“Applause may be permitted even in the Mosque or the most sacred of Shrines, but not in the august presence of the law. Yet it was with difficulty that the enraptured pleaders present, the scriveners and their attendants, could forbear from open praise. A man whom I did not know and who sat next to me, cross-legged, upon his mat, one of the pleaders, I think (for he also wore the mule skin with long, furry ears upon his head), muttered to me that it was the finest opening he had heard since Achmet had opened for the Sheik-ul-Musrim in the Oyster Case, and that was saying a great deal.
“When this great pleader had sat down there was a complete silence in court, which lasted for some time and seemed to me a little embarrassing. At last I perceived that I was in some way the object of too much attention, and my friend the scrivener leant over with the suggestion that I should call my witnesses. ‘But I have none,’ whispered I over my shoulder in great trepidation. ‘I have my charter. That is enough, is it not?’
“The scrivener shrugged his shoulders as though in despair, and left me to my fate.
“Then was it that I heard the voice of the great judge booming into my ears. ‘What evidence is there for the plaintiff?’
“I rose trembling. ‘I have given you all I have, Your Holiness.’
“ ‘You have given me none,’ thundered that tremendous personage. ‘All you have done is to make an opening plea.’
“ ‘I thought,’ stammered I, ‘that I had stated all that I had to state.’
“The judge glanced round at his fellow lawyers with a look of despair, then leaning forward, with a sort of tenderness in his tone, he said: ‘Be good enough to mount the Sacred Stool reserved for the witnesses.’ With that a little block of wood was brought forward, and upon it I mounted, and so stood conscious and foolish before the court.
“His Holiness the Judge leaned back on his throne and surveyed me with the contempt I deserved, nor did he repress the little titter that ran through the assembly. An official squatted in front of the throne put a scroll into my hand, bade me put it to my forehead and repeat after him certain words, the sense of which I lost in my perturbation. But I did as I was bidden. After that I remained dumb. ‘Well,’ said His Holiness, sharply, after a long pause, ‘how much longer are we to wait?’
“ ‘Pray, your Godship, what would you have?’ said I.
“ ‘I would have your evidence,’ said the judge.
“ ‘I have no evidence to give,’ I tremblingly replied, ‘save what you have already heard.’
“ ‘I have heard none,’ said he, and again the titter went round the court.
“Moved to action, I repeated exactly what I had said before, that the words were what they were in the charter, the clause was what it was. I repeated it point by point.
“The judge turned to the pleader who had just sat down and said: ‘Now, brother Selim,’ whereupon my former friend and guest rose, looked me up and down in a very offensive manner from head to foot three or four times, and cried:
“ ‘You drunken scoundrel! Do you still maintain the abominable falsehood which you have had the insolence to lay before the court?’
“I said there was no falsehood, but the truth.
“ ‘The truth!’ he sneered. ‘Remember, pray, that you have taken an oath in the name of the Scroll, and trivial as this may seem to a man of your depraved character, others take the matter more seriously.’
“I stood silent under the rebuke and waited his further words.
“ ‘Well, well,’ said he suddenly, ‘where were you half an hour after sunrise on the fourth day of the Fast of Ramadan in the three hundred and seventh year from the Flight of the Prophet?’
“As I stood aghast at the question, he touched one hand significantly with the finger of the other and said, ‘I do not wish to press you.’
“ ‘I have not the least idea,’ said I.
“The pleader glanced significantly at the judge and then continued:
“ ‘You haven’t the least idea? Can you tell me approximately where you were?’
“ ‘No, I cannot,’ said I. ‘It is very long ago, and I was but a young and innocent child.’
“Here the judge interrupted me sharply: ‘We are not concerned with your young and innocent childhood. Answer the question, if you please, and make no speeches.’
“The pleader consulted his notes, looked up to me again and said: ‘You have told us the charter was signed in your presence and delivered over to you.’
“ ‘Yes,’ said I.
“ ‘Don’t answer,’ interrupted His Holiness, sharply, ‘until you are asked a question.’
“ ‘No,’ said I.
“ ‘Take great care, witness,’ said His Holiness in a menacing voice. ‘Take very great care!’
“ ‘Thank You, your Holiness,’ said the pleader. ‘And now, sir,’ said he, addressing me in a very firm tone indeed, as though he had caught red-handed some thief creeping in to his household, ‘will you please tell us where is that charter now? Can you produce it?’
“ ‘His Holiness is sitting on it,’ said I, simply.
“Here the judge almost rose from his throne, so strongly was he moved.
“ ‘Were you not a layman and naturally ignorant of the forms of the court, I should condemn you to some very severe penalty,’ said he. ‘I make allowance for your lack of custom; but I warn you, you may go too far.’
“ ‘I will pass over the last remark, witness,’ continued the pleader in dignified tones. ‘I think you were not quite yourself when you made it. Will you be good enough to answer my question? Where is the charter now?’
“ ‘Well,’
