself not to use. Though yesterday he had fought her going, he knew that she was right. They needed time apart to sort through everything, to figure out exactly who they were.
“You’ll call when you get to town?” he asked as he carefully closed the car door.
“I’ll call.”
She glanced up at him, her blue eyes shimmering with unshed tears. She blinked hurriedly, then looked away. He could barely hear her when she asked, “You’ll be careful? You’ll take care of yourself?”
“Of course,” he promised. “You don’t think I’m going to undo all the good you’ve done with those nourishing soups, do you?”
“Are you sure you don’t want me to take you to rent a car?”
“No. You’ll be back before I need one,” he said, though there was a forced sound to his optimism. He touched a finger to her chin and tilted her head up until he could gaze directly into her eyes. “I’ll miss you.”
“Me, too.” She hesitated, then reached for the key and started the engine. “I should get started.”
“Right. Drive carefully.” He stepped back from the car.
“I always do.”
He couldn’t think of one more thing to say to make her linger. He reminded himself again that her decision to leave was the right one, the only one.
So why did he feel a lump the size of Texas lodged in his throat as he watched her go? Why did he feel this aching sense of abandonment, of loneliness and loss, when the car wasn’t even out of sight?
* * *
Lacey prayed that she would be able to go back to Boston without anyone knowing. She didn’t want Jason and Dana hovering. She certainly didn’t want Brandon charging in to save the day. Why hadn’t she extracted a promise from Kevin not to tell them? Hopefully he would have his own reasons for keeping quiet.
She turned the car radio on full blast, to an oldies station, hoping to drown out her thoughts. Instead, every song dragged her back down memory lane. She cried all the way home—big, sloppy tears that left her blouse soaking wet and her eyes red.
It was dark when she finally got back into town. She had never felt lonelier than she did when she turned the key in the lock of the apartment she had rented months earlier. She went through the living room, bedroom and kitchen switching on lights. She flipped on the stereo because the silence seemed oppressive. This time, at least, she was wise enough to avoid old favorites.
The apartment wasn’t so bad, though after the home she and Kevin had shared, it seemed little bigger than one of their walk-in closets. The furniture was slightly shabby, but comfortable. She reminded herself that
