“Me too. Your father and I adored you girls. We adored each other. I used to worry about getting sick and dying and leaving you girls without a mother. If only I’d been able to be the one and not Beth.”
The lump in the back of my throat prevented me from answering.
As if she heard my question, she answered, “We carried on. For you. But we were never the same.”
“I know, Mom.”
“I’m sorry for all the times you probably wished it could be only about your life instead of Beth’s death.”
“Mom, I knew how much you loved me because you kept going. That was enough. You’ve been the most wonderful mother to me. I don’t want you to worry about that ever again.”
“What about you and Cole?”
I smiled. “Cole’s my prize at the end of an arduous journey. I plan on basking in every moment.”
“You’re moving here, really?”
“Really.”
“Oh, Carlie, that makes me so happy.”
“Cole wants big holiday dinners with all of us. Doesn’t that sound fun?”
“As long as I don’t have to cook, I’m in.”
We laughed and then hugged, holding on to each other as if we’d been parted for many years.
On a warm August morning, I knelt beside our family plot where my father and Beth rested. I placed roses I’d cut from Mom’s garden into the vases that hung from the headstones.
These were the last of the roses. Cole and his team had already gutted the home we’d occupied for decades and were about to overhaul the landscaping as well. Soon, the house would be newly renovated and he would sell it to a young family who would make happy memories.
As for Mom and me, we were moving on to the next season of our lives. Mom had already moved in with Joseph. On a whim, they’d flown to Vegas and gotten married just last week. She’d already happily adjusted to living with her new husband in their home near the golf course.
“Hey, Beth, it’s me.” I brushed dust from the stone and traced my finger over the engraving of her name. Elizabeth Mary Webster. Beloved daughter and sister.
“I’m sorry I haven’t come around much. I guess I was waiting until I had good news. I finally have some. We know now what happened. The monsters who did this to you are going to jail for the rest of their lives.” I paused as tears welled in my eyes. “I can’t stop thinking about how scared you must have been at the end, knowing you would have to leave this world. It hurts so much to think of you that way. I hope you thought of us. Of how much we loved you. I hope that was your last thought on this earth.”
I sat and drew my knees to my chest and let the tears flow. And then, a great weight lifted from my shoulders. I was light and free. “Beth, are you free now?” I whispered.
A soft breeze as warm as a caress ruffled my hair. That breeze was my Beth, setting me free. “You’ve been free all along, haven’t you? It was me and Mom. But we know now what happened and can move forward.” I smiled as I brushed the tears from under my eyes. “I miss you every day. But I hear you.” The time to live without the burdens of the past was now.
I twisted to look at my dad’s grave. “Daddy, I wish you were here to walk me down the right aisle this time.” I looked down at the diamond engagement ring sparkling under the sun. There wouldn’t be any aisle for this wedding. Cole and I were going down to the courthouse later today to get married, with Joseph and Mom as our witnesses.
“I know you’ll be there in spirit. Both of you. Now I have to go get married.”
I got to my feet and brushed grass from my jeans, then walked down the path toward the parking lot where Cole was waiting for me.
24
Carlie
On the twentieth of December, I yanked open the door to see my beautiful daughter standing on the porch. She wore a thick white jacket and knit hat in a baby blue that matched her eyes.
“Mom.” She held out her arms, and I brought her to me.
“Did you have any trouble on the road? I’ve been pacing.” Her small SUV was parked near the garage, muddy from the journey.
“Not at all. It was nice, actually. I listened to music and daydreamed.”
“I used to be a first-class dreamer.”
“Well, I must have gotten it from you then.” She wiped her boots on the mat before coming inside the house.
“Here, let me hang that for you,” I said as she shrugged out of her coat.
“Mom, the house looks great.”
“This was all Cole.” He’d gotten his wish. Christmas was happening and happening big. We’d spent days decorating the house with garland and twinkling lights. “He’s like a kid. I had to keep him from buying another box of lights.”
Brooke sniffed the air. “It smells like heaven in here. Did you make apple pie?”
“I just took it out of the oven.” Our tree was yet to be decorated but was in its stand in the great room. “We waited for you to do the tree.”
“You did?” Her face lit up, and for a moment I saw the child she’d once been. My chest ached for a second, remembering how magical she’d made the holidays. But she was here now, I reminded myself. A wonderful grown-up woman. I’d done my job.
“I look forward to doing it with you every year. I guess this one is different, though, isn’t it?”
“Yes. How do you feel about that?”
“I’m happy when you’re happy.”
“I’m happy,” I said.
“Plus, I love Cole.” When she’d
