A Woman of No Importance

Illingworth, I want to speak to you for a moment. Do come over. Lord Illingworth Will you excuse me, Mrs. Arbuthnot? Now, don’t let your charming mother make any more difficulties, Gerald. The thing is quite settled, isn’t it? Gerald I hope so. Lord Illingworth goes across to Mrs. Arbuthnot. Mrs. Allonby I thought you were never going to leave the lady in black velvet. Lord Illingworth She is excessively handsome. Looks at Mrs. Arbuthnot. Lady Hunstanton Caroline, shall we all make a move to the music-room? Miss Worsley is going to play. You’ll come too, dear Mrs. Arbuthnot, won’t you? You don’t know what a treat is in store for you. To Doctor Daubeny. I must really take Miss Worsley down some afternoon to the rectory. I should so much like dear Mrs. Daubeny to hear her on the violin. Ah, I forgot. Dear Mrs. Daubeny’s hearing is a little defective, is it not? The Archdeacon Her deafness is a great privation to her. She can’t even hear my sermons now. She reads them at home. But she has many resources in herself, many resources. Lady Hunstanton She reads a good deal, I suppose? The Archdeacon Just the very largest print. The eyesight is rapidly going. But she’s never morbid, never morbid. Gerald To Lord Illingworth. Do speak to my mother, Lord Illingworth, before you go into the music-room. She seems to think, somehow, you don’t mean what you said to me. Mrs. Allonby Aren’t you coming? Lord Illingworth In a few moments. Lady Hunstanton, if Mrs. Arbuthnot would allow me, I would like to say a few words to her, and we will join you later on. Lady Hunstanton Ah, of course. You will have a great deal to say to her, and she will have a great deal to thank you for. It is not every son who gets such an offer, Mrs. Arbuthnot. But I know you appreciate that, dear. Lady Caroline John! Lady Hunstanton Now, don’t keep Mrs. Arbuthnot too long, Lord Illingworth. We can’t spare her. Exit following the other guests. Sound of violin heard from music-room. Lord Illingworth So that is our son, Rachel! Well, I am very proud of him. He is a Harford, every inch of him. By the way, why Arbuthnot, Rachel? Mrs. Arbuthnot One name is as good as another, when one has no right to any name. Lord Illingworth I suppose so⁠—but why Gerald? Mrs. Arbuthnot After a man whose heart I broke⁠—after my father. Lord Illingworth Well, Rachel, what is over is over. All I have got to say now in that I am very, very much pleased with our boy. The world will know him merely as my private secretary, but to me he will be something very near, and very dear. It is a curious thing, Rachel; my life seemed to be quite complete. It was not so. It lacked something, it lacked a son. I have found my son now, I am glad I have found him. Mrs. Arbuthnot You have no right to claim him, or the smallest part of him. The boy is entirely mine, and shall remain mine. Lord Illingworth My dear Rachel, you have had him to yourself for over twenty years. Why not let me have him for a little now? He is quite as much mine as yours. Mrs. Arbuthnot Are you talking of the child you abandoned? Of the child who, as far as you are concerned, might have died of hunger and of want? Lord Illingworth You forget, Rachel, it was you who left me. It was not I who left you. Mrs. Arbuthnot I left you because you refused to give the child a name. Before my son was born, I implored you to marry me. Lord Illingworth I had no expectations then. And besides, Rachel, I wasn’t much older than you were. I was only twenty-two. I was twenty-one, I believe, when the whole thing began in your father’s garden. Mrs. Arbuthnot When a man is old enough to do wrong he should be old enough to do right also. Lord Illingworth My dear Rachel, intellectual generalities are always interesting, but generalities in morals mean absolutely nothing. As for saying I left our child to starve, that, of course, is untrue and silly. My mother offered you six hundred a year. But you wouldn’t take anything. You simply disappeared, and carried the child away with you. Mrs. Arbuthnot I wouldn’t have accepted a penny from her. Your father was different. He told you, in my presence, when we were in Paris, that it was your duty to marry me. Lord Illingworth Oh, duty is what one expects from others, it is not what one does oneself. Of course, I was influenced by my mother. Every man is when he is young. Mrs. Arbuthnot I am glad to hear you say so. Gerald shall certainly not go away with you. Lord Illingworth What nonsense, Rachel! Mrs. Arbuthnot Do you think I would allow my son⁠— Lord Illingworth Our son. Mrs. Arbuthnot My son Lord Illingworth shrugs his shoulders⁠—to go away with the man who spoiled my youth, who ruined my life, who has tainted every moment of my days? You don’t realise what my past has been in suffering and in shame. Lord Illingworth My dear Rachel, I must candidly say that I think Gerald’s future considerably more important than your past. Mrs. Arbuthnot Gerald cannot separate his future from my past. Lord Illingworth That is exactly what he should do. That is exactly what you should help him to do. What a typical woman you are! You talk sentimentally, and you are thoroughly selfish the whole time. But don’t let us have a scene. Rachel, I want you to look at this matter from the commonsense point of view, from the point of view of what is best for our son, leaving you and me out of the question. What is our son at present? An underpaid clerk in a small Provincial Bank in a third-rate English town. If you imagine he is quite happy in such a position, you