The Golden Ass

our death, and how they might be revenged; diverse was the opinions of this diverse number: the first said, that he thought best the maid should be burned alive: the second said she should be thrown out to wild beasts: the third said, she should be hanged upon a gibbet: the fourth said she should be flayed alive: thus was the death of the poor maiden scanned between them four. But one of the thieves after every man had declared his judgment, did speak in this manner: it is not convenient unto the oath of our company, to suffer you to wax more cruel than the quality of the offence doth merit, for I would that she should not be hanged nor burned, nor thrown to beasts, nor die any sudden death, but by my council I would have her punished according to her desert. You know well what you have determined already of this dull ass, that eateth more than he is worth, that faineth lameness, and that was the cause of the flying away of the maid: my mind is that he shall be slain tomorrow, and when all the guts and entrails of his body is taken out, let the maid be sewn into his belly, then let us lay them upon a great stone against the broiling heat of the sun, so they shall both sustain all the punishments which you have ordained: for first the ass shall be slain as you have determined, and she shall have her members torn and gnawn with wild beasts, when as she is bitten and rent with worms, she shall endure the pain of the fire, when as the broiling heat of the sun shall scorch and parch the belly of the ass, she shall abide the gallows when the dogs and vultures shall have the guts of her body hanging in their ravenous mouths. I pray you number all the torments which she shall suffer: first she shall dwell within the paunch of an ass: secondly her nostrils shall receive a carrion stink of the beast: thirdly she shall die for hunger: last of all, she shall find no mean to rid herself from her pains, for her hand shalt be sewn up within the skin of the ass: This being said, all the thieves consented, and when I (poor ass) heard and understood all their device, I did nothing else but lament and bewail my dead carcass, which should be handled in such sort on the next morrow.

Book VII

XXIV

How he that was left behind at Hippata did bring news concerning the robbery of Milo’s house, came home and declared to his company, that all the fault was laid to one Apuleius his charge.

A soon as night was past, and the clear chariot of the sun had spread his bright beams on every coast, came one of the company of the thieves, (for so his and their greeting together did declare) who at the first entry into the cave (after he had breathed himself, and was able to speak) told these tidings unto his companions in this sort. Sirs, as touching the house of Milo of Hippata, which we forcibly entered and ransacked the last day, we may put away all fear and doubt nothing at all. For after that ye by force of arms, had spoiled and taken away all things in the house, and returned hither into our cave; I (thrusting myself amongst the press of the people, and showing myself as though I were sad and sorrowful for the mischance) consulted with them for the boulting out of the matter, and devising what means might be wrought for the apprehension of the thieves, to the intent I might learn and see all that was done to make relation thereof unto you as you willed me, insomuch that the whole fact at length by manifest and evident proofs as also by the common opinion and judgment of the people, was laid to one Lucius Apuleius charge as manifest author of this common robbery, who a few days before by false and forged letters and coloured honesty, fell so far in favour with this Milo, that he entertained him into his house, and received him as a chief of his familiar friends, which Lucius after that he had sojourned there a good space, and won the heart of Milo’s maid, by feigned love, did thoroughly learn the ways and doors of all the house, and curiously viewed the coffers and chests, wherein was laid the whole substance of Milo: neither was there small cause given to judge him culpable, since as the very same night that this robbery was done he fled away, and could not be found in no place: and to the intent he might clean escape, and better prevent such as made hue and cry after him, he took his white horse and galloped away, and after this, his servant was found in the house, who (accused as accessary to the felony and escape of his master) was committed to the common gaol, and the next day following was cruelly scourged and tormented till he was well-nigh dead, to the intent he should confess the matter, but when they could wrest or learn no such thing of him, yet sent they many persons after, towards Lucius’ country to inquire him out, and so to take him prisoner. As he declared these things, I did greatly lament with myself, to think of mine old and pristine estate, and what felicity I was sometimes in, in comparison to the misery that I presently sustained, being changed into a miserable ass, then had I no small occasion to remember, how the old and ancient writers did affirm, that Fortune was stark blind without eyes, because she always bestoweth her riches upon evil persons, and fools, and chooseth or favoureth no mortal person by judgment, but is