If that I speak after my fantasy,
To takë nought agrief1809 what I may say;
For mine intent is only for to play.—
Now, Sirs, then will I tell you forth my tale.
As ever may I drinkë wine or ale
I shall say sooth; the husbands that I had
Three of them werë good, and two were bad.
The three were goodë men, and rich, and old.
Unnethës1810 mightë they the statute hold1811
In which that they were bounden unto me.
Yet wot well what I mean of this, pardie.1812
As God me help, I laugh when that I think
How piteously at night I made them swink,1813
But, by my fay,1814 I told of it no store:1815
They had me giv’n their land and their treasór,
Me needed not do longer diligence
To win their love, or do them reverence.
They loved me so well, by God above,
That I toldë no dainty1816 of their love.
A wise woman will busy her ever-in-one1817
To get their lovë, where that she hath none.
But, since I had them wholly in my hand,
And that they had me given all their land,
Why should I takë keep1818 them for to please,
But1819 it were for my profit, or mine ease?
I set them so a-workë, by my fay,
That many a night they sangë, well-away!
The bacon was not fetched for them, I trow,
That some men have in Essex at Dunmow.1820
I govern’d them so well after my law,
That each of them full blissful was and fawe1821
To bringë me gay thingës from the fair.
They were full glad when that I spake them fair,
For, God it wot, I chid them spiteously.1822
Now hearken how I bare me properly.
Ye wisë wivës, that can understand,
Thus should ye speak, and bear them wrong on hand,1823
For half so boldëly can there no man
Swearen and lien as a woman can.
(I say not this by wivës that be wise,
But if it be when they them misadvise.)1824
A wisë wife, if that she can1825 her good,
Shall bearë them on hand the cow is wood,1826
And takë witness of her owen maid
Of their assent: but hearken how I said.
“Sir oldë kaynard,1827 is this thine array?
Why is my neighëbourë’s wife so gay?
She is honour’d over all where1828 she go’th,
I sit at home, I have no thrifty cloth.1829
What dost thou at my neighëbourë’s house?
Is she so fair? art thou so amoroús?
What rown’st1830 thou with our maid? ben’dicite,
Sir oldë lechour, let thy japës1831 be.
And if I have a gossip, or a friend
(Withoutë guilt), thou chidest as a fiend,
If that I walk or play unto his house.
Thou comest home as drunken as a mouse,
And preachest on thy bench, with evil prefe:1832
Thou say’st to me, it is a great mischief
To wed a poorë woman, for costáge:1833
And if that she be rich, of high paráge,1834
Then say’st thou, that it is a tormentry
To suffer her pride and meláncholy.
And if that she be fair, thou very knave,
Thou say’st that every holour1835 will her have;
She may no while in chastity abide,
That is assailed upon every side.
Thou say’st some folk desire us for richéss,
Some for our shape, and some for our fairness,
And some, for she can either sing or dance,
And some for gentiless and dalliance,
Some for her handës and her armës smale:
Thus goes all to the devil, by thy tale;
Thou say’st, men may not keep a castle wall
That may be so assailed over all.1836
And if that she be foul, thou say’st that she
Coveteth every man that she may see;
For as a spaniel she will on him leap,
Till she may findë some man her to cheap;1837
And none so grey goose goes there in the lake,
(So say’st thou) that will be without a make.1838
And say’st, it is a hard thing for to weld1839
A thing that no man will, his thankës,1840 held.1841
Thus say’st thou, lorel,1842 when thou go’st to bed,
And that no wise man needeth for to wed,
Nor no man that intendeth unto heaven.
With wildë thunder dint1843 and fiery leven1844
Motë1845 thy wicked neckë be to-broke.
Thou say’st, that dropping houses, and eke smoke,
And chiding wivës, makë men to flee
Out of their owne house; ah! ben’dicite,
What aileth such an old man for to chide?
Thou say’st, we wivës will our vices hide,
Till we be fast,1846 and then we will them shew.
Well may that be a proverb of a shrew.1847
Thou say’st, that oxen, asses, horses, hounds,
They be assayed at diversë stounds,1848
Basons and lavers, ere that men them buy,
Spoonës, stoolës, and all such husbandry,
And so be pots, and clothës, and array,1849
But folk of wivës makë none assay,
Till they be wedded—oldë dotard shrew!—
And then, say’st thou, we will our vices shew.
Thou say’st also, that it displeaseth me,
But if1850 that thou wilt praisë my beauty,
And but1851 thou pore alway upon my face,
And call me fairë dame in every place;
And but1852 thou make a feast on thilkë1853 day
That I was born, and make me fresh and gay;
And but thou do to my norice1854 honoúr,
And to my chamberere1855 within my bow’r,
And to my father’s folk, and mine allies;1856
Thus sayest thou, old barrel full of lies.
And yet also of our prentice Jenkin,
For his crisp hair, shining as gold so fine,
And for he squireth me both up and down,
Yet hast thou caught a false suspicioún:
I will him not, though thou wert dead to-morrow.
But tell me this, why hidest thou, with
