Exiles

us all the time? Richard Very coldly. I was watching you. Robert Quickly. I mean, watching me. And you never spoke! You had only to speak a word⁠—to save me from myself. You were trying me. Passes his hand again over his forehead. It was a terrible trial: now also. Desperately. Well, it is past. It will be a lesson to me for all my life. You hate me now for what I have done and for⁠ ⁠… Richard Quietly, looking at him. Have I said that I hate you? Robert Do you not? You must. Richard Even if Bertha had not told me I should have known. Did you not see that when I came in this afternoon I went into my study suddenly for a moment? Robert You did. I remember. Richard To give you time to recover yourself. It made me sad to see your eyes. And the roses too. I cannot say why. A great mass of overblown roses. Robert I thought I had to give them. Was that strange? Looks at Richard with a tortured expression. Too many, perhaps? Or too old or common? Richard That was why I did not hate you. The whole thing made me sad all at once. Robert To himself. And this is real. It is happening⁠—to us. He stares before him for some moments in silence, as if dazed; then, without turning his head, continues. Robert And she, too, was trying me; making an experiment with me for your sake! Richard You know women better than I do. She says she felt pity for you. Robert Brooding. Pitied me, because I am no longer⁠ ⁠… an ideal lover. Like my roses. Common, old. Richard Like all men you have a foolish wandering heart. Robert Slowly. Well, you spoke at last. You chose the right moment. Richard Leans forward. Robert, not like this. For us two, no. Years, a whole life, of friendship. Think a moment. Since childhood, boyhood⁠ ⁠… No, no. Not in such a way⁠—like thieves⁠—at night. Glancing about him. And in such a place. No, Robert, that is not for people like us. Robert What a lesson! Richard, I cannot tell you what a relief it is to me that you have spoken⁠—that the danger is passed. Yes, yes. Somewhat diffidently. Because⁠ ⁠… there was some danger for you, too, if you think. Was there not? Richard What danger? Robert In the same tone. I don’t know. I mean if you had not spoken. If you had watched and waited on until⁠ ⁠… Richard Until? Robert Bravely. Until I had come to like her more and more (because I can assure you it is only a lightheaded idea of mine), to like her deeply, to love her. Would you have spoken to me then as you have just now? Richard is silent. Robert goes on more boldly. It would have been different, would it not? For then it might have been too late while it is not too late now. What could I have said then? I could have said only: You are my friend, my dear good friend. I am very sorry but I love her. With a sudden fervent gesture. I love her and I will take her from you, however I can, because I love her. They look at each other for some moments in silence. Richard Calmly. That is the language I have heard often and never believed in. Do you mean by stealth or by violence? Steal you could not in my house because the doors were open; nor take by violence if there were no resistance. Robert You forget that the kingdom of heaven suffers violence: and the kingdom of heaven is like a woman. Richard Smiling. Go on. Robert Diffidently, but bravely. Do you think you have rights over her⁠—over her heart? Richard None. Robert For what you have done for her? So much! You claim nothing? Richard Nothing. Robert After a pause strikes his forehead with his hand. What am I saying? Or what am I thinking? I wish you would upbraid me, curse me, hate me as I deserve. You love this woman. I remember all you told me long ago. She is yours, your work. Suddenly. And that is why I, too, was drawn to her. You are so strong that you attract me even through her. Richard I am weak. Robert With enthusiasm. You, Richard! You are the incarnation of strength. Richard Holds out his hands. Feel those hands. Robert Taking his hands. Yes. Mine are stronger. But I meant strength of another kind. Richard Gloomily. I think you would try to take her by violence. He withdraws his hands slowly. Robert Rapidly. Those are moments of sheer madness when we feel an intense passion for a woman. We see nothing. We think of nothing. Only to possess her. Call it brutal, bestial, what you will. Richard A little timidly. I am afraid that that longing to possess a woman is not love. Robert Impatiently. No man ever yet lived on this earth who did not long to possess⁠—I mean to possess in the flesh⁠—the woman whom he loves. It is nature’s law. Richard Contemptuously. What is that to me? Did I vote it? Robert But if you love⁠ ⁠… What else is it? Richard Hesitatingly. To wish her well. Robert Warmly. But the passion which burns us night and day to possess her. You feel it as I do. And it is not what you said now. Richard Have you⁠ ⁠… ? He stops for an instance. Have you the luminous certitude that yours is the brain in contact with which she must think and understand and that yours is the body in contact with which her body must feel? Have you this certitude in yourself? Robert Have you? Richard Moved. Once I had it, Robert: a certitude as luminous as that of my own existence⁠—or an illusion as luminous. Robert Cautiously. And now? Richard If you had it and I could feel that you had it⁠—even now⁠ ⁠… Robert What would you do?