A Woman of No Importance

are mistaken. He is thoroughly discontented. Mrs. Arbuthnot He was not discontented till he met you. You have made him so. Lord Illingworth Of course, I made him so. Discontent is the first step in the progress of a man or a nation. But I did not leave him with a mere longing for things he could not get. No, I made him a charming offer. He jumped at it, I need hardly say. Any young man would. And now, simply because it turns out that I am the boy’s own father and he my own son, you propose practically to ruin his career. That is to say, if I were a perfect stranger, you would allow Gerald to go away with me, but as he is my own flesh and blood you won’t. How utterly illogical you are! Mrs. Arbuthnot I will not allow him to go. Lord Illingworth How can you prevent it? What excuse can you give to him for making him decline such an offer as mine? I won’t tell him in what relations I stand to him, I need hardly say. But you daren’t tell him. You know that. Look how you have brought him up. Mrs. Arbuthnot I have brought him up to be a good man. Lord Illingworth Quite so. And what is the result? You have educated him to be your judge if he ever finds you out. And a bitter, an unjust judge he will be to you. Don’t be deceived, Rachel. Children begin by loving their parents. After a time they judge them. Rarely, if ever, do they forgive them. Mrs. Arbuthnot George, don’t take my son away from me. I have had twenty years of sorrow, and I have only had one thing to love me, only one thing to love. You have had a life of joy, and pleasure, and success. You have been quite happy, you have never thought of us. There was no reason, according to your views of life, why you should have remembered us at all. Your meeting us was a mere accident, a horrible accident. Forget it. Don’t come now, and rob me of⁠ ⁠… of all I have in the whole world. You are so rich in other things. Leave me the little vineyard of my life; leave me the walled-in garden and the well of water; the ewe-lamb God sent me, in pity or in wrath, oh! leave me that. George, don’t take Gerald from me. Lord Illingworth Rachel, at the present moment you are not necessary to Gerald’s career; I am. There is nothing more to be said on the subject. Mrs. Arbuthnot I will not let him go. Lord Illingworth Here is Gerald. He has a right to decide for himself. Enter Gerald. Gerald Well, dear mother, I hope you have settled it all with Lord Illingworth? Mrs. Arbuthnot I have not, Gerald. Lord Illingworth Your mother seems not to like your coming with me, for some reason. Gerald Why, mother? Mrs. Arbuthnot I thought you were quite happy here with me, Gerald. I didn’t know you were so anxious to leave me. Gerald Mother, how can you talk like that? Of course I have been quite happy with you. But a man can’t stay always with his mother. No chap does. I want to make myself a position, to do something. I thought you would have been proud to see me Lord Illingworth’s secretary. Mrs. Arbuthnot I do not think you would be suitable as a private secretary to Lord Illingworth. You have no qualifications. Lord Illingworth I don’t wish to seem to interfere for a moment, Mrs. Arbuthnot, but as far as your last objection is concerned, I surely am the best judge. And I can only tell you that your son has all the qualifications I had hoped for. He has more, in fact, than I had even thought of. Far more. Mrs. Arbuthnot remains silent. Have you any other reason, Mrs. Arbuthnot, why you don’t wish your son to accept this post? Gerald Have you, mother? Do answer. Lord Illingworth If you have, Mrs. Arbuthnot, pray, pray say it. We are quite by ourselves here. Whatever it is, I need not say I will not repeat it. Gerald Mother? Lord Illingworth If you would like to be alone with your son, I will leave you. You may have some other reason you don’t wish me to hear. Mrs. Arbuthnot I have no other reason. Lord Illingworth Then, my dear boy, we may look on the thing as settled. Come, you and I will smoke a cigarette on the terrace together. And Mrs. Arbuthnot, pray let me tell you, that I think you have acted very, very wisely. Exit with Gerald. Mrs. Arbuthnot is left alone. She stands immobile with a look of unutterable sorrow on her face.

Act Drop

Act III

Scene: The picture gallery at Hunstanton. Door at back leading on to terrace.

	Lord Illingworth and Gerald, R.C. Lord Illingworth lolling on a sofa. Gerald in a chair.
Lord Illingworth	Thoroughly sensible woman, your mother, Gerald. I knew she would come round in the end.
Gerald	My mother is awfully conscientious, Lord Illingworth, and I know she doesn’t think I am educated enough to be your secretary. She is perfectly right, too. I was fearfully idle when I was at school, and I couldn’t pass an examination now to save my life.
Lord Illingworth	My dear Gerald, examinations are of no value whatsoever. If a man is a gentleman, he knows quite enough, and if he is not a gentleman, whatever he knows is bad for him.
Gerald	But I am so ignorant of the world, Lord Illingworth.
Lord Illingworth	Don’t be afraid, Gerald. Remember that you’ve got on your side the most wonderful thing in the world⁠—youth! There is nothing like youth. The middle-aged are mortgaged to Life. The old are in life’s lumber-room. But youth is the Lord of Life. Youth has a kingdom waiting for it. Everyone is born a king, and most people