“The old governess is gone,” I said. “She won’t be coming back.”
“Okay,” he said.
“What made her leave?” I said. She’d been threatening to leave since she first got there.
Cleb swung his legs back and forth.
“I said I didn’t believe in God,” he said.
I was surprised by this as I’d seen him pray most nights before bed.
“Don’t you?” I said.
He shrugged.
“I haven’t made up my mind yet,” he said.
“Then why did you say you didn’t believe in Him?”
“Because she kept saying she did and that he was real and all around us. And I kept asking her questions, like if he watched us when we were in the bathroom. Or when we take a shower.”
“I don’t see how that would make her react the way she did,” I said.
“It didn’t. It was when I asked if he sees her when she drinks from that little bottle she has tucked in her secret pocket. Then she went crazy.”
“Drinks from a bottle?” I said. “What bottle?”
“The one that smells bad.”
“Smells bad how?” I said. “Maybe it’s medicine.”
“It smelled like those bottles,” he said, pointing at the liquor cabinet.
I just stared at him. Governess Puem-Gleb was the most devout person I’d ever met. To think she was a secret drinker… Maybe it really was medicine, I thought. She was getting on in years and probably needed a little pick me up now and then.
But how many medicines smelled like single-malt liquor?
I shook my head and focused on what I’d brought Cleb there to discuss.
“I need you to start behaving yourself,” I said. “I’m going to hire another governess and I need you to do what she says.”
“Okay,” he said, but it had the strong ring of noncommittal to it.
“I really mean it this time,” I said, feeling like I was talking to an empty audience.
“I know,” he said, his legs still swinging back and forth. It was beginning to make me dizzy.
“Is there… anything you want to talk with me about?” I said.
“No.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
This was the way it always went when we tried to sit down and have a conversation. Me asking questions and him nodding his head politely and giving me one-word answers unless more was necessary.
And then, just as predictably, came the awkward silence that always descended. The topic we never discussed. His dead parents. The gap yawned so wide it could be seen on the surface of the moon without a telescope.
I didn’t know what the words ought to be, only that it had something to do with him, his parents, and my role in his life.
I could never find the right words to console him. I didn’t even have them for myself. I preferred to bury myself in work to block out such thoughts.
Cleb knew I was there for him, but I’d never admitted as much. Maybe he needed to hear them but I couldn’t shake the feeling I wasn’t the one that should be saying it.
And why say what we both knew already?
I got to my feet and clapped my hands.
“Well, I should probably get back to work,” I said.
Cleb watched as I left the room and hurried—escaped, really—to my study. I passed Waev on the way.
“Find a governess as quickly as you can,” I said. “I want to interview them and have them in place as soon as possible.”
“I sent messages to those that contacted us before,” Waev said. “I arranged interviews. In the meantime, I got a message this morning from an applicant. She’s waiting in your office.”
I was still distracted by the non-discussion I’d just had with Cleb.
“Fine,” I said. “Fine. I’ll see her now. Can you bring me a coffee? I’ve got a feeling it’s going to be a very long day.”
I entered my study and let the door shut behind me.
“Sorry for keeping you waiting,” I said, walking around the big wing-backed chair and extending my hand. “I was a little distracted with something else—”
The chair was empty. I peered around at the room but couldn’t make out the governess anywhere. Had Waev made an uncharacteristic mistake? His schedules were so well orchestrated they made generals weep.
Then I noticed the S’mauggai bag on the floor beside the chair. Someone had been here. Then where was she now?
She must be using my ensuite restroom.
But the door was open. Surely, she would have shut it while she was in there?
I approached it from an angle so I couldn’t see inside. I didn’t want to be accused of being a peeping Tom.
“Hello?” I said. “Is anyone in there? Hello?”
There was no response.
I eased the door open and peered inside. It was empty. The towel hung from its bar as I’d left it that morning when I heard the governess scream and march toward the door. I knew then it was just going to be one of those days. No one had been inside or used it since.
I heard my office door open and someone entered. She showed me her back as she shut the door behind herself and hastened toward the wing-backed chair. She peered around at the room and seemed relieved to find no one there.
I opened my mouth to say, “I’ll be right out,” when she suddenly got to her feet and rearranged herself. She ran her hands over her body, working out any creases. She reached into her dress and rearranged her bra.
I looked away, embarrassed I might get caught staring.
And then I looked back.
I’d never been a peeping Tom before but with her…
I don’t know. There was something about her that drew the eye.
She was younger than the other governesses.
And much prettier.
Then she stood up and extended her hand. For a moment I thought she was pointing at me. When she smiled and shook an imaginary hand, I knew I was dealing with a madwoman. Then she spoke in a soft voice in
