XXI
Instructing the Cabin Boy
“If any man will do his will he shall know of the doctrine.”
John 7:17
When John Wesley was on his way home from Georgia, he wrote this record of the voyage in his Journal:—“Being sorrowful and very heavy (though I could give no particular reason for it) and utterly unwilling to speak close to any of my little flock (about twenty persons), I was in doubt whether my own neglect of them was not one cause of my heaviness. In the evening, therefore, I began instructing the cabin boy, after which I was much easier.”
This is a significant passage for various reasons. For one thing, it lets us see that even a spiritual genius like Wesley sometimes fell into the mood of doubt. And, for another, it shows how, almost by accident, as it seems, he found a cure for his trouble. It is plain that religion just then had lost its savour for the great evangelist. The joy had gone out of his service and the power from his prayers, and he was not sure of anything at all. This is practical doubt, the only serious kind there is. “Being sorrowful and very heavy and very unwilling.”
There are not a few men and women whose trouble this is. They are in straits to know what is really God’s truth. They greatly desire to lay hold of it surely for themselves. The tremendous earnestness of those who have found the old dogmas unsatisfying, and are adrift again in a twentieth century search for God, is one of the most significant features of the situation. Can a man really come in touch with God? they ask. Is there a living Christ whose presence redeems men from evil and can lift them up to what they long to be? Is there a life with God which even Death cannot end? And those who are in such deep earnest to know God vitally for themselves, are sorrowful and heavy indeed to find that all their thinking and reading and inquiry do so little for them. They pray for light, and examine all the evidence with a wistful eagerness, but the clouds still lie around them, and they are still wandering, now in this direction, now in that, like men lost in a mist.
Is there no way out of this tangle? Yes, there is. To all who are sorrowful and heavy because they know so little they can call their own about God and spiritual living, I want to say, There is a way forward, a safe, sure way. It is the way that Wesley stumbled upon. “I began instructing the cabin boy.” That is the way for you and me to a fuller experience of God.
That is the simple solution which so many thousands of us have overlooked, and it was the discovery of Jesus Christ. When asked how He knew about God, He answered that it was because He was doing God’s will, and He added, If any man, no matter who, no matter what his doubts be, if any man be willing to do God’s will, where, and as, it is clear to him, he too shall know. God will not leave him in ignorance of what is really essential.
Nowhere, except in the Bible, do you find such a method of learning recommended. From nobody but Christ could such a precept come, for it is clean contrary to all that we know about learning in other spheres. Study and you will know, think, investigate, ask questions—that, we can understand. That is how knowledge comes to us in the realms with which we are acquainted. But when men asked Christ how they could learn God’s truth for themselves, He said, First of all you must obey it. Do, and you will know.
You remember the lepers whom Christ touched, of whom it is written that “as they went, they were healed?” That is how the only sort of doubt that really matters is healed. As you go, not as you sit still and puzzle, but as you shoulder the nearest duty and obey what light and knowledge you have.
“I don’t know,” Wesley would say to himself, “whether I am in my right place here or not, whether I am really Christ’s servant or not. I am in the dark, and don’t seem to be sure of anything. But there is that cabin boy. I can at least do him some good. That is right anyhow, whatever be uncertain.” “After which,” he says, “I was much easier.” It is marvellous to read, but it is a law as certain and safe as gravitation. Do God’s will as you know it, and you will get more light. “Doubt of any sort,” said Thomas Carlyle, “cannot be removed except by action.”
It is hardly necessary to say, of course, that the knowledge which Christ promises to those who will obey God’s will is not of dogma in its restricted theological sense. It was life Christ talked about, it was life He was concerned with, and, for Him, life meant not head-knowledge, but heart-experience and heart-hold of God. It is that He promises in His great saying. So do not make the mistake of thinking that when you seek to do the Will of God, all your mental difficulties, about miracles or inspiration or whatnot else, will come to an end. These are problems, not of life, but of mind, and you have them because God has given you a mind, and you will probably have them as long as your mind is growing. What Christ does promise is of
