Jean-Christophe was dashed. At any other time he would not have borne his uncle laughing at him, he at whom he was used to laughing. And, at the same time, he would never have thought Gottfried clever enough to stump him with an argument. He cast about for some answer or some impertinence to throw at him, but could find none. Gottfried went on:
“When you are as great as from here to Coblentz, you will never make a single song.”
Jean-Christophe revolted on that.
“And if I will! …”
“The more you want to, the less you can. To make songs, you have to be like those creatures. Listen. …”
The moon had risen, round and gleaming, behind the fields. A silvery mist hovered above the ground and the shimmering waters. The frogs croaked, and in the meadows the melodious fluting of the toads arose. The shrill tremolo of the grasshoppers seemed to answer the twinkling of the stars. The wind rustled softly in the branches of the alders. From the hills above the river there came down the sweet light song of a nightingale.
“What need is there to sing?” sighed Gottfried, after a long silence. (It was not clear whether he were talking to himself or to Jean-Christophe.) “Don’t they sing sweeter than anything that you could make?”
Jean-Christophe had often heard these sounds of the night, and he loved them. But never had he heard them as he heard them now. It was true: what need was there to sing? … His heart was full of tenderness and sorrow. He was fain to embrace the meadows, the river, the sky, the clear stars. He was filled with love for his uncle Gottfried, who seemed to him now the best, the cleverest, the most beautiful of men. He thought how he had misjudged him, and he thought that his uncle was sad because he, Jean-Christophe, had misjudged him. He was remorseful. He wanted to cry out: “Uncle, do not be sad! I will not be naughty again. Forgive me, I love you!” But he dared not. And suddenly he threw himself into Gottfried’s arms, but the words would not come, only he repeated, “I love you!” and kissed him passionately. Gottfried was surprised and touched, and went on saying, “What? What?” and kissed him. Then he got up, took him by the hand, and said: “We must go in.” Jean-Christophe was sad because his uncle had not understood him. But as they came to the house, Gottfried said: “If you like we’ll go again to hear God’s music, and I will sing you some more songs.” And when Jean-Christophe kissed him gratefully as they said good night, he saw that his uncle had understood.
Thereafter they often went for walks together in the evening, and they walked without a word along by the river, or through the fields. Gottfried slowly smoked his pipe, and Jean-Christophe, a little frightened by the darkness, would give him his hand. They would sit down on the grass, and after a few moments of silence Gottfried would talk to him about the stars and the clouds; he taught him to distinguish the breathing of the earth, air, and water, the songs, cries, and sounds of the little worlds of flying, creeping, hopping, and swimming things swarming in the darkness, and the signs of rain and fine weather, and the countless instruments of the symphony of the night. Sometimes Gottfried would sing tunes, sad or gay, but always of the same kind, and always in the end Jean-Christophe would be brought to the same sorrow. But he would never sing more than one song in an evening, and Jean-Christophe noticed that he did not sing gladly when he was asked to do so; it had to come of itself, just when he wanted to. Sometimes they had to wait for a long time without speaking, and just when Jean-Christophe was beginning to think, “He is not going to sing this evening,” Gottfried would make up his mind.
One evening, when nothing would induce Gottfried to sing, Jean-Christophe thought of submitting to him one of his own small compositions, in the making of which he found so much trouble and pride. He wanted to show what an artist he was. Gottfried listened very quietly, and then said:
“That is very ugly, my poor dear Jean-Christophe!”
Jean-Christophe was so hurt that he could find nothing to say. Gottfried went on pityingly:
“Why did you do it? It is so ugly! No one forced you to do it.”
Hot with anger, Jean-Christophe protested:
“My grandfather thinks my music fine.”
“Ah!” said Gottfried, not turning a hair. “No doubt he is right. He is a learned man. He knows all about music. I know nothing about it. …”
And after a moment:
“But I think that is very ugly.”
He looked quietly at Jean-Christophe, and saw his angry face, and smiled, and said:
“Have you composed any others? Perhaps I shall like the others better than that.”
Jean-Christophe thought that his other compositions might wipe out the impression of the first, and he sang them all. Gottfried said nothing; he waited until they were finished. Then he shook his head, and with profound conviction said:
“They are even more ugly.”
Jean-Christophe shut his lips, and his chin trembled; he wanted to cry. Gottfried went on as though he himself were upset.
“How ugly they are!”
Jean-Christophe, with tears in his voice, cried out: “But why do you say they are ugly?”
Gottfried looked at him with his frank eyes.
“Why? … I don’t know. … Wait. … They are ugly … first, because they are stupid. … Yes, that’s it. … They are stupid, they don’t mean anything. … You see? When you wrote, you had nothing to say. Why did you write them?”
“I don’t know,” said Jean-Christophe, in a piteous voice. “I wanted to write something pretty.”
“There you are! You wrote for the sake of writing. You wrote because you wanted to
