She frowned. “Excuse me?”
“He has this thing about love. It has to be there forever or it’s not real. And we dated when we were younger, but broke up.” I huffed out a breath. “Truth is, being in love with him still scares the pants off me. He’s Kade. Well, you know what I mean. He’s amazing.”
“So?” demanded Carlotta. “You’re just as amazing.”
The others were crowding around, interested in our conversation. Even Beatrice was part of the circle, still stark naked and apparently perfectly comfortable that way.
“Why don’t you do something to show him you love him?” suggested Sylvie, crossing to the bar.
I blinked at her. “Like what?”
“Sex has always worked for me,” offered Carlotta with a grin.
Gloria wrinkled her nose. “How’s she going to manage that? Kade’s away filming his show in LA, isn’t he?” She followed Sylvie to the bar, holding up her empty glass. “You’re making another round?”
“Coming right up!” Sylvie picked up a bottle of Gin and splashed it into the cocktail mixer.
“Kade’s moved back to LA,” I agreed. “So even if we miraculously got back together, we’d hardly see each other.”
Emmy nudged me, her glass empty and her cheeks a little flushed. “I bet he’d come back to San Dante if you asked him. He seemed to be having a fine time in your kitchen.” She dropped me a wink.
Carlotta waved her mostly-empty glass at me. “Tell him how miserable you are without him. Even better, send him a photo of the mess in your living room. He’ll come running.” She turned toward the bar, where Iola was holding her glass out while Sylvie refilled it. “Our Lennox men can’t fight their protective instincts, right Iola?”
“That’s right!” Iola’s smile was wide and dreamy. Although the dreamy look could be because she was on her second Syl-tini. Boy, they were strong. I couldn’t believe I’d almost finished mine.
“I’ve done enough damage.” I let out a heavy sigh. “All he’s ever done is help me, and all I’ve given him in return is gossip, scandal, and national humiliation.”
“Stop.” Carlotta squeezed my arm. “You make him happy. It’s obvious to everyone else, so why can’t you see it?”
Sylvie strode over with her cocktail mixer and poured. When she was done, I sipped my full glass. My limbs already felt heavy and my stomach felt warm. I felt like spilling all my secrets. Not that I had many left.
“Everyone ready to start again?” Gloria put a giant cushion on top of the platform. “Sit down now please, Beatrice. We’ll try a longer pose.”
“Coming right up!” Beatrice was holding a fresh cocktail. She lowered herself onto the cushion slowly, and I looked away while she arranged herself into a comfortable position.
Iola’s easel was next to mine. When I caught her eye, she said, “Why don’t you go to LA to talk to Kade? It’s not that far away.”
“He has his TV show to focus on. And I want to go back to Chicago to resurrect my career. If I can drag its old corpse out of the grave and brush the dirt off.” I sipped my refilled Syl-tini. I had a feeling this one might be even stronger than the last one, but it was hard to tell for sure when my tongue was going numb. Was I still making sense?
“How about this position?” Beatrice was spread out on the cushion, and if I’d had any hint of uncertainty about how comfortable she was with nudity, her pose would have dispelled my doubts.
“Perfect!” Gloria was already drawing. “Try not move.”
“Falling for Kade was a terrrrible idea,” I said. Then I frowned, pretty sure I’d accidentally put a few extra ‘r’s into the word ‘terrible’.
“Why would you say that?”
I blinked at Iola’s curious expression. “Because falling in love is always a terrible idea,” I said carefully, being extra cautious with the number of letters I was pronouncing. “Look at Mom. She had to give up her art career for Dad’s café.”
“Only she didn’t.” Beatrice sat up from her reclined position, ignoring Gloria’s exclamation of dismay.
I stared wordlessly at her. “No,” I said finally. “I guess maybe she didn’t. But I gave up my job at the Tribune to look after Dad.”
Beatrice shrugged, lying back down. “That’s what family do for each other.”
“You think you can get another job at the Tribune?” asked Carlotta.
I was so distracted by my own thoughts, it took me a moment to process her question. It was hard to accept I’d been so wrong about Mom, but I was starting to believe it.
Why couldn’t she have had both love, and the career she’d wanted? Why had she made me promise not to make her mistakes?
Unless… maybe I’d focused on the wrong part about what she was telling me. Maybe her worry wasn’t about me giving up my dreams for Kade. Perhaps she thought I’d be too afraid to go after them at all.
“I don’t know,” I said finally. “I hope so. But first I have to decide what to do about the café.”
Emmy turned to me, her charcoal in her hand. “You could still take Butch and Gigi’s offer. I know it’s low, but they’ve put it in writing. All you need to do is sign it.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
Natalie
“It’s nice to see you again, Natalie.” My old boss at the Chicago Tribune leaned back in his chair and steepled his fingers. “But you know I gave the job to someone else?”
“Of course, and I’m grateful you’re even seeing me. I wanted to come in person so you know how serious I am about working here again. If another job comes available, will you please consider me?”
His brow furrowed, and I held my breath, sitting up ramrod straight in my chair.
“So you’re ready to be a journalist again?” he asked. “Unfortunately, job opportunities don’t come up very often.”
“I know. I’m sorry I couldn’t take the last job. But I really am selling the café now, so I’m free to come
