When the first burst of maternal tenderness was over, I besought her to declare, by what means she had been united to a man whose principles seemed so totally discordant with her own. She bent her eyes downwards, and wiped a few tears from her cheek.
“Gentlemen,” said she after a silence of some minutes, “I would request a favour of you: you have a right to know on whom you confer an obligation. I will not therefore stifle a confession which covers me with shame; but permit me to comprise it in as few words as possible.
“I was born in Strasbourg of respectable parents; their names I must at present conceal: my father still lives, and deserves not to be involved in my infamy; if you grant my request, you shall be informed of my family name. A villain made himself master of my affections, and to follow him I quitted my father’s house. Yet though my passions overpowered my virtue, I sank not into that degeneracy of vice, but too commonly the lot of women who make the first false step. I loved my seducer; dearly loved him! I was true to his bed; this baby, and the youth who warned you, my lord baron, of your lady’s danger, are the pledges of our affection. Even at this moment I lament his loss, though ’tis to him that I owe all the miseries of my existence.
“He was of noble birth, but he had squandered away his paternal inheritance. His relations considered him as a disgrace to their name, and utterly discarded him. His excesses drew upon him the indignation of the police. He was obliged to fly from Strasbourg, and saw no other resource from beggary than an union with the banditti who infested the neighbouring forest, and whose troop was chiefly composed of young men of family in the same predicament with himself. I was determined not to forsake him. I followed him to the cavern of the brigands, and shared with him the misery inseparable from a life of pillage. But though I was aware that our existence was supported by plunder, I knew not all the horrible circumstances attached to my lover’s profession. These he concealed from me with the utmost care; he was conscious that my sentiments were not sufficiently depraved to look without horror upon assassination: he supposed, and with justice, that I should fly with detestation from the embraces of a murderer. Eight years of possession had not abated his love for me; and he cautiously removed from my knowledge every circumstance, which might lead me to suspect the crimes in which he but too often participated. He succeeded perfectly: it was not till after my seducer’s death, that I discovered his hands to have been stained with the blood of innocence.
“One fatal night he was brought back to the cavern covered with wounds: he received them in attacking an English traveller, whom his companions immediately sacrificed to their resentment. He had only time to entreat my pardon for all the sorrows which he had caused me: he pressed my hand to his lips, and expired. My grief was inexpressible. As soon as its violence abated, I resolved to return to Strasbourg, to throw myself with my two children at my father’s feet, and implore his forgiveness, though I little hoped to obtain it. What was my consternation when informed that no one entrusted with the secret of their retreat was ever permitted to quit the troop of the banditti; that I must give up all hopes of ever rejoining society, and consent instantly to accepting one of their band for my husband! My prayers and remonstrances were vain. They cast lots to decide to whose possession I should fall; I became the property of the infamous Baptiste. A robber, who had once been a monk, pronounced over us a burlesque rather than a religious ceremony: I and my children were delivered into the hands of my new husband, and he conveyed us immediately to his home.
“He assured me that he had long entertained for me the most ardent regard; but that friendship for my deceased lover had obliged him to stifle his desires. He endeavoured to reconcile me to my fate, and for some time treated me with respect and gentleness: at length finding that my aversion rather increased than diminished, he obtained those favours by violence, which I persisted to refuse him. No resource remained for me but to bear my sorrows with patience; I was conscious that I deserved them but too well. Flight was forbidden: my children were in the power of Baptiste, and he had sworn that if I attempted to escape, their lives should pay for it. I had had too many opportunities of witnessing the barbarity of his nature to doubt his fulfilling his oath to the very letter. Sad experience had convinced me of the horrors of my situation: my first lover had carefully concealed them from me; Baptiste rather rejoiced in opening my eyes to the cruelties of his profession, and strove to familiarise me with blood and slaughter.
“My nature was licentious and warm, but not cruel: my conduct had been imprudent, but my heart was not unprincipled. Judge then what I must have felt at being a continual witness of crimes the most horrible and revolting! Judge how I must have grieved at being united to a man who received the unsuspecting guest with an air of openness and hospitality, at the very moment that he meditated his destruction. Chagrin and discontent preyed upon my constitution: the few charms bestowed on me by nature withered away, and the dejection of my countenance denoted the sufferings of my heart. I was tempted a
