I make it to the end of the hall, and the stairs are right in front of me. My hand rests on the banister; the varnished wood is soft under my palm as I stare down the stairs like I can see around the corner what awaits me.
“You should be asleep, Evie.”
My lids flutter closed, and a shiver ripples across my flesh. He’s behind me.
“I can’t sleep.” My voice sounds raw like I’ve been crying for hours. Inside, I’ve cried for everything I have lost. I have to force my fingers open in order to release the banister and turn.
He’s right there. All dressed in black, looking down at me with heavy eyes.
His hands are behind his back, and I wonder if he’s holding something. Has he decided to get rid of me? Fear has me reaching for the banister again to keep me upright.
I nod at him, but I can’t hold his eye. “I’ll go to sleep now.” It’s a whisper as I move away from the stairs and closer to him. My heart pounds as I’m ready to pass him. A hand burns into my flesh as he grips my arm, stopping me from leaving.
He isn’t speaking but staring at me. Anger flashed in his gaze as I try to pull away from his touch that some part of me still yearns for.
“What did you expect to gain by allowing me to take you?” He puts an emphasis on the word allowing.
My lips twist into a snarl. I can’t stop the response, and I try to walk away from him again, only to find myself pinned to the wall by a solid wall of mass muscle.
His erection prods into me, and my stomach clenches with want while the rest of me shrivels with fear.
“Answer me.” His voice is calm.
Taunting him had given me a freedom I’d never felt before. Hitting and provoking him was better than anything I’ve ever felt in my life.
But right now, I feel small against the wall under him. “I don’t know.”
“Evie.” The warning in my name has me looking up into Lucca’s dark eyes.
I didn’t want to share with him my truths. My personal thoughts. A piece of me that he had no right to. Red hot lava radiates through my veins, and my head swims with a dizziness, and I know I’m going to do something reckless. I dig my nails into the palms of my hands to calm myself.
“I’m just hoping when they find out I’m not a virgin that they kill us both.” I even manage to grin at him, but it wavers when he leans away from me. He doesn’t allow me to move, but the look on his face is frightening. It’s like he’s impressed with my answer.
Time drags out, and it allows my fear to stretch and morph into something that steals the sound away from the space. Lucca’s lip rises, and he takes another step away from me.
“That’s very clever.” He half laughs, it’s short, but I heard it.
The smile leaves his lips. “Go to bed, Evie.”
I’m moving quickly, as my heartbeat is the rhythm I walk to. I’m in his room, and once again, the air has been vacuumed from the room. I stand still and don’t move until I’m steadier and take baby steps to the bed that I sit on.
Emotionally, I can’t even think anymore as I lie down and stare at the ceiling. I want to go back to my memories, but they don’t come. Lucca’s aftershave has left an imprint on my memories, and each time I see my parents, the image morphs into Lucca.
This happens until I steal small bubbles of time, but the smallest sound has me opening my eyes. Light pours in from the window, and it’s like an hourglass has released the last grain of sand.
Time’s up.
Game over.
I sit up as the door opens. Seeing Lucca in the light of day has anger and my attraction for him, tying itself together until I can’t untie them. I can’t figure out what I should feel right now.
“Come downstairs.” His gaze doesn’t waver, and as I get off the bed, I wonder if he feels anything for what happened last night.
Lucca doesn’t walk away but waits for me to leave the room first. I hate having him at my back and find myself hesitating at the top of the stairs. I grip the banister for dear life. I’m waiting for two large hands to land on my back and push me down the stairs.
The steps nearly disappear under my feet as I rush down the stairs. The moment my feet touch the floor, I glance behind me as Lucca clears the final step. His dark eyes are alight with humor, and I’m frozen to the spot as he walks past me.
“Come, Evie.” He calls from the kitchen, and I glance at the front door. A shadow moves past it. All dressed in black.
“Evie.” The warning in Lucca’s voice has me entering the kitchen.
The table is set for two. My stomach sours. I couldn’t eat with him.
“Sit down.”
I do as he says. He approaches the table with a bowl of porridge. I’m staring at the white oats.
“Isn’t that an Irish breakfast?”
My head snaps up, and I hate that I told him so much about me. “I’m fine. I’m not hungry.”
His jaw clenches at my answer. I love porridge. My mam made the best porridge in the world. I push the bowl away, the smell raising too many memories that I had forgotten about. Lucca doesn’t step away but pushes the bowl back in front of me.
“I want you to eat, Evie. You look pale.”
My heart races as I glare up at him. “I don’t want it.”
I’m waiting for him to
