“Of course you do, Mr. Sant. But these American women have no manners whatever.”
“Ah weel now, we’ve had enough of that. Look ye now, I’ve been letting ye go your own way a bit; and I think the time’s come when ye might introduce me to some of your gran’ friens. A’m none too gey at the hotel; and besides that, it’s me due.”
She found the man a sudden and accented nuisance: but she couldn’t possibly quarrel with the keeper of the purse. “I’m sure, if you think it advisable, I don’t want to keep you back. I don’t quite see though how I can take you with me, as you say. You see you don’t know any of these people.”
“Well and fhat of that?”
“Why you silly man of course you’ve got to be introduced.”
“How did you get introduced yersel’?”
“Oh, why, I was converted, you see.”
“Imphm! Well, I’ll let ye know I’m not for being converted, as ye call it.”
“No, I suppose not. I think it rather a pity, you know; because I’m sure you’d have no difficulty afterwards.”
“A willna!”
“Perhaps if I were to hint that you were thinking about it—”
“Ah weel, ye might do that now. Look here ma wumman. Why can’t ye introduce me yersel’?”
“Oh I couldn’t. People would want to know what you were to me—”
“I’m your paymaster.”
“Oh how can you say such things!”
“Because I am.”
“Yes I know you are: but you needn’t say it out so bluntly. I’ll tell you what I might do. You be at the tea-place in Piazzer Dispaggner every afternoon from four to five. I’m sure to come in tomorrow or the next day with a few friends; and, if you were to bow to me, I might recognize you and ask you to our table.”
“Wumman A’ll dae’t. Who pays for the tea, though?”
“Sometimes I do; and sometimes whoever I come with.”
“Well then I’m coming. And I’ll let you know to have a good blow out, plenty o’ scones and bit-cakeys an’ a’ that. I’ll pay; and I don’t mind if it costs me three shilling, so long as ye introduce me to some of these mashers.”
“Very well. But remember, you’re thinking about becoming Catholic.”
“A’m not.”
“Dear me, Mr. Sant, but you must be. Then they’ll take an interest in you and ask you to their parties.”
“Ah weel then, I am.”
“Who is this Mr. Sant?” said a Pict to an Erse (who called himself “The” before his surname). The italicized question was asked at a reception in Mrs. O’Jade’s flat on Palazzo Campello, about a fortnight after the previous confabulation.
“I really don’t quite know, beyond that he’s a friend of that Mrs. Crowe who was converted the other day.”
“Is he a convert too?”
“No, not yet: but they say he’s likely to be. They’re both Liblabs, you know.”
“Oh, yes of course, I read about them in the papers. What a score it will be for the Church! Well, what do you make of him?”
“Oh he seems earnest enough: but he’s hardly got a word to say for himself. And I don’t think he’s quite a gentleman, you know.”
Hadrian sat at the end of one of His long bare tables. On both sides of Him were two great numbered baskets. At the other end of the table was a huge leathern sack containing the pontifical mail. At the sides of the table stood the two Gentlemen of the Apostolic Chamber with stilettos. The Pope unlocked the sack; and Sir John and Sir Iulo in turn drew out a handful of letters and displayed them before Him. He scanned the handwriting of each; and named a numbered basket into which the designated missive was cast. When the sack was empty, the contents of the baskets were dealt with. All the letters in the first were addressed “To His Holiness the Pope, Prefect of the Holy Roman and Universal Inquisition.” Hadrian took the stiletto from Sir Iulo; and slit open each envelope which Sir John presented. Thus they were returned to the basket, and sent to be perused by the Cardinal-Secretary-of-State. The two gentlemen seated themselves at the table: cut-open the envelopes of the second basketful; and pushed them within the Pope’s reach. These were addressed in known hand-writings. Hadrian read the letters, and sorted them in separate heaps before Him: each heap was weighted by a miniature ingot of pure copper, the colour of which He immensely admired. Two letters were placed face downwards by themselves. The envelopes from the third basket were opened, and the letters extracted by the gentlemen: Hadrian only looked-at and arranged them. The fourth basket contained newspapers, which Sir John opened and examined for marked paragraphs. If any such were found, Sir Iulo folded the paper open and placed it: otherwise the paper was torn and returned to the basket. Meanwhile the Pope more closely inspected the letters which He had retained. The gentlemen placed a couple of phonographs on the table: inserted new cylinders; and retired. Hadrian got up and locked the doors. He took the little heaps of letters from under the ingots; and spoke into the machine formal acknowledgments of receipt and a short blessing, or definite instructions for detailed responses, until all had received attention except the two letters which lay by themselves, and three others. He unlocked the door. The gentlemen entered; and carried the instruments with the articulate cylinders to Cardinals Sterling, Whitehead, Leighton, della Volta, and Fiamma, who acted as pontifical secretaries in the ninth antechamber. Hadrian Himself wrote to His well-beloved son William, to His beloved son Edmund Earl Marshal of England, and to His beloved son A. Panciera. These being enclosed and addressed, He was left alone. He took the two remaining letters to the easy-chair by the window; rolled and lighted a cigarette; and considered them.
Reverend and Dear Sir,
Since our late esteemed interview when I had the pleasure of addressing your lordship on the subject of Socialism I have been anxiously awaiting the favour of
