Bonesie began to philosophize on the cold-bloodedness of air fighting and really worked himself up into an almost optimistic frame of mind. He was right in the midst of a flowery oration on our comparative safety, “nestling on the bosom of Mother Earth,” when, without any warning whatever, there came a perfect avalanche of shell all around us.
I knew perfectly well that we were caught. The shells, as near as we could see, were coming from our side. Doubtless our people thought that the trench was still manned by Germans, and they were shelling for the big noon attack. Such an attack was made, as I learned afterwards, but I never saw it.
At eleven o’clock I looked at my watch. Somehow I didn’t fear death, although I felt it was near. Maybe the rum was working. I turned to Bonesie and said, “What about that safety stuff, old top?”
“Cheer, cheer, Darby,” said he. “We may pull through yet.”
“Don’t think so,” I insisted. “It’s us for pushing up the daisies. Good luck if we don’t meet again!”
I put my hand in and patted Dinky on the back, and sent up another little prayer for luck. Then there was a terrific shock, and everything went black.
When I came out of it, I had the sensation of struggling up out of water. I thought for an instant that I was drowning. And in effect that was almost what was happening to me. I was buried, all but one side of my face. A tremendous weight pressed down on me, and I could only breathe in little gasps.
I tried to move my legs and arms and couldn’t. Then I wiggled my fingers and toes to see if any bones were broken. They wiggled all right. My right nostril and eye were full of dirt; also my mouth. I spit out the dirt and moved my head until my nose and eye were clear. I ached all over.
It was along toward sundown. Up aloft a single airplane was winging toward our lines. I remember that I wondered vaguely if he was the same fellow who had been fighting just before the world fell in on me.
I tried to sing out to the rest of the men, but the best I could do was a kind of loud gurgle. There was no answer. My head was humming, and the blood seemed to be bursting my ears. I was terribly sorry for myself and tried to pull my strength together for a big try at throwing the weight off my chest, but I was absolutely helpless. Then again I slid out of consciousness.
It was dark when I struggled up through the imaginary water again. I was still breathing in gasps, and I could feel my heart going in great thumps that hurt and seemed to shake the ground. My tongue was curled up and dry, and fever was simply burning me up. My mind was clear, and I wished that I hadn’t drunk that rum. Finding I could raise my head a little, I cocked it up, squinting over my cheek bones—I was on my back—and could catch the far-off flicker of the silver-green flare lights. There was a rattle of musketry off in the direction where the Boche lines ought to be. From behind came the constant boom of big guns. I lay back and watched the stars, which were bright and uncommonly low. Then a shell burst near by—not near enough to hurt—but buried as I was the whole earth seemed to shake. My heart stopped beating, and I went out again.
When I came to the next time, it was still dark, and somebody was lifting me on to a stretcher. My first impression was of getting a long breath. I gulped it down, and with every grateful inhalation I felt my ribs painfully snapping back into place. Oh, Lady! Didn’t I just eat that air up.
And then, having gotten filled up with the long-denied oxygen, I asked, “Where’s the others?”
“Ayen’t no hothers,” was the brief reply.
And there weren’t. Later I reconstructed the occurrences of the night from what I was told by the rescuing party.
A big shell had slammed down on us, drilling Bonesie, the man in the middle, from end to end. He was demolished. The shell was a “dud,” that is, it didn’t explode. If it had, there wouldn’t have been anything whatever left of any of us. As it was our overhang caved in, letting sandbags and earth down on the remaining man and myself. The other man was buried clean under. He had life in him still when he was dug out but “went west” in about ten minutes.
The fourth man was found dead from shrapnel. I found, too, that the two unwounded men who had gone back with Lieutenant May had both been killed on the way in. So out of the twelve men who started on the “suicide club” stunt I was the only one left. Dinky was still inside my tunic, and I laid the luck all to him.
Back in hospital I was found to be suffering from shell shock. Also my heart was pushed out of place. There were no bones broken, though I was sore all over, and several ribs were pulled around so that it was like a knife thrust at every breath. Besides that, my nerves were shattered. I jumped a foot at the slightest noise and twitched a good deal.
At the end of a week I asked the M.O. if I would get Blighty and he said he didn’t think so, not directly. He rather thought that they would keep me in hospital for a month or two and see how I came out. The officer was a Canadian and
