That brought him toppling down from his lofty eloquence. He stopped short, dumbfounded. The others roared with laughter. All that afternoon he went about with clenched teeth. In the evening he was going home, hurrying back to hide away in a corner alone with his suffering. Olivier met him: he was struck by his downcast expression: he guessed that he was suffering.
“You are hurt. Why?”
Emmanuel refused to answer. Olivier pressed him kindly. The boy persisted in his silence: but his jaw trembled as though he were on the point of weeping. Olivier took his arm and led him back to his rooms. Although he too had the cruel and instinctive feeling of repulsion from ugliness and disease that is in all who are not born with the souls of sisters of charity, he did not let it appear.
“Someone has hurt you?”
“Yes.”
“What did they do?”
The boy laid bare his heart. He said that he was ugly. He said that his comrades had told him that their revolution was not for him.
“It is not for them, either, my boy, nor for us. It is not a single day’s affair. It is all for those who will come after us.”
The boy was taken aback by the thought that it would be so long deferred.
“Don’t you like to think that people are working to give happiness to thousands of boys like yourself, to millions of human beings?”
Emmanuel sighed and said:
“But it would be good to have a little happiness oneself.”
“My dear boy, you mustn’t be ungrateful. You live in the most beautiful city, in an age that is most rich in marvels; you are not a fool, and you have eyes to see. Think of all the things there are to be seen and loved all around you.”
He pointed out a few things.
The boy listened, nodded his head, and said:
“Yes, but I’ve got to face the fact that I shall always have to live in this body of mine!”
“Not at all. You will quit it.”
“And that will be the end.”
“How do you know that?”
The boy was aghast. Materialism was part and parcel of his grandfather’s creed: he thought that it was only the priest-ridden prigs who believed in an eternal life. He knew that his friend was not such a one: and he wondered if Olivier could be speaking seriously. But Olivier held his hand and expounded at length his idealistic faith, and the unity of boundless life, that has neither beginning nor end, in which all the millions of creatures and all the million million moments of time are but rays of the sun, the sole source of it all. But he did not put it to him in such an abstract form. Instinctively, when he talked to the boy, he adapted himself to his mode of thought;—ancient legends, the material and profound fancies of old cosmogonies were called to mind: half in fun, half in earnest, he spoke of metempsychosis and the succession of countless forms through which the soul passes and flows, like a spring passing from pool to pool. All this was interspersed with reminiscences of Christianity and images taken from the summer evening, the light of which was cast upon them both. He was sitting by the open window, and the boy was standing by his side, and their hands were clasped. It was a Saturday evening. The bells were ringing. The earliest swallows, only just returned, were skimming the walls of the houses. The dim sky was smiling above the city, which was wrapped in shadow. The boy held his breath and listened to the fairytale his man friend was telling him. And Olivier, warmed by the eagerness of his young hearer, was caught up by the interest of his own stories.
There are decisive moments in life when, just as the electric lights suddenly flash out in the darkness of a great city, so the eternal fires flare up in the darkness of the soul. A spark darting from another soul is enough to transmit the Promethean fire to the waiting soul. On that spring evening Olivier’s calm words kindled the light that never dies in the mind hidden in the boy’s deformed body, as in a battered lantern. He understood none of Olivier’s arguments: he hardly heard them. But the legends and images which were only beautiful stories and parables to Olivier, took living shape and form in his mind, and were most real. The fairytale lived, moved, and breathed all around him. And the view framed in the window of the room, the people passing in the street, rich and poor, the swallows skimming the walls, the jaded horses dragging their loads along, the stones of the houses drinking in the cool shadow of the twilight, and the pale heavens where the light was dying—all the outside world was softly imprinted on his mind, softly as a kiss. It was but the flash of a moment. Then the light died down. He thought of Rainette, and said:
“But the people who go to Mass, the people who believe in God, are all cracked, aren’t they?”
Olivier smiled.
“They believe,” he said, “as we do. We all believe the same thing. Only their belief is less than ours. They are people who have to shut all the shutters and light the lamp before they can see the light. They see God in the shape of a man. We have keener eyes. But the light that we love is the same.”
The boy went home through the dark streets in which the gas lamps were not yet lit. Olivier’s words were ringing in his head. He thought that it was as cruel to laugh at people because they had weak eyes as because they were hunchbacked. And he thought that Rainette had very pretty eyes: and he thought that he had brought tears into them. He could not bear that. He turned and went across to the stationer’s. The window was still a little open: and he thrust his head inside and
