Exiles

epub:type="z3998:persona">Richard Quietly. Go away. You, and not I, would be necessary to her. Alone as I was before I met her. Robert Rubs his hands nervously. A nice little load on my conscience! Richard Abstractedly. You met my son when you came to my house this afternoon. He told me. What did you feel? Robert Promptly. Pleasure. Richard Nothing else? Robert Nothing else. Unless I thought of two things at the same time. I am like that. If my best friend lay in his coffin and his face had a comic expression I should smile. With a little gesture of despair. I am like that. But I should suffer too, deeply. Richard You spoke of conscience⁠ ⁠… Did he seem to you a child only⁠—or an angel? Robert Shakes his head. No. Neither an angel nor an Anglo-Saxon. Two things, by the way, for which I have very little sympathy. Richard Never then? Never even⁠ ⁠… with her? Tell me. I wish to know. Robert I feel in my heart something different. I believe that on the last day (if it ever comes), when we are all assembled together, that the Almighty will speak to us like this. We will say that we lived chastely with one other creature⁠ ⁠… Richard Bitterly. Lie to Him? Robert Or that we tried to. And He will say to us: Fools! Who told you that you were to give yourselves to one being only? You were made to give yourselves to many freely. I wrote that law with My finger on your hearts. Richard On woman’s heart, too? Robert Yes. Can we close our heart against an affection which we feel deeply? Should we close it? Should she? Richard We are speaking of bodily union. Robert Affection between man and woman must come to that. We think too much of it because our minds are warped. For us today it is of no more consequence than any other form of contact⁠—than a kiss. Richard If it is of no consequence why are you dissatisfied till you reach that end? Why were you waiting here tonight? Robert Passion tends to go as far as it can; but, you may believe me or not, I had not that in my mind⁠—to reach that end. Richard Reach it if you can. I will use no arm against you that the world puts in my hand. If the law which God’s finger has written on our hearts is the law you say I too am God’s creature. He rises and paces to and fro some moments in silence. Then he goes towards the porch and leans against the jamb. Robert watches him. Robert I always felt it. In myself and in others. Richard Absently. Yes? Robert With a vague gesture. For all. That a woman, too, has the right to try with many men until she finds love. An immoral idea, is it not? I wanted to write a book about it. I began it⁠ ⁠… Richard As before. Yes? Robert Because I knew a woman who seemed to me to be doing that⁠—carrying out that idea in her own life. She interested me very much. Richard When was this? Robert O, not lately. When you were away. Richard leaves his place rather abruptly and again paces to and fro. Robert You see, I am more honest than you thought. Richard I wish you had not thought of her now⁠—whoever she was, or is. Robert Easily. She was and is the wife of a stockbroker. Richard Turning. You know him? Robert Intimately. Richard sits down again in the same place and leans forward, his head on his hands. Robert Moving his chair a little closer. May I ask you a question? Richard You may. Robert With some hesitation. Has it never happened to you in these years⁠—I mean when you were away from her, perhaps, or travelling⁠—to⁠ ⁠… betray her with another. Betray her, I mean, not in love. Carnally, I mean⁠ ⁠… Has that never happened? Richard It has. Robert And what did you do? Richard As before. I remember the first time. I came home. It was night. My house was silent. My little son was sleeping in his cot. She, too, was asleep. I wakened her from sleep and told her. I cried beside her bed; and I pierced her heart. Robert O, Richard, why did you do that? Richard Betray her? Robert No. But tell her, waken her from sleep to tell her. It was piercing her heart. Richard She must know me as I am. Robert But that is not you as you are. A moment of weakness. Richard Lost in thought. And I was feeding the flame of her innocence with my guilt. Robert Brusquely. O, don’t talk of guilt and innocence. You have made her all that she is. A strange and wonderful personality⁠—in my eyes, at least. Richard Darkly. Or I have killed her. Robert Killed her? Richard The virginity of her soul. Robert Impatiently. Well lost! What would she be without you? Richard I tried to give her a new life. Robert And you have. A new and rich life. Richard Is it worth what I have taken from her⁠—her girlhood, her laughter, her young beauty, the hopes in her young heart? Robert Firmly. Yes. Well worth it. He looks at Richard for some moments in silence. If you had neglected her, lived wildly, brought her away so far only to make her suffer⁠ ⁠… He stops. Richard raises his head and looks at him. Richard If I had? Robert Slightly confused. You know there were rumours here of your life abroad⁠—a wild life. Some persons who knew you or met you or heard of you in Rome. Lying rumours. Richard Coldly. Continue. Robert Laughs a little harshly. Even I at times thought of her as a victim. Smoothly. And of course, Richard, I felt and knew all the time that you were a man of great talent⁠—of something more than talent. And that was your excuse⁠—a valid one in my eyes. Richard Have you thought that it is perhaps now⁠—at this moment⁠—that I am neglecting her? He clasps his hands