The keyës of thy chest away from me?
It is my good1858 as well as thine, pardie.
What, think’st to make an idiot of our dame?
Now, by that lord that callëd is Saint Jame,1859
Thou shalt not both, although that thou wert wood,1860
Be master of my body, and my good,
The one thou shalt forego, maugré1861 thine eyen.
What helpeth it of me t’ inquire and spyen?
I trow thou wouldest lock me in thy chest.
Thou shouldest say, ‘Fair wife, go where thee lest;1862
Take your disport; I will believe no tales;
I know you for a true wife, Dame Ales.’1863
“We love no man, that taketh keep1864 or charge
Where that we go; we will be at our large.
Of allë men most blessed may he be,
The wise astrologer Dan1865 Ptolemy,
That saith this proverb in his Almagest:
‘Of allë men his wisdom is highést,
That recketh not who hath the world in hand.’
By this proverb thou shalt well understand,
Have thou enough, what thar1866 thee reck or care
How merrily that other folkës fare?
For certes, oldë dotard, by your leave,
Ye shall have [pleasure] right enough at eve.
He is too great a niggard that will werne1867
A man to light a candle at his lantérn;
He shall have never the less light, pardie.
Have thou enough, thee thar1868 not plainë1869 thee.
Thou say’st also, if that we make us gay
With clothing and with precious array,
That it is peril of our chastity.
And yet—with sorrow!—thou enforcest thee,
And say’st these words in the apostle’s name:
‘In habit made with chastity and shame1870
Ye women shall apparel you,’ quoth he,
‘And not in tressed hair and gay perrie,1871
As pearlës, nor with gold, nor clothës rich.’
After thy text nor after thy rubrich
I will not work as muchel as a gnat.
Thou say’st also, I walk out like a cat;
For whoso wouldë singe the cattë’s skin
Then will the cattë well dwell in her inn;1872
And if the cattë’s skin be sleek and gay,
She will not dwell in housë half a day,
But forth she will, ere any day be daw’d,
To shew her skin, and go a caterwaw’d.1873
This is to say, if I be gay, sir shrew,
I will run out, my borel1874 for to shew.
Sir oldë fool, what helpeth thee to spyen?
Though thou pray Argus with his hundred eyen
To be my wardécorps,1875 as he can best,
In faith he shall not keep me, but me lest:1876
Yet could I make his beard,1877 so may I thé.1878
“Thou sayest eke, that there be thingës three,
Which thingës greatly trouble all this earth,
And that no wightë may endure the ferth:1879
O lefe1880 sir shrew, may Jesus short1881 thy life.
Yet preachest thou, and say’st, a hateful wife
Y-reckon’d is for one of these mischances.
Be there none other manner resemblánces1882
That ye may liken your parables unto,
But if a silly wife be one of tho?1883
Thou likenest a woman’s love to hell;
To barren land where water may not dwell.
Thou likenest it also to wild fire;
The more it burns, the more it hath desire
To cónsume every thing that burnt will be.
Thou sayest, right as wormës shend1884 a tree,
Right so a wife destroyeth her husbond;
This know they well that be to wivës bond.”
Lordings, right thus, as ye have understand,
Bare I stiffly mine old husbands on hand,1885
That thus they saiden in their drunkenness;
And all was false, but that I took witness
On Jenkin, and upon my niece also.
O Lord! the pain I did them, and the woe,
Full guiltëless, by Goddë’s sweetë pine;1886
For as a horse I couldë bite and whine;
I couldë plain,1887 an’1888 I was in the guilt,
Or ellës oftentime I had been spilt.1889
Whoso first cometh to the nilll, first grint;1890
I plained first, so was our war y-stint.1891
They were full glad to excuse them full blive1892
Of things that they never aguilt their live.1893
Of wenches would I bearë them on hand,1894
When that for sickness scarcely might they stand,
Yet tickled I his heartë for that he
Ween’d1895 that I had of him so great cherté:1896
I swore that all my walking out by night
Was for to éspy wenches that he dight:1897
Under that colour had I many a mirth.
For all such wit is given us at birth;
Deceit, weeping, and spinning, God doth give
To women kindly,1898 while that they may live.
And thus of one thing I may vauntë me,
At th’ end I had the better in each degree,
By sleight, or force, or by some manner thing,
As by continual murmur or grudging,1899
Namely1900 a-bed, there haddë they mischance,
There would I chide, and do them no pleasance:
I would no longer in the bed abide,
If that I felt his arm over my side,
Till he had made his ransom unto me,
Then would I suffer him do his nicetý.1901
And therefore every man this tale I tell,
Win whoso may, for all is for to sell;
With empty hand men may no hawkës lure;
For winning would I all his will endure,
And makë me a feigned appetite—
And yet in bacon1902 had I never delight:
That made me that I ever would them chide.
For, though the Pope had sitten them beside,
I would not spare them at their owen board,
For, by my troth, I quit1903 them word for word.
As help me very God omnipotent,
Though I right now should make my testament,
I owe them not a word, that is not quit,
I brought it so aboutë by my wit,
That they must give it up, as for the best,
Or ellës had we never been in rest.
For, though he looked
