“We still are, darling. I don’t want to lose that. I don’t want to lose you forever.”
“Neither do I.”
“Then let’s not.”
My painted lips have not stopped pulsing since that kiss. It’s awoken an exhilarated sensation inside me.
Our conversation and banter throughout dinner soothes me. I love the time we share.
I’ve missed it.
Our longing stares cannot be mistaken for anything that they’re not. It runs so deep that after Giulio orders us Crème Brule—exactly like our first date—I bite my lip and we fall straight back into the questions of our past, powering them with ones of the current and future.
When he grips the neck of the wine bottle, I try to release our intertwined hands so that he isn’t holding the bottle awkwardly with his non-dominant hand, but Giulio only squeezes my hand tighter, a silent protest that he doesn’t want me to let go. He then pours us another glass with his left hand and sets the bottle down.
Giulio zones back into me, giving me his undivided attention and everything becomes clearer. “When we met, my father’s suicide was still fresh in my eyes. Drinking became a habit, never to the breaking point, but it was there. It was never for my father’s pain, but more my mother’s. It brought back a lot of my childhood grief. When I saw you, something inside me changed at the glowing aura you brought into my company the first day we met. For the first time that night, I didn’t drink.”
“I didn’t know that…”
Giulio nods and swirls his glass. “I know. I’m sorry. It’s not something I’ve ever been proud of admitting. Being with you from that point forth taught me it’s okay to be vulnerable, to be emotional, to cry. I could confide in you and you would listen and understand me. You loved me, even on my worst days. On the days I would come home stressed from work, one single glance at you made it all disappear. That’s healing. That’s love. I chose to devote my life to our love because apart from the good, I knew we would conquer the bad hand in hand…I just never expected our child to cause that bad.”
Neither did I.
A knot forms at the back of my throat. “I’m sorry, Giulio. I’m so sorry I let you down.”
“You haven’t. None of what’s happened is our fault. During these past months separated, I have attempted to find healing, but I haven’t been able to find it…you know why? Because you are my healing.”
“You’re my healing too. Now that our fate has reeled us in closer, we can change it all.”
“I look forward to it.” Giulio reaches across the table and kisses me hard. “I want to take away all the bad, I really do. Through it all, all I’ve ever wanted was to be with you. To be a family again. I don’t think I can ever stop those needs.”
“Then don’t.”
“I won’t.” A smirk appears as he leans back in his seat, eyes flickering to my dress for a second. “I’ve always loved red on you.”
I grin smugly. “See? From time to time I listen.”
“I never want to take you for granted ever again.”
I tell him my truth without hesitation. “Neither do I. We need to try. Despite us still not viewing the abduction in the same light, I want to be with you. I want us happy.”
“I want that all for us too, darling”
“It hurts less when I’m with you. The pain that is.”
“That is exactly why we both needed tonight. I need you, just as much as you need me.” He motions towards the dancefloor. “Now let’s be bold. Excuse me for a moment.”
Giulio approaches the jazz band and I glance over at chattering diners. Some with families, others obviously deeply in love with their stolen glances and wide smiles. Suddenly…I’m not thinking about the worst-case scenario in public. I’m breaking away from that and thinking about the good.
Frank Sinatra’s ‘It Had to Be You’ begins playing and Giulio returns, extending his hand to me. “May I have this dance, amore mio?”
The dancefloor clears and everybody in the restaurant quiets except for the band as they continue to play the soft melody of the song.
Our wedding song.
Our slow dance steps are natural, as if they are a part of our soul. With my head resting in the crook of his neck and his hands securely around me, we move in time with the smooth saxophone, piano, and vocals. I feel as though I’m floating in the solace of his arms, wrapped in a classic black and white Hollywood film with a spotlight over us as we sway our way into the night.
This is much different than our last dance. I feel even more connected with him, if that’s even possible. The romantic lyrics are a perfect rendition of who we once were and who we are now. I look up in adoration as Giulio’s hot gaze burns through me. His smile lines deepen and the thumps transform to a bittersweet ache.
I realize something I have been avoiding all evening until now—our differences. There must be a way to respect each one and live this beautiful life with him despite our split views.
The song draws back every single moment of our wedding night. I kiss him softly as diners clap and cheer for our magical moment. We’re partaking in one of the most romantic dances of our lives and my heart…it’s stolen at the mere sight of Giulio Giannotti.
I’ve given him my all during our last dance and this one right here. Every single moment crossing the dance floor outlines a stage in our lives together. The day we met. The day we brought our first house. The proposal. The wedding. The days I gave birth. The laughter. The
