The Golden Ass

The residue of the day I passed away at the baines and in banqueting, and towards evening I went to supper, for I was bid by Milo, and so I sat down at the table, out of Pamphiles’ sight as much as I could, being mindful of the commandment of Byrrhena, and sometimes I would cast mine eyes upon her as upon the Furies of hell, but I eftsoons turning my face behind me, and beholding my Fotis ministering at the table, was again refreshed and made merry. And behold when Pamphiles did see the candle standing on the table, she said, Verily we shall have much rain tomorrow. Which when her husband did hear, he demanded of her by what reason she knew it? Marry (quoth she) the light on the table showeth the same. Then Milo laughed and said, Verily we nourish a sibyl prophesier, which by the view of a candle doth divine of celestial things, and of the sun itself. Then I mused in my mind and said unto Milo, Of truth it is a good experience and proof of divination. Neither is it any marvel, for although this light is but a small light, and made by the hands of men, yet hath it a remembrance of that great and heavenly light, as of his parent, and doth show unto us what will happen in the skies above. For I knew at Corinth a certain man of Assyria, who would give answers in every part of the city, and for the gain of money would tell every man his fortune, to some he would tell the days of their marriages, to others he would tell when they should build, that their edifices should continue. To others, when they should best go about their affairs. To others, when they should go by sea or land: to me, purposing to take my journey hither, he declared many things strange and variable. For sometimes he said that I should win glory enough: sometimes he said I should write a great history: sometimes again he said that I should devise an incredible tale: and sometimes that I should make books. Whereat Milo laughed again, and inquired of me, of what stature this man of Assyria was, and what he was named. In faith (quoth I) he is a tall man and somewhat black, and he is called Diophanes. Then said Milo, the same is he and no other, who similarly hath declared many things here unto us, whereby he got and obtained great substance and treasure.

But the poor miser fell at length into the hands of unpitiful and cruel fortune: for being on a day amongst a great assembly of people, to tell the simple sort their fortune, a certain cobbler came unto him, and desired him to tell when it should be best for him to take his voyage, the which he promised to do: the cobbler opened his purse and told a hundred pence to him for his pains. Whereupon came a certain young gentleman and took Diophanes by the garment. Then he turning himself, embraced and kissed him, and desired the gentleman, who was one of his acquaintance, to sit down by him: and Diophanes being astonied with this sudden change, forgot what he was doing, and said, Oh dear friend you are heartily welcome, I pray you when arrived you into these parts? Then answered he, I will tell you soon, but brother I pray you tell me of your coming from the isle of Euboea, and how you sped by the way? Whereunto Diophanes this notable Assyrian (not yet come unto his mind, but half amazed) soon answered and said, I would to God that all our enemies and evil willers might fall into the like dangerous peregrination and trouble. For the ship where we were in, after it was by the waves of the seas and by the great tempests tossed hither and thither, in great peril, and after that the mast and stern brake likewise in pieces, could in nowise be brought to shore, but sunk into the water, and so we did swim, and hardly escaped to land. And after that, whatsoever was given unto us in recompense of our losses, either by the pity of strangers, or by the benevolence of our friends, was taken away from us by thieves, whose violence when my brother Arisuatus did assay to resist, he was cruelly murdered by them before my face. These things when he had sadly declared, the cobbler took up his money again which he had told out to pay for the telling of his fortune, and ran away. Then Diophanes coming to himself perceived what he had done, and we all that stood by laughed greatly. But that (quoth Milo) which Diophanes did tell unto you Lucius, that you should be happy and have a prosperous journey, was only true. Thus Milo reasoned with me. But I was not a little sorry that I had trained him into such a vein of talk, that I lost a good part of the night, and the sweet pleasure thereof: but at length I boldly said to Milo, Let Diophanes fare well with his evil fortune, and get again that which he lost by sea and land, for I verily do yet feel the weariness of my travel, whereof I pray you pardon me, and give me licence to depart to bed: wherewithal I rose up and went unto my chamber, where I found all things finely prepared and the children’s bed (because they should not hear what we did in the night) was removed far-off without the chamber door. The table was all covered with those meats that were left at supper, the cups were filled half full with water, to temper and delay the wines, the flagon stood ready prepared, and there lacked nothing that was necessary for the preparation of Venus. And when I was entering into