Skye gave me a mutinous look. "Where did he get this?" she demanded, shoving one of Jasper's old cameras in front of my face and I realised that was what Jacob had been fiddling with the whole time he had been quiet.
I bent down to pick him up and Skye let out a frustrated sound. "How many times do I have to tell you that I don't want any of his stuff in this house? I thought we got rid of everything."
I hugged Jacob to myself and shook my head at her, extending a hand for the camera. "Just give it back. Can't you see that he's upset?"
Her response was to walk over to the kitchen while muttering something about me spoiling the kid as she dumped the camera in the trash can which made Jacob howl even more. "Skye, for fu-" I paused and took a deep breath, rocking Jacob in my arms and soothing him by rubbing his back. Now was not the time to argue with her. It would only make him more upset.
I didn't get it. It was just an old camera. He liked it. What was the big deal?
"I'm going to the gallery," Skye announced, heading back upstairs.
"But the show isn't till this evening. I thought you said your staff will take care of it," I said loudly in confusion.
Skye didn't reply and it made me so mad. We were supposed to spend the day together. That had been the plan, anyway. Until she decided to change it without even discussing it with me first.
Jacob's arms tightened around me and I hugged him back as I stood there in the middle of the living room.
I wasn't sure who was comforting whom at that moment.
****
Chapter Eight
Skye
There wasn't much to do at the gallery. We had wrapped up most of the preparations the previous night. The extra staff I had hired for the exhibition today would take care of the leftover tasks and later in the afternoon, I would only have to go over everything with my art director, Leo. He was the one who did most of the work when it came to curating the paintings and taking care of the business side of things. I'd learned a lot from him over these months but my speciality was teaching.
We had an adequately-sized room for my painting lessons at the end of a corridor which was usually where I spent hours of my day but I'd cancelled lessons for today due to the exhibition. We'd found some pretty talented artists this time around. Some of my paintings were being used as well. Since Roskos, the gallery I now owned, was so huge, we also had a whole section dedicated to photography exhibitions if the need arose. I liked the versatility of this job.
Although, I'd resented it so much at first knowing where it had all come from. I had no idea Jasper had made that much money from his gigs in London. Something didn't quite add up. I'd ignored Cole's gesture for weeks but he had refused to sell the building. It got too difficult being at home so I reasoned with myself that since Jasper had given that money to Cole and Cole had decided to use it to do something for me, I could swallow my pride and make the most of it.
I'd needed something for myself. Something that was just mine. A place where I could feel useful and productive and not have to see Jacob all the time.
My gaze rested on the photograph on my desk in the office I used. Cole, Jacob and I were posing in a selfie with paint all over us, smiling. It was so hard to look at my son, Jasper's son and keep being reminded of the fact that I was living a lie. Jacob's life was a lie because of me. Cole was in the dark because of me. Those two loved each other, were so attached to each other.
It scared me so much whenever I felt like Jasper's presence was intruding in our lives. I felt like at any moment, a bomb was going to explode and our family would shatter. Why, why couldn't Cole just let go of Jasper for good? It made me so edgy.
When I had first made the decision to keep Jacob away from Jasper, I hadn't even thought of the repercussions. I'd been so angry and hurt, I'd believed I was doing what was right for our family. If Jasper couldn't remain loyal and care about the two people who already loved him so much, how would he care for a child he didn't even consider when he was off having his fun with another woman? He would've done something to hurt my baby, too. Men like him couldn't be trusted at all. I'd learned that lesson so late.
But the guilt I experienced made life at home so miserable. I couldn't enjoy my family life because it was based on falsehood. If Cole ever found out...he would hate me. The thought broke my heart sometimes, that in his eyes, I wouldn't be perfect anymore. I wouldn't be that beautiful angel he always regarded me as. He would leave me for Jasper.
I loved him so much. I loved my son, too. What had I done? It was a question I asked myself every day. When I went home at nights, I dreaded seeing my husband because I kept thinking, what if that night was the night he finally turned around and asked me if Jacob was truly his kid? What if he discovered something about Jacob that made him doubt his paternity?
How could he not see? He spent almost all his waking hours with our son. Jacob was the spitting image of me but his personality was like Jasper's.
