“My!” ejaculated Aunt Polly. “Did he take you up?”
“ ‘That’s more’n I give fer a hoss ’n a good while,’ he says, shakin’ his head, ‘an’ more’n I c’n afford, I’m ’fraid.’ ‘All right,’ I says; ‘I c’n afford to keep him’; but I knew I had the deakin same as the woodchuck had Skip. ‘Hitch up the roan,’ I says to Mike; ‘the deakin wants to be took up to his house.’ ‘Is that your last word?’ he says. ‘That’s what it is,’ I says. ‘Two hunderd, cash down.’ ”
“Didn’t ye dast to trust the deakin?” asked Mrs. Bixbee.
“Polly,” said David, “the’s a number of holes in a ten-foot ladder.” Mrs. Bixbee seemed to understand this rather ambiguous rejoinder.
“He must ’a’ squirmed some,” she remarked. David laughed.
“The deakin ain’t much used to payin’ the other feller’s price,” he said, “an’ it was like pullin’ teeth; but he wanted that hoss more’n a cow wants a calf, an’ after a little more squimmidgin’ he hauled out his wallet an’ forked over. Mike come out with the roan, an’ off the deakin went, leadin’ the bay hoss.”
“I don’t see,” said Mrs. Bixbee, looking up at her brother, “thet after all the’ was anythin’ you said to the deakin thet he could ketch holt on.”
“The’ wa’n’t nothin’,” he replied. “The only thing he c’n complain about’s what I didn’t say to him.”
“Hain’t he said anythin’ to ye?” Mrs. Bixbee inquired.
“He, he, he, he! He hain’t but once, an’ the’ wa’n’t but little of it then.”
“How?”
“Wa’al, the day but one after the deakin sold himself Mr. Stickin’-Plaster I had an arrant three four mile or so up past his place, an’ when I was comin’ back, along ’bout four or half past, it come on to rain like all possessed. I had my old umbrel’—though it didn’t hender me f’m gettin’ more or less wet—an’ I sent the old mare along fer all she knew. As I come along to within a mile f’m the deakin’s house I seen somebody in the road, an’ when I come up closter I see it was the deakin himself, in trouble, an’ I kind o’ slowed up to see what was goin’ on. There he was, settin’ all humped up with his ole broad-brim hat slopin’ down his back, a-sheddin’ water like a roof. Then I seen him lean over an’ larrup the hoss with the ends of the lines fer all he was wuth. It appeared he hadn’t no whip, an’ it wouldn’t done him no good if he’d had. Wa’al, sir, rain or no rain, I jest pulled up to watch him. He’d larrup a spell, an’ then he’d set back; an’ then he’d lean over an’ try it agin, harder’n ever. Scat my ⸻! I thought I’d die a-laughin’. I couldn’t hardly cluck to the mare when I got ready to move on. I drove alongside an’ pulled up. ‘Hullo, deakin,’ I says, ‘what’s the matter?’ He looked up at me, an’ I won’t say he was the maddest man I ever see, but he was long ways the maddest-lookin’ man, an’ he shook his fist at me jes’ like one o’ the unregen’rit. ‘Consarn ye, Dave Harum!’ he says, ‘I’ll hev the law on ye fer this.’ ‘What fer?’ I says. ‘I didn’t make it come on to rain, did I?’ I says. ‘You know mighty well what fer,’ he says. ‘You sold me this damned beast,’ he says, ‘an’ he’s balked with me nine times this afternoon, an’ I’ll fix ye for ’t,’ he says. ‘Wa’al, deakin,’ I says, ‘I’m ’fraid the squire’s office’ll be shut up ’fore you git there, but I’ll take any word you’d like to send. You know I told ye,’ I says, ‘that he’d stand ’ithout hitchin’.’ An’ at that he only jest kind o’ choked an’ sputtered. He was so mad he couldn’t say nothin’, an’ on I drove, an’ when I got about forty rod or so I looked back, an’ there was the deakin a-comin’ along the road with as much of his shoulders as he could git under his hat an’ leadin’ his new hoss. He, he, he, he! Oh, my stars an’ garters! Say, Polly, it paid me fer bein’ born into this vale o’ tears. It did, I declare for’t!” Aunt Polly wiped her eyes on her apron.
“But, Dave,” she said, “did the deakin really say—that word?”
“Wa’al,” he replied, “if ’twa’n’t that it was the puttiest imitation on’t that ever I heard.”
“David,” she continued, “don’t you think it putty mean to badger the deakin so’t he swore, an’ then laugh ’bout it? An’ I s’pose you’ve told the story all over.”
“Mis’ Bixbee,” said David emphatically, “if I’d paid good money to see a funny show I’d be a blamed fool if I didn’t laugh, wouldn’t I? That specticle of the deakin cost me consid’able, but it was more’n wuth it. But,” he added, “I guess, the way the thing stands now, I ain’t so much out on the hull.”
Mrs. Bixbee looked at him inquiringly.
“Of course, you know Dick Larrabee?” he asked.
She nodded.
“Wa’al, three four days after the shower, an’ the story ’d got aroun’ some—as you say, the deakin is consid’able of a talker—I got holt of Dick—I’ve done him some favors an’ he natur’ly expects more—an’ I says to him: ‘Dick,’ I says, ‘I hear ’t Deakin Perkins has got a hoss that don’t jest suit him—hain’t got knee-action enough at times,’ I says, ‘an’ mebbe he’ll sell him reasonable.’ ‘I’ve heerd somethin’ about it,’ says Dick, laughin’. ‘One of them kind o’ hosses ’t you don’t like to git ketched out in the rain with,’ he says. ‘Jes’ so,’ I says. ‘Now,’ I says, ‘I’ve got a notion ’t I’d like to own that hoss at a price, an’ that mebbe I c’d git him home even if
