I scooted closer to him. “How long has it been?”
“So many rotations I’ve lost count.” He raked a hand through his long hair. “My body survives because it does restore itself enough, even though I never feel like it does. Another cruel twist of the curse.”
I thought back to our visit to the mystical planet. “And the witch couldn’t remove the curse?”
He moved his head back and forth slowly. “Only the witch or warlock who casts it may remove it completely, and the Porvakian warlock who cursed me is long dead.”
“The curse didn’t die with him?”
“Not this one. It was cast with his dying breath. Ferria was able to unravel its cure, but only in parts.”
I swallowed hard as I remembered that I was the cure. “That’s why you had to bring me to see her?”
He grunted, not meeting my gaze. “Once she determined you fit the requirements, she could unravel the rest of the cure. But not without something from you. The magic was shrouded too carefully for any other way to work.”
“How did the warlock who cursed you come up with such a strange way to break the curse?”
The Raas let out a low, mirthless laugh. “He knew the Vandar well. I have no doubt he believed that the chances of a violent Raas who lived far away from the civilized galaxy finding a fair, pure female and making her his one true mate were very slim. It was his way of ensuring I was never free of his torture.”
The story was so far-fetched that I might have thought he was making it all up if I hadn’t seen how physically he’d reacted to his nightmare and how seriously the shapeshifting witch had taken her spellcraft.
“Why didn’t you tell me all this earlier?”
He finally met my eyes. “Would you have believed me?”
The Raas had a point. Even though I did believe that he was tormented by horrible nightmares that were more real than anything I’d experienced, that didn’t mean I could force myself to fall in love with him. I still didn’t understand about the Vandar mating marks he mentioned, or how they picked their one true mate, but just like he’d said before, I was not Vandar mate material.
All I wanted was to go home and forget about the Raas and his terrifying dreams, and the dark warbird that raided and pillaged everywhere it went. The life of a Vandar wasn’t for me, and I definitely wasn’t for him.
“I’m sorry,” I said softly. I wasn’t telling him I was sorry about his nightmarish curse. I was telling him that I was sorry I couldn’t help him. Not if it meant sacrificing myself and my future. After spending all of my life taking care of my father and even my older sister, I couldn’t give up the only thing I had left—myself—to someone I barely knew.
The Raas stood and walked across to the inset cabinets, pulling out a fresh kilt and stepping into it while the fabric slipped to the floor. Then he strode to the stand near the door, stepping into his boots and hooking his axe on his belt. When the door swished open, he hesitated on the threshold, facing away from me. “It is I who am sorry. You deserve better than me, Juliette, and better than being pulled into this cruel game.”
Then he left without looking back at me.
Chapter Seventeen
Vassim
“Again!”
My majak stood across the battle ring from me with his hands braced on his knees. We were both breathing heavily, but he had the advantage of a night’s sleep, which I did not. My side twinged as I sucked in a breath, and I swiped at the sweat dripping into my eyes.
“Are you sure, Raas?”
I shook out my arms, even though they felt like lead. “Again!”
Taan sighed and rushed at me once more, leaping up and grasping the chain link of the cage enclosing the circular practice ring. I spun and jumped back but he was already flying through the air toward me. Diving forward, I barely escaped being tackled, and I somersaulted across the ring and popped up on the other side, spinning quickly.
There was one thing I could always count on from my majak—he would not go easy on me. If I called him to join me in the battle ring, he knew I needed him to fight me like he would any opponent. I couldn’t bear to be treated differently by the one warrior who knew me better than any.
I grinned at him after he’d dive-rolled across the floor and leapt up again. “You always were an excellent jumper.”
“If only we did battle on terrain that consisted of metal caging.” He bent low and swayed from side to side, returning my grin.
I straightened and blew out a long breath. “Enough. Let’s drink.”
Taan unhooked a metal canister from the caging and tossed it to me. “Will this do, or did you have something harder in mind?”
I took a swig of the cool water and shook my head. “The last thing I need is something else to muddle my head.”
My first officer drank from his own canister, holding it high and letting the stream of water arc into his mouth. “Another dream?”
I choked back a laugh. “If only they were dreams, my friend.”
He frowned, his frustration evident. If I was his majak, I would have felt the same way—helpless to aid my Raas. I knew the sensation all too well.
He opened the door to the cage and stepped back for me to precede him from the ring. “At least you have a chance to end it. You found the female when you didn’t believe it possible, and you’d given up all hope.”
I growled as I thought back to Juliette’s face as she’d told me she was sorry. She’d felt something for me, but it hadn’t been what I wanted her to
