“I returned to my little block of wood, faced the place I had just occupied and said:
“ ‘I handed it up to His Holiness.’
“The judge then spoke. ‘I have had enough of this and I refuse to waste the time of the court longer. It is in my power to condemn you to the king’s dungeons forever, and I may say that never in my long experience of our august courts have I come across anything to parallel your repeated insolence. I have already told you that you have not proved your document and therefore for the purposes of this court it does not exist. Stand down.’
“The words ‘stand down’ signify in the technical language of this great people ‘sit down,’ and can only be disobeyed under the most fearful penalties. I at once obeyed and resumed my place cross-legged upon the mat.
“The judge was now free to give his decision, but first he turned to the pleader who had opposed me and said in the most genial tones:
“ ‘Brother Selim, you have, I take it, proved your document, especially the word “and”?’
“ ‘Oh, yes, my lord,’ answered he, in a satisfied manner. ‘I have further interpleaded for secondary and excised the four principal terminants, all of which are duly stamped, passed, filed, recorded, exuded, denoted, permuted, polluted and redeemed.’ To each of these words the judge nodded with greater and greater content, and then asked:
“ ‘Do you call any further witnesses, brother Selim?’
“ ‘I call none,’ replied the eminent man, ‘for if I do the vile plaintiff would have an opportunity of cross-examining them and that would give away my whole case.’
“ ‘I think you have done wisely,’ said His Holiness, by way of an obiter dictum. ‘Things shall therefore turn upon the charter alone.’ With these words I perceived by the rustle all about me that the last phase of the trial had come and that my fate was sealed. I thought I had observed in the manner of its conduct I will not say a bias, but a sort of atmosphere unfavourable to my claims; for though it was impossible to conceive that any personal or other feeling could affect His Holiness’s mind, yet I dreaded his decision. None the less I awaited that decision with some interest, for, after all, nothing is certain until it is concluded.
“The judge put down his crown, assumed a headgear which resembled that of the Special pleaders but gilded, and with the interior of the long furry ears carefully painted in silver by way of contrast; for such the Custom of the Law demands when a decision is about to be delivered.
“He spoke:
“ ‘From the evidence that has been laid before me it is clear that there exists, or has existed, will exist, or may exist, or can exist or at some other time existed, demurrer notwithstanding, some charter wherein the word and is the point at issue. That form was admitted by the defence, I think?’ All the pleaders rose and bowed and then again were seated upon their carpets. ‘But I gather’ (and here he looked sternly at me) ‘that there was no acceptance by the plaintiff. We have, I take it, an operative clause wherein the operative word is and. “And so long as the salt tax endures.” Many points brought forward in defence of the Crown I am compelled to overlook. It is the glory of our courts of justice that they exercise an absolutely evenhanded dealing between man and man, and that His Majesty himself is bound by their decisions.’ (Here there was a murmur of applause which was instantly suppressed.) ‘I make therefore so bold as to say that the Counsel engaged by His Majesty on this occasion have said many things with which I do not agree and others which I shall not take into account. It is equally clear that the case presented by the plaintiff is, as he put it, no case at all, and that were I to rely, as I shall not, upon the strict forms of law, he is already out of court.’ At this all looked severely on me and I felt my stature singularly diminished, and crouched lower upon my mat. His Holiness continued:
“ ‘I shall treat this matter as though I had heard no pleadings upon either side, for this I take to be the true attitude of a judge concerned with justice alone. We have, then, this operative “and …” this decisive word “and.” ’ Here His Holiness leaned back on his throne, cast his eyes upwards towards the rich arabesques of the ceiling, sighed and continued:
“ ‘The word and is among the most significant of our ancient, glorious language. It has been used upon innumerable occasions. Our industrial classes, our nobility and even our middle classes, as well as the poor in their humble station, are compelled to its continual expression. It is, if I may so express myself, part of the heritage of our race. He would indeed be poor in spirit, and weak in his allegiance to the imperial traditions of this island,’ continued His Holiness, warming to his subject, ‘did he not appreciate the majesty, the significance, the grandeur upon occasions, the full effect and indeed the awful weight of this little word,’ and here he dropped his voice, ‘ “and.” ‘ “And so long as the salt tax …” etc. That is the point. And … I trust I have made myself clear.’
“All heads nodded in unison, while a song in adoration of His Holiness was sung by an acolyte who entered at this stage of the proceedings (as is customary in courts of law), and a hidden chorus, distant, but just heard, added a short canticle of praise. His Holiness waited for the conclusion of these ceremonies, which are invariably interpolated during any important judgment, and then continued:
“ ‘And so long,’ ‘What is the significance of that word “and”? I take it that it is affirmative, negative, copulative and restrictive; but that is—not all. I think it is also constructive,
