Her brother crossed his arms, a pronounced frown between his brows. "And why can it not happen? He's a kind and honorable gentleman. More so than Armstrong ever was or even myself. He's titled and not a gambler or a violent man, a good match for you, whom I love. You ought not to be so quick to dismiss his affections."
Victoria took a calming breath, knowing all of this already and having been warring with herself the whole morning. She thought of her sisters, their happy marriages. Wondering if she'd done the right thing. If she were acting foolish.
"Will you be returning home with us, Josh?" she queried, ignoring his continued defense of his friend. How could she not try to change the subject? She had no defense against her brother's words, for everything he said was true.
Albert was wonderful and she was running away.
"I have ordered the carriage to be returned to the stable. We shall leave tomorrow and not run off like highwaymen in the night." Her brother sighed, coming over to her desk, staring down at her with something akin to pity. "Armstrong did you wrong, sister, but that does not make every gentleman after him ineligible or incapable of standing at the end of an aisle to marry you and mean every word that they say. To honor and love. You are Lady Victoria Worthingham, a duke's daughter and sister to one. Do not let that bastard late husband of yours ruin your future as well as your past. You do not deserve to live alone and without love.” He reached out and chucked her under the chin. “Let Melvin love you. I know he will not disappoint you.”
Victoria's eyes burned at her brother's words, and she blinked to clear her vision. Swallowing the lump that formed in her throat. "Even if what you say is true, Albert wants children. That is no longer a desire within me. I want to travel. He has an estate in Hampshire that needs to be overseen. We are not compatible even if I wished it so.”
"You want this solitary life so strongly, Victoria? Truly, because I fear if we leave tomorrow, Lord Melvin, after all your tutoring of him in the ways of courting a lady, will marry by the end of next season. He is an honorable catch. Are you willing to stand by when you return from your travels to see him settled and happy?"
The idea of seeing Albert so made her catch her breath, but this was for the best.
"I am willing to let him go and marry another," she heard herself say. And while her mind calmed, her heart was another matter entirely. It twisted to a painful degree, and she cringed, wondering if it would ever untangle itself to beat normally again.
Something told her it never would.
Albert returned to Rosedale late that evening, having decided to miss dinner and continue writing. So he was surprised when he walked into the foyer and found his butler waiting for him.
"My lord, the duchess and Lady Victoria are to depart in the morning. Her Grace wanted you informed the moment you returned."
"Of course. Thank you," he said. He had thought they would have gone today after Victoria returned to the house, and guilt pricked that he had not returned as host to dine with his guests.
He supposed he would have to apologize to them when they broke their fast in the morning.
The house was quiet, and he requested his dinner in the library. The fire burned brightly upon entering the room, and he was relieved to see Penworth had not waited up to speak to him. No doubt he would want to know why his clandestine courting of his sister had not worked.
He flopped down on a chair, kicking off his boots and warming them before the fire. The night was chillier than normal, and his stomach rumbled when the butler entered with his tray of roast lamb, vegetables, and his cook's delicious gravy.
He dismissed his staff, sending them to bed at this late hour, and ate his meal. Going over to the decanter of whiskey and pouring himself a hefty glass, he drank it down, deciding instead of pouring another, he'd just take the bottle over to where he was settled and drink as much as he liked.
The alcohol would numb the pain coursing through his heart. He had hoped and thought that with what had happened between himself and Victoria that she would come to feel something for him. More than benign friendship. That her emotions were not so injured from her previous marriage that she may come to feel something for him.
Were women able to hide their sentiments so very well? He had been schooled that they could not, that they were emotional creatures, likely to fly into a fit of rage or an abundance of tears.
But he no longer thought that way. Victoria was the opposite of such women.
He finished his meal and the sweet vanilla biscuits that were left on a side plate before pouring himself another glass of the amber, dulling liquid.
He lay back on the settee, watching the flames in the grate, sipping his drink. Well, at least he had tried, which was more than he used to do. Victoria had given him that gift at least. He could take what she had taught him, his newfound confidence that he would work on making stronger in the coming months before the London Season next year. He would return to London and try to find a woman who sparked his desire and challenged his mind. A rare gem and one who would not be Lady Victoria Worthingham. For no doubt, she would not even be there.
She would be living her dream life on the continent, seeing and
