Candida

looks at her stenography, which nearly makes her cry. Morell Did I go too fast, Pross? Proserpine Much too fast. You know I can’t do more than a hundred words a minute. She relieves her feelings by throwing her notebook angrily beside her machine, ready for use next morning. Morell Soothingly. Oh, well, well, never mind, never mind, never mind. Have you all had supper? Lexy Mr. Burgess has been kind enough to give us a really splendid supper at the Belgrave. Burgess With effusive magnanimity. Don’t mention it, Mr. Mill. Modestly. You’re ’arty welcome to my little treat. Proserpine We had champagne! I never tasted it before. I feel quite giddy. Morell Surprised. A champagne supper! That was very handsome. Was it my eloquence that produced all this extravagance? Lexy Rhetorically. Your eloquence, and Mr. Burgess’s goodness of heart. With a fresh burst of exhilaration. And what a very fine fellow the chairman is, Morell! He came to supper with us. Morell With long drawn significance, looking at Burgess. O‑o‑o‑h, the chairman. Now I understand. Burgess, covering a lively satisfaction in his diplomatic cunning with a deprecatory cough, retires to the hearth. Lexy folds his arms and leans against the cellaret in a high-spirited attitude. Candida comes in with glasses, lemons, and a jug of hot water on a tray. Candida Who will have some lemonade? You know our rules: total abstinence. She puts the tray on the table, and takes up the lemon squeezers, looking enquiringly round at them. Morell No use, dear. They’ve all had champagne. Pross has broken her pledge. Candida To Proserpine. You don’t mean to say you’ve been drinking champagne! Proserpine Stubbornly. Yes, I do. I’m only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. I don’t like beer. Are there any letters for me to answer, Mr. Morell? Morell No more tonight. Proserpine Very well. Good night, everybody. Lexy Gallantly. Had I not better see you home, Miss Garnett? Proserpine No, thank you. I shan’t trust myself with anybody tonight. I wish I hadn’t taken any of that stuff. She walks straight out. Burgess Indignantly. Stuff, indeed! That gurl dunno wot champagne is! Pommery and Greeno at twelve and six a bottle. She took two glasses a’most straight hoff. Morell A little anxious about her. Go and look after her, Lexy. Lexy Alarmed. But if she should really be⁠—Suppose she began to sing in the street, or anything of that sort. Morell Just so: she may. That’s why you’d better see her safely home. Candida Do, Lexy: there’s a good fellow. She shakes his hand and pushes him gently to the door. Lexy It’s evidently my duty to go. I hope it may not be necessary. Good night, Mrs. Morell. To the rest. Good night. He goes. Candida shuts the door. Burgess He was gushin’ with hextra piety hisself arter two sips. People carn’t drink like they huseter. Dismissing the subject and bustling away from the hearth. Well, James: it’s time to lock up. Mr. Morchbanks: shall I ’ave the pleasure of your company for a bit of the way home? Marchbanks Affrightedly. Yes: I’d better go. He hurries across to the door; but Candida places herself before it, barring his way. Candida With quiet authority. You sit down. You’re not going yet. Marchbanks Quailing. No: I⁠—I didn’t mean to. He comes back into the room and sits down abjectly on the sofa. Candida Mr. Marchbanks will stay the night with us, papa. Burgess Oh, well, I’ll say good night. So long, James. He shakes hands with Morell and goes on to Eugene. Make ’em give you a night light by your bed, Mr. Morchbanks: it’ll comfort you if you wake up in the night with a touch of that complaint of yores. Good night. Marchbanks Thank you: I will. Good night, Mr. Burgess. They shake hands and Burgess goes to the door. Candida Intercepting Morell, who is following Burgess. Stay here, dear: I’ll put on papa’s coat for him. She goes out with Burgess. Marchbanks Morell: there’s going to be a terrible scene. Aren’t you afraid? Morell Not in the least. Marchbanks I never envied you your courage before. He rises timidly and puts his hand appealingly on Morell’s forearm. Stand by me, won’t you? Morell Casting him off gently, but resolutely. Each for himself, Eugene. She must choose between us now. He goes to the other side of the room as Candida returns. Eugene sits down again on the sofa like a guilty schoolboy on his best behaviour. Candida Between them, addressing Eugene. Are you sorry? Marchbanks Earnestly. Yes, heartbroken. Candida Well, then, you are forgiven. Now go off to bed like a good little boy: I want to talk to James about you. Marchbanks Rising in great consternation. Oh, I can’t do that, Morell. I must be here. I’ll not go away. Tell her. Candida With quick suspicion. Tell me what? His eyes avoid hers furtively. She turns and mutely transfers the question to Morell. Morell Bracing himself for the catastrophe. I have nothing to tell her, except here his voice deepens to a measured and mournful tenderness that she is my greatest treasure on earth⁠—if she is really mine. Candida Coldly, offended by his yielding to his orator’s instinct and treating her as if she were the audience at the Guild of St. Matthew. I am sure Eugene can say no less, if that is all. Marchbanks Discouraged. Morell: she’s laughing at us. Morell With a quick touch of temper. There is nothing to laugh at. Are you laughing at us, Candida? Candida With quiet anger. Eugene is very quick-witted, James. I hope I am going to laugh; but I am not sure that I am not going to be very angry. She goes to the fireplace, and stands there leaning with her arm on the mantelpiece and her foot on the fender, whilst