“Mom wondered if we wanted to attend a fundraiser for Richards,” she said after a few minutes passed. “We’d have to get dressed up.”
“Would you like to go?”
“I wanted to go to prom with you.” Her eyes twinkled at me. “This would be sort of like that.”
“I’d have loved to take you to prom.” My chest ached as I looked into her eyes. “So much was taken from us, wasn’t it?”
She glanced away and rested her hand on my knee. “Too much.”
“Did you go to prom?”
“No. I didn’t want to go. Not without you. Not without Beth. She and I had been super excited about junior and senior year because we’d both be able to go to prom. We had this whole plan about double dating with you and Luke. I swear, we talked about it a hundred times. She had all the details figured out. Where we would eat beforehand and what color dresses we would have. A soft pink for her and a baby blue for me. And we’d ask you guys to wear ties that matched. I don’t know why we thought you two would just do whatever we wanted.”
“We would have. I would’ve rocked a baby-blue tie.”
I expected her to laugh, but instead she played with the can’s pop top as she gazed out over the water. “I should’ve known something was wrong between her and Luke. But it never occurred to me. Maybe because I was so wrapped up in you. Sometime in the spring, Beth stopped talking about anything in the future. In the spring right before prom—the one you and I weren’t old enough for—I brought up how fun next year would be, and she snapped. She said something about who knew where we’d be in a year.”
“God, Carlie, that’s so incredibly sad.”
“For all of us.”
We were quiet for a few minutes. A fish did a silver somersault out of the water. Ripples on the water were the only proof he’d been there.
“We’re not that old,” Carlie said, out of the blue.
“For what?”
“Getting the most out of the rest of our lives. Together, I mean. We can do all the stuff we missed. There’s no one stopping us now. No one can ruin this for us. Right?”
I lifted the brim of her hat to get a better view of her eyes but also as an excuse to draw nearer. “No one will ruin this for us. Why are you asking me that?”
“I don’t know. I started thinking this afternoon that maybe you’ll grow tired of this whole thing. I’m obsessed with finding my sister’s killer. I can’t think that’s sexy.”
I brushed her shoulder with my thumb. “Everything about you is sexy. Caring about your family happens to be at the top of a long list of things I love about you.” I picked up her hand and placed it on my bare chest. “Do you feel that? My heartbeat?”
“Yes.”
“It beats for you. It’s always beaten for you, even when I didn’t know where you were. We spent too long without each other. Nothing and no one will take you away from me a second time. All right?”
She nodded as a tear slipped from one eye. “I’m sorry I cry so much.”
“You don’t ever have to be sorry. I want the real you. Whatever you’re feeling—share it with me. I’ll do my best to listen and not try to fix it.” I smiled. “My ex-wife said I did that too much.”
“You being here is enough.” She touched my face with her hand. The look of love in her eyes was enough to heal any ailment. All the years of pain and loneliness seemed far away. “I want to spend as much time together as possible, doing all that we missed out on.”
“Agreed. And we’ll start with going to this fancy shindig for Richards. When is it?”
“Tomorrow night. I’ll have to find a dress in town. I don’t have anything to wear. Do you have a suit?”
“I have several suits, so not to worry. I clean up real good. And I happen to have ties in a variety of colors, so don’t feel like you have to pick a baby-blue one.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.” She laughed. “I don’t know where Beth came up with baby blue in the first place.”
“I know why. She wanted the dress to match your eyes.”
She looked down at her lap. “She did say that once. I’d forgotten.” Her face tilted upward, but she didn’t meet my eyes, looking out across the water instead. “I wish we could go back to the summer before she died. The one where she and Luke were smitten and you and I were having water fights and eating peanut butter sandwiches. Just one more day where all of us were still innocent. When Beth still believed in puppy love. When I still believed that no one I loved would ever leave me. When I was convinced that most people were good.” Her voice broke. “Whoever he was, he took that from all of us the day he convinced Beth to get involved.”
“I know. I know he did. We can’t bring Beth back or the innocent children we were. But Beth wouldn’t want what happened to her to change your big heart or the belief that most people are good.”
“I can feel it, Cole. We’re so close to figuring out who he is. He’s out there, and we’re going to find him. Ford’s a good cop. Moonstone’s the real thing, which is so weird but true. Once we do, I think I can finally let this go. I can start truly living.”
“When are you going to tell your mom about what you’ve found?”
She sighed. “Tomorrow morning. I can’t wait any longer. She’ll want to know, even if it brings the whole thing up for her.”
“All right.
