“The next time you taunt a man, be sure you are ready for the outcome.” I don’t want there to be a next time, and the idea of any other man putting his hands on Evie has me pulling the covers off the bed so she can’t see my face.
She had poked me, and I had responded.
Tomorrow the doctor would examine her and see she wasn’t a virgin.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
EVIE
The air has lodged itself in my lungs. Lucca hasn’t moved, and I want nothing more than for him to leave. He’s speaking, his mouth is moving, I can read the words, but I can’t hear him over the roar of my blood that races through my veins..
He snaps his fingers angrily as he advances on me. He stops a foot away from me, and I can’t help when my shoulders curl forward as if they can protect me.
“You didn’t stop me, so don’t keep looking at me like that.” His words are low but fuelled with anger.
I’m numb.
I think I am until I have the thought, and my body burns with pain, humiliation, and confusion.
It wasn’t what I expected. He didn’t react as I had thought he would. I thought if I taunted him that he would take away my virginity, the one thing that has held me in this prison. I just didn’t think he would take it so viciously.
He snaps his fingers again in my face, and I take a step away from him. My back connects with the wall. Cold drips down my spine, and I feel like I’m waking up from a nightmare only to step into one in real life.
I keep my gaze pinned on the floor. I don’t want to look at him. I don’t want to think of what I just allowed to happen. I focus on his shoes as he moves away from me. The door slams, and the impact rattles my bones and allows me to fall apart.
I’m heaving for air, but I don’t move.
In my head, I’m trying to calm myself. This is what I wanted. I wanted out of this prison, and when they inspected me, I would be free from the chains I had allowed them to wrap me in since I was ten.
Igor would know it was the Handler, and I didn’t think Lucca was stupid enough to deny it. So now what was the end game? What would he do? Kill me?
My legs shake, and my mind spins with the fear that I’ve made a mistake. I could have been given to a man whom I could have grown to love.
As I close my eyes, the tears start to fall. I swallow as much as I can before I move. Everything in me hurts. Moisture between my legs has me walking to the bathroom. My hands tremble as I turn on the tap, I clench them into fists to try to stop the shaking, but they continue to tremble.
This is what I wanted. I remind myself as I wash my hands.
I strip off all my clothes before turning on the shower and stepping into the spray. I hate watching the pink liquid swirl down the drain that runs from between my legs.
“It’s done,” I say out loud, hoping to stop the ache in my stomach. Instead of relief, all I feel is more pain. Pain that I don’t want to feel.
Closing my eyes, I keep my head under the spray. I move my hands through the spray like I’m parting water in an ocean. The memory comes hard and fast as my father’s bracelet catches the light of the sun; the tan on his arms always darkens in the summer months. He’s a giant; he’s my dad.
He’s my dad, and his arms circle my waist as he lifts me out of the water. His voice is in my ear. “Got you, Evie.”
I’m laughing, and I hold on to the memory, trying to remember the smell of his skin that was covered in sun lotion. Or knowing my mother was sitting on the beach watching out for us. I can’t remember what she wore that day, only the large straw hat that she let me wear when I came ashore.
The smell of crisps and the taste of happiness dissolves as I open my eyes.
I finish washing and leave the shower, clinging onto my parents’ faces. That’s why I allowed Lucca to take me. That’s why I didn’t fight him. I have no other way out, but if it gives me one tiny chance to see their faces again, one tiny chance to be in my father’s arms, or one tiny chance to smell my mother’s Charlie perfume, then it’s worth it.
I dry myself, but I’m gentle and only pat between my legs. I get redressed with a new found strength, emboldened by the step I’ve taken to change my fate, for better or worse.
I don’t think of the worse as I lie on top of the covers waiting for him to return. The day fades to night, and I’m left with my sore body and a longing for home that I’ve never felt before.
I don’t get off the bed or move at all. I stay still and allow myself to go home in my head.
When the night has fully taken over, I sit up and listen. I listen for any type of noise, but the house is quiet.
The bedroom door is unlocked as I step into the darkened hall. A light at the end has me pausing. It’s just like his penthouse, and my mind screams at me that it’s a trap and I need to return to my
