Short Plays

this town that a line should be drawn between those that are straight wives and mothers and those that are, in the words of the Book of Books, taking the primrose path. We don’t wish to be hard on any woman; and most of us have a personal regard for Miss Evans for the sake of old times; but there’s no getting out of the fact that she has private reasons for wishing to oblige Strapper, and that⁠—if she will excuse my saying so⁠—she is not what I might call morally particular as to what she does to oblige him. Therefore I ask the prisoner not to drive us to give Miss Evans the oath. I ask him to tell us fair and square, as a man who has but a few minutes between him and eternity, what he done with my horse. The Boys Hear, hear! That’s right. That’s fair. That does it. Now, Blanco. Own up. Blanco Sheriff: you touch me home. This is a rotten world; but there is still one thing in it that remains sacred even to the rottenest of us, and that is a horse. The Boys Good. Well said, Blanco. That’s straight. Blanco You have a right to your horse, Sheriff; and if I could put you in the way of getting it back, I would. But if I had that horse I shouldn’t be here. As I hope to be saved, Sheriff⁠—or rather as I hope to be damned; for I have no taste for pious company and no talent for playing the harp⁠—I know no more of that horse’s whereabouts than you do yourself. Strapper Who did you trade him to? Blanco I did not trade him. I got nothing for him or by him. I stand here with a rope round my neck for the want of him. When you took me, did I fight like a thief or run like a thief; and was there any sign of a horse on me or near me? Strapper You were looking at a rainbow, like a damned silly fool instead of keeping your wits about you; and we stole up on you and had you tight before you could draw a bead on us. The Sheriff That don’t sound like good sense. What would he look at a rainbow for? Blanco I’ll tell you, Sheriff. I was looking at it because there was something written on it. The Sheriff How do you mean written on it? Blanco The words were, “I’ve got the cinch on you this time, Blanco Posnet.” Yes, Sheriff, I saw those words in green on the red streak of the rainbow; and as I saw them I felt Strapper’s grab on my arm and Squinty’s on my pistol. The Foreman He’s shammin mad: that’s what he is. Ain’t it about time to give a verdict and have a bit of fun, Sheriff? The Boys Yes, let’s have a verdict. We’re wasting the whole afternoon. Cut it short. The Sheriff Making up his mind. Swear Feemy Evans, Elder. She don’t need to touch the Book. Let her say the words. Feemy Worse people than me has kissed that Book. What wrong I’ve done, most of you went shares in. I’ve to live, haven’t I? same as the rest of you. However, it makes no odds to me. I guess the truth is the truth and a lie is a lie, on the Book or off it. Babsy Do as you’re told. Who are you, to be let talk about it? The Sheriff Silence there, I tell you. Sail ahead, Elder. Elder Daniels Feemy Evans: do you swear to tell the truth and the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God. Feemy I do, so help me⁠— The Sheriff That’s enough. Now, on your oath, did you see the prisoner on my horse this morning on the road to Pony Harbor? Feemy On my oath⁠—Disturbance and crowding at the door. At the Door Now then, now then! Where are you shovin to? What’s up? Order in court. Chuck him out. Silence. You can’t come in here. Keep back. Strapper rushes to the door and forces his way out. The Sheriff Savagely. What’s this noise? Can’t you keep quiet there? Is this a Sheriff’s court or is it a saloon? Blanco Don’t interrupt a lady in the act of hanging a gentleman. Where’s your manners? Feemy I’ll hang you, Blanco Posnet. I will. I wouldn’t for fifty dollars hadn’t seen you this morning. I’ll teach you to be civil to me next time, for all I’m not good enough to kiss the Book. Blanco Lord keep me wicked till I die! I’m game for anything while you’re spitting dirt at me, Feemy. Renewed Tumult at the Door Here, what’s this? Fire them out. Not me. Who are you that I should get out of your way? Oh, stow it. Well, she can’t come in. What woman? What horse? What’s the good of shoving like that? Who says? No! you don’t say! The Sheriff Gentlemen of the Vigilance Committee: clear that doorway. Out with them in the name of the law. Strapper Without. Hold hard, George. At the door. They’ve got the horse. He comes in, followed by Wagoner Jo, an elderly carter, who crosses the court to the jury side. Strapper pushes his way to the Sheriff and speaks privately to him. The Boys What! No! Got the horse! Sheriff’s horse! Who took it, then? Where? Get out. Yes it is, sure. I tell you it is. It’s the horse all right enough. Rot. Go and look. By Gum! The Sheriff To Strapper. You don’t say! Strapper It’s here, I tell you. Wagoner Jo It’s here all right enough, Sheriff. Strapper And they’ve got the thief too. Elder Daniels Then it ain’t Blanco. Strapper No: it’s a woman. Blanco yells and covers his eyes with his hands. The Whole Crowd A woman! The Sheriff Well, fetch her in. Strapper goes out. The Sheriff continues, to Feemy. And what do you mean, you lying jade, by putting