A Woman of No Importance

sweet saint. Fresh natural flowers, books that don’t shock one, pictures that one can look at without blushing. Mrs. Allonby But I like blushing. Lady Hunstanton Well, there is a good deal to be said for blushing, if one can do it at the proper moment. Poor dear Hunstanton used to tell me I didn’t blush nearly often enough. But then he was so very particular. He wouldn’t let me know any of his men friends, except those who were over seventy, like poor Lord Ashton: who afterwards, by the way, was brought into the Divorce Court. A most unfortunate case. Mrs. Allonby I delight in men over seventy. They always offer one the devotion of a lifetime. I think seventy an ideal age for a man. Lady Hunstanton She is quite incorrigible, Gerald, isn’t she? By the by, Gerald, I hope your dear mother will come and see me more often now. You and Lord Illingworth start almost immediately, don’t you? Gerald I have given up my intention of being Lord Illingworth’s secretary. Lady Hunstanton Surely not, Gerald! It would be most unwise of you. What reason can you have? Gerald I don’t think I should be suitable for the post. Mrs. Allonby I wish Lord Illingworth would ask me to be his secretary. But he says I am not serious enough. Lady Hunstanton My dear, you really mustn’t talk like that in this house. Mrs. Arbuthnot doesn’t know anything about the wicked society in which we all live. She won’t go into it. She is far too good. I consider it was a great honour her coming to me last night. It gave quite an atmosphere of respectability to the party. Mrs. Allonby Ah, that must have been what you thought was thunder in the air. Lady Hunstanton My dear, how can you say that? There is no resemblance between the two things at all. But really, Gerald, what do you mean by not being suitable? Gerald Lord Illingworth’s views of life and mine are too different. Lady Hunstanton But, my dear Gerald, at your age you shouldn’t have any views of life. They are quite out of place. You must be guided by others in this matter. Lord Illingworth has made you the most flattering offer, and travelling with him you would see the world⁠—as much of it, at least, as one should look at⁠—under the best auspices possible, and stay with all the right people, which is so important at this solemn moment in your career. Gerald I don’t want to see the world: I’ve seen enough of it. Mrs. Allonby I hope you don’t think you have exhausted life, Mr. Arbuthnot. When a man says that, one knows that life has exhausted him. Gerald I don’t wish to leave my mother. Lady Hunstanton Now, Gerald, that is pure laziness on your part. Not leave your mother! If I were your mother I would insist on your going. Enter Alice L.C. Alice Mrs. Arbuthnot’s compliments, my lady, but she has a bad headache, and cannot see anyone this morning. Exit R.C. Lady Hunstanton Rising. A bad headache! I am so sorry! Perhaps you’ll bring her up to Hunstanton this afternoon, if she is better, Gerald. Gerald I am afraid not this afternoon, Lady Hunstanton. Lady Hunstanton Well, tomorrow, then. Ah, if you had a father, Gerald, he wouldn’t let you waste your life here. He would send you off with Lord Illingworth at once. But mothers are so weak. They give up to their sons in everything. We are all heart, all heart. Come, dear, I must call at the rectory and inquire for Mrs. Daubeny, who, I am afraid, is far from well. It is wonderful how the Archdeacon bears up, quite wonderful. He is the most sympathetic of husbands. Quite a model. Goodbye, Gerald, give my fondest love to your mother. Mrs. Allonby Goodbye, Mr. Arbuthnot. Gerald Goodbye. Exit Lady Hunstanton and Mrs. Allonby. Gerald sits down and reads over his letter. Gerald What name can I sign? I, who have no right to any name. Signs name, puts letter into envelope, addresses it, and is about to seal it, when door L.C. opens and Mrs. Arbuthnot enters. Gerald lays down sealing-wax. Mother and son look at each other. Lady Hunstanton Through French window at the back. Goodbye again, Gerald. We are taking the shortcut across your pretty garden. Now, remember my advice to you⁠—start at once with Lord Illingworth. Mrs. Allonby Au revoir, Mr. Arbuthnot. Mind you bring me back something nice from your travels⁠—not an Indian shawl⁠—on no account an Indian shawl. Exeunt. Gerald Mother, I have just written to him. Mrs. Arbuthnot To whom? Gerald To my father. I have written to tell him to come here at four o’clock this afternoon. Mrs. Arbuthnot He shall not come here. He shall not cross the threshold of my house. Gerald He must come. Mrs. Arbuthnot Gerald, if you are going away with Lord Illingworth, go at once. Go before it kills me: but don’t ask me to meet him. Gerald Mother, you don’t understand. Nothing in the world would induce me to go away with Lord Illingworth, or to leave you. Surely you know me well enough for that. No: I have written to him to say⁠— Mrs. Arbuthnot What can you have to say to him? Gerald Can’t you guess, mother, what I have written in this letter? Mrs. Arbuthnot No. Gerald Mother, surely you can. Think, think what must be done, now, at once, within the next few days. Mrs. Arbuthnot There is nothing to be done. Gerald I have written to Lord Illingworth to tell him that he must marry you. Mrs. Arbuthnot Marry me? Gerald Mother, I will force him to do it. The wrong that has been done you must be repaired. Atonement must be made. Justice may be slow, mother, but it comes in the end. In a few days you shall be Lord Illingworth’s lawful wife. Mrs. Arbuthnot But, Gerald⁠— Gerald I will insist upon his doing it. I will make him do it: he will not dare to refuse. Mrs. Arbuthnot But,