David Harum

he lost a hoss jest as he was cal’latin’ to pay, an’ the next year the grasshoppers smote him, ’n so on; an’ the outcome was that at the end of five years, when the morgidge had one year to run, Charley’d paid one year, an’ she’d paid one, an’ she stood to owe three years’ int’rist. How old Swinney come to hold off so was that she used to pay the cuss ten dollars or so ev’ry six months ’n git no credit fer it, an’ no receipt an’ no witniss, ’n he knowed the prop’ty was improving all the time. He may have had another reason, but at any rate he let her run, and got the shave reg’lar. But at the time I’m tellin’ you about he’d begun to cut up, an’ allowed that if she didn’t settle up the int’rist he’d foreclose, an’ I got wind on’t an’ I run across her one day an’ got to talkin’ with her, an’ she gin me the hull narration. ‘How much do you owe the old critter?’ I says. ‘A hunderd an’ eighty dollars,’ she says, ‘an’ where I’m goin’ to git it,’ she says, ‘the Lord only knows.’ ‘An’ He won’t tell ye, I reckon,’ I says. Wa’al, of course I’d known that Swinney had a morgidge because it was a matter of record, an’ I knowed him well enough to give a guess what his game was goin’ to be, an’ more’n that I’d had my eye on that piece an’ parcel an’ I figured that he wa’n’t any likelier a citizen ’n I was.” (“Yes,” said John to himself, “where the carcase is the vultures are gathered together.”)

“ ‘Wa’al,’ I says to her, after we’d had a little more talk, ‘s’posen you come ’round to my place to-morro’ ’bout ’leven o’clock, an’ mebbe we c’n cipher this thing out. I don’t say positive that we kin,’ I says, ‘but mebbe, mebbe.’ So that afternoon I sent over to the county seat an’ got a description an’ had a second morgidge drawed up fer two hundred dollars, an’ Mis’ Cullom signed it mighty quick. I had the morgidge made one day after date, ’cause, as I said to her, it was in the nature of a temp’rary loan, but she was so tickled she’d have signed most anythin’ at that pertic’ler time. ‘Now,’ I says to her, ‘you go an’ settle with old Step-an’-fetch-it, but don’t you say a word where you got the money,’ I says. ‘Don’t ye let on nothin’⁠—stretch that conscience o’ your’n if nes’sary,’ I says, ‘an’ be pertic’ler if he asks you if Dave Harum give ye the money you jest say, “No, he didn’t.” That wont be no lie,’ I says, ‘because I aint givin’ it to ye,’ I says. Wa’al, she done as I told her. Of course Swinney suspicioned fust off that I was mixed up in it, but she stood him off so fair an’ square that he didn’t know jest what to think, but his claws was cut fer a spell, anyway.

“Wa’al, things went on fer a while, till I made up my mind that I ought to relieve Swinney of some of his anxieties about worldly bus’nis, an’ I dropped in on him one mornin’ an’ passed the time o’ day, an’ after we’d eased up our minds on the subjects of each other’s health an’ suchlike I says, ‘You hold a morgidge on the Widder Cullom’s place, don’t ye?’ Of course he couldn’t say nothin’ but ‘yes.’ ‘Does she keep up the int’rist all right?’ I says. ‘I don’t want to be pokin’ my nose into your bus’nis,’ I says, ‘an’ don’t tell me nothin’ you don’t want to.’ Wa’al, he knowed Dave Harum was Dave Harum, an’ that he might ’s well spit it out, an’ he says, ‘Wa’al, she didn’t pay nothin’ fer a good while, but last time she forked over the hull amount. ‘But I hain’t no notion,’ he says, ‘that she’ll come to time agin.’ ‘An’ s’posin’ she don’t,’ I says, ‘you’ll take the prop’ty, won’t ye?’ ‘Don’t see no other way,’ he says, an’ lookin’ up quick, ‘unless you overbid me,’ he says. ‘No,’ I says, ‘I ain’t buyin’ no real estate jest now, but the thing I come in fer,’ I says, ‘leavin’ out the pleasure of havin’ a talk with you, was to say that I’d take that morgidge off’m your hands.’

“Wa’al, sir, he, he, he, he! Scat my ⸻! At that he looked at me fer a minute with his jaw on his neck, an’ then he hunched himself, ’n drawed in his neck like a mud turtle. ‘No,’ he says, ‘I ain’t sufferin’ fer the money, an’ I guess I’ll keep the morgidge. It’s putty near due now, but mebbe I’ll let it run a spell. I guess the secur’ty’s good fer it.’ ‘Yes,’ I says, ‘I reckon you’ll let it run long enough fer the widder to pay the taxes on’t once more anyhow; I guess the secur’ty’s good enough to take that resk; but how ’bout my secur’ty?’ I says. ‘What d’you mean?’ he says. ‘I mean,’ says I, ‘that I’ve got a second morgidge on that prop’ty, an’ I begin to tremble fer my secur’ty. You’ve jest told me,’ I says, ‘that you’re goin’ to foreclose an’ I cal’late to protect myself, an’ I don’t cal’late,’ I says, ‘to have to go an’ bid on that prop’ty, an’ put in a lot more money to save my investment, unless I’m ’bleeged to⁠—not much! an’ you can jest sign that morgidge over to me, an’ the sooner the quicker,’ I says.”

David brought his hand down on his thigh with a vigorous slap, the fellow of the one which, John could imagine, had emphasized his demand upon Swinney. The story, to which he had at first listened with polite patience merely, he had found more interesting as it went on, and, excusing himself, he