To me, justice always overrides death. When Addilyn’s abductor or abductors are caught, I still wish them justice. I do not wish them death because that is the easy way out.
“I’m sorry.” Giulio stands abruptly and lets out a frustrated sigh when he reaches the floor-to-ceiling windows by the sage bench. “Fuck, what type of man am I? When I say things like that, how can I possibly be proud of myself? I’m just a sorry excuse of a role model.”
No, honey. You’re not.
I edge towards Giulio in time for him to slide his hands into his pockets with a locked jaw. There is something on his mind. I just feel it. Looking out onto Seattle, cars pass down below us. In the distance, trees dance with the wind and the city buildings create a mesmerizing display.
I don’t want him hurting and it destroys me that he’s feeling this way. When Giulio’s head lowers and I touch his back, I see his fear. I see a strong man break in front of me. The one that has attempted to hold it together all these months. For the first time since Addilyn’s disappearance, I’m a part of his vulnerability in the space we share.
My fingertips act on his tensed muscles, trailing against the soft fabric of his sweater. I step in front of him and when his glassy eyes move to me, I can’t see past the aversion.
“Everything that happened with Bryce and whatever resulted in those bruises is not your fault.”
“It is.”
I shake my head. “You are a good man, Giulio. You protect our family and you protect us well. Because that is what we are, family. If one of us falls, we all fall together and then we find the strength to rise again. We’ve all taken a tumble with Addilyn. We’re still on the ground, so let’s not cause more agony to ourselves before we get back up.”
A sad smile crosses him. “We haven’t called ourselves that in a while.”
“A family?”
“A family.”
Even with my heels, I have to rise on my tippy toes to reach his height. My lips meet his cheek and I kiss his soft skin. “We will always be a family.” I come down and our smiles extend into a sense of home. “That will never change.”
“Never.” Despite his battered skin, Giulio’s arms tighten around my smaller frame and he buries his head in my neck. “Does that mean that if I were to ask you to go out with me on Friday night, which I am, you would say yes?”
My heart beats like a drum.
Holy hell!
“Yes! Of course I will, Giulio.”
I cannot be any happier. His touch chains me to a feeling of warm comfort. It’s a place where nobody can break us. A part of me wonders how long we can stay like this, but I listen to my heart instead. I stay in the moment.
It takes a moment to realize the tears trailing down my neck are not mine but his. Giulio’s body shakes and his chest vibrates against mine. He’s holding onto me for dear life, as if he’s afraid of something that’s lurking inside him. I find myself clutching onto his sweater in need of giving this much to him.
My fingers weave through his hair and I whisper comforting words that eventually ease him. Giulio has always been here for me in my darkest moments. He’s been my shining white knight. Even when all we wanted to do was turn away, he has always been there. Here.
I want him to know that I will always be here for him too.
I will always be the mother of his three beautiful children.
I will always care for him.
“This feels like the calm before the storm.”
“They say no storm lasts forever.” I push down the knot in my throat. “But I fear it too.”
“Then if no storm lasts forever…the sun will soon come up again and kiss our skin. We’ll see the other side of this. Let’s not fear anything anymore.” Giulio pulls back and looks at me with a newfound faith. Hope. Our fused tears are a delicate rendition of us. “As long as I’m here, never be scared. I’ve got you all. I promise. I’ve got you, Lencia.”
I smile softly. “And I’ve got you too.”
I never want to let go of Giulio Giannotti.
Never.
Dear God, please don’t take him away from me.
Valencia
As much as I’ve been attempting to live in the present, some days it’s hard not to swivel into the past when your daughter’s life is in danger. But I’m learning. Learning to smile and enjoy my first night out in months. I agreed to go out with Kayla tonight because I’ve missed the old times when we used to hang out and simply live.
My parents are okay.
The twins are okay.
Giulio is okay.
After my moment of tenderness with Giulio this afternoon, I passed by Marcus in the lobby. I don’t know if he caught onto my hesitation but until I learn the full story, I can’t accept what he did leaving Giulio all battered and bruised.
Ever since therapy, the dynamic with Giulio has been smooth sailing. Whether it’s a saving grace or the calm before the storm, I’m beginning to appreciate and accept it either way.
Helena joins Kayla and me and brings along her kids. It’s somewhat of a family affair with me bringing the twins too. Oscar has questioned everything on the menu twice, while Slonne has submersed herself in watching Frozen with Daisy on my phone.
We have spent the last couple of hours at Zeluci, a chic Italian restaurant near work. It’s filled with chattering diners, clinking metals, and bolts of laughter. Exposed charcoal bricks cover each wall and dark décor piping adds to the industrial feel. Helena opted for a table at the front of the restaurant, where the aroma of the immaculate rustic food doesn’t reach us. She’s just gotten a fresh blowout after
