Love’s Labour’s Lost

it is to put “years” to the word “three,” and study three years in two words, the dancing horse will tell you. Armado A most fine figure! Moth To prove you a cipher. Armado I will hereupon confess I am in love: and as it is base for a soldier to love, so am I in love with a base wench. If drawing my sword against the humour of affection would deliver me from the reprobate thought of it, I would take Desire prisoner, and ransom him to any French courtier for a new-devised courtesy. I think scorn to sigh: methinks I should outswear Cupid. Comfort me, boy: what great men have been in love? Moth Hercules, master. Armado Most sweet Hercules! More authority, dear boy, name more; and, sweet my child, let them be men of good repute and carriage. Moth Samson, master: he was a man of good carriage, great carriage, for he carried the town-gates on his back like a porter: and he was in love. Armado O well-knit Samson! strong-jointed Samson! I do excel thee in my rapier as much as thou didst me in carrying gates. I am in love too. Who was Samson’s love, my dear Moth? Moth A woman, master. Armado Of what complexion? Moth Of all the four, or the three, or the two, or one of the four. Armado Tell me precisely of what complexion. Moth Of the sea-water green, sir. Armado Is that one of the four complexions? Moth As I have read, sir; and the best of them too. Armado Green indeed is the colour of lovers; but to have a love of that colour, methinks Samson had small reason for it. He surely affected her for her wit. Moth It was so, sir; for she had a green wit. Armado My love is most immaculate white and red. Moth Most maculate thoughts, master, are masked under such colours. Armado Define, define, well-educated infant. Moth My father’s wit and my mother’s tongue, assist me! Armado Sweet invocation of a child; most pretty and pathetical! Moth

If she be made of white and red,
Her faults will ne’er be known,
For blushing cheeks by faults are bred
And fears by pale white shown:
Then if she fear, or be to blame,
By this you shall not know,
For still her cheeks possess the same
Which native she doth owe.

A dangerous rhyme, master, against the reason of white and red.

Armado Is there not a ballad, boy, of the King and the Beggar? Moth The world was very guilty of such a ballad some three ages since: but I think now ’tis not to be found; or, if it were, it would neither serve for the writing nor the tune. Armado I will have that subject newly writ o’er, that I may example my digression by some mighty precedent. Boy, I do love that country girl that I took in the park with the rational hind Costard: she deserves well. Moth Aside. To be whipped; and yet a better love than my master. Armado Sing, boy; my spirit grows heavy in love. Moth And that’s great marvel, loving a light wench. Armado I say, sing. Moth Forbear till this company be past. Enter Dull, Costard, and Jaquenetta. Dull Sir, the duke’s pleasure is, that you keep Costard safe: and you must suffer him to take no delight nor no penance; but a’ must fast three days a week. For this damsel, I must keep her at the park: she is allowed for the day-woman. Fare you well. Armado I do betray myself with blushing. Maid! Jaquenetta Man? Armado I will visit thee at the lodge. Jaquenetta That’s hereby. Armado I know where it is situate. Jaquenetta Lord, how wise you are! Armado I will tell thee wonders. Jaquenetta With that face? Armado I love thee. Jaquenetta So I heard you say. Armado And so, farewell. Jaquenetta Fair weather after you! Dull Come, Jaquenetta, away! Exeunt Dull and Jaquenetta. Armado Villain, thou shalt fast for thy offences ere thou be pardoned. Costard Well, sir, I hope, when I do it, I shall do it on a full stomach. Armado Thou shalt be heavily punished. Costard I am more bound to you than your fellows, for they are but lightly rewarded. Armado Take away this villain; shut him up. Moth Come, you transgressing slave; away! Costard Let me not be pent up, sir: I will fast, being loose. Moth No, sir; that were fast and loose: thou shalt to prison. Costard Well, if ever I do see the merry days of desolation that I have seen, some shall see. Moth What shall some see? Costard Nay, nothing, Master Moth, but what they look upon. It is not for prisoners to be too silent in their words; and therefore I will say nothing: I thank God I have as little patience as another man; and therefore I can be quiet. Exeunt Moth and Costard. Armado I do affect the very ground, which is base, where her shoe, which is baser, guided by her foot, which is basest, doth tread. I shall be forsworn, which is a great argument of falsehood, if I love. And how can that be true love which is falsely attempted? Love is a familiar; Love is a devil: there is no evil angel but Love. Yet was Samson so tempted, and he had an excellent strength; yet was Solomon so seduced, and he had a very good wit. Cupid’s butt-shaft is too hard for Hercules’ club; and therefore too much odds for a Spaniard’s rapier. The first and second cause will not serve my turn; the passado he respects not, the duello he regards not: his disgrace is to be called boy; but his glory is to subdue men. Adieu, valour! rust rapier! be still, drum! for your manager is in love; yea, he loveth. Assist me, some extemporal god of rhyme, for I am sure I shall turn sonnet. Devise, wit; write, pen; for I am for whole volumes in folio. Exit.

Act II

Scene I

The same.

	Enter the Princess of France, Rosaline, Maria, Katharine, Boyet, Lords, and other Attendants.