“I never should have told her,” I murmured under my breath, stomping down the short flight of stairs and tossing the empty canister as far as I could, the metal clanging against the hard floor as it landed.
“What did you tell her, Raas?”
I faced the ring and curled my fingers around the metal caging, welcoming the bite of the steel into my flesh as I squeezed. “She witnessed me reliving the battle in my sleep. When she tried to wake me, I grabbed her.”
“Is she hurt?”
I swung my head to him, glowering. “Of course not.” I looked away. “But in my tortured state, I believed her to be our Raas. I was holding her when I finally awoke. She looked petrified.”
Taan didn’t speak.
“I had to explain what had happened.”
“You told her everything?”
I nodded, staring forward into the empty ring. “She deserved to know.”
“This is good, Raas. Now she understands why she’s so important and why she must stay.”
I sagged, letting my body hang from my fingers. “That is not how the curse works. I cannot force her. She must take my mating marks of her own free will.”
“But if she knows what is at stake,” he said, his voice hopeful. “If she has seen what the curse does to you, surely—“
“She can sacrifice herself for my comfort?” I asked, cutting him off as I narrowed my gaze at him. “Because that is what I am asking of her, a sacrifice of everything she has ever known to save a stranger.”
Taan square his shoulders as if facing off against me in battle. “You are not a stranger. You are a Raas of the Vandar. You rule over hundreds of raiders and are responsible for the destruction of many imperial ships and the salvation of enslaved planets. Maybe it is a sacrifice, but it is a worthy one.”
“That isn’t for us to decide.”
My majak did not back down. “I will talk to her. She might only be a human, but surely she can understand the gravity of your situation.”
“No,” I snapped, standing tall again. “I forbid it.”
I’d already revealed my weakness to Juliette and seen the pity in her eyes. I would not have my majak beg for me. She might feel sympathy for me, but so far, the only other emotion she had shown for me except fear was a flicker of primal arousal that my naked body had provoked. That alone would not create a bond strong enough to form mating marks. As Taan had said before, if fucking produced mating marks, the galaxy would be littered with pleasurers marked by Vandar raiders. Not to mention that Taan alone would have marked half the galaxy’s females who were not pleasurers.
“Fine.” Taan grunted his assent. “I will not go against your wishes, but did you take any of my advice regarding the female?”
“Yes and no.”
Taan groaned. “What does that mean?”
“I presented her with a gift like you suggested.”
His eyes lit up. “A sweet that you could feed her?”
“No, a Gerwyn from the raiding mission.”
My majak stared at me, his expression like stone. “Do you mean the furry creatures with spiky tails? You gave one of those as a gift to woo your potential mate?”
“I thought she would like something to keep her company. The creatures only use their tails when they’re agitated.”
“Well, that’s a relief. I can’t imagine any reason for getting agitated on a Vandar warbird.”
I ignored his comment. “Juliette seemed pleased with the gift.”
“But you weren’t able to use it to seduce her like you would have if you’d offered her sugared lomi berries. They are so juicy that it’s impossible to feed them to a female without some dripping on her, which you could have licked off.”
I cocked my head at Taan. “How much lomi berry juice have you licked off females?”
Now he ignored my comment. “I appreciate that you are not used to seducing females, but you do not have time to waste, Raas. The moons are getting closer to alignment all the time.”
“You think I don’t know that?” I tempered my voice and put a hand on my majak’s back. “I give you my word I will try your lomi berry idea next time.”
Even though Taan smiled as we walked away from the battle ring, resignation washed over me. I wasn’t worthy to be cured of my torment, no matter what Juliette felt for me. I’d failed my Raas, and all the lomi berries in the world couldn’t change that fact.
I just wished I didn’t feel an ache in my chest and fluttering in my stomach every time I looked at her. I feared that my madness would consume me when I finally had to let her go.
Chapter Eighteen
Juliette
“You changed,” The Neebix boy, Baru, grinned as he appraised the knee-length dress I’d dug out of a bottom drawer. It was made of a much sheerer fabric than I’d ever worn before, but I could get used to the feel of the soft fabric on my skin. Not that I would admit that out loud.
“Oh, right.” I glanced quickly at the blue dress. “That isn’t what I wanted to talk to you about.”
“Well, it looks good on you. You could almost pass for a pleasurer.” He tilted his head at me. “If you did your hair up.”
“A pleasurer?” I touched a hand to the shimmery fabric. “That’s where these clothes came from?”
He nodded as if this was the most normal thing in the world. “Back when pleasure ships would dock with ours. The old Raas had a favorite Doloran pleasurer who kept clothes here. Raas Vassim never bothered to clear them out when he took over as Raas.”
So, I was dressed like a space whore. Just great. I shook my head, dismissing my worries. No one from my home world could see me, and the dress was by far the prettiest thing I’d ever worn. I decided
