Mr. Britling attempted consolations.
“But anyhow,” said Mr. Dimple, “I’m better off than poor dear Mrs. Bynne. She secured two milliners. She insisted upon them. And their clothes were certainly beautifully made—even my poor old unworldly eye could tell that. And she thought two milliners would be so useful with a large family like hers. They certainly said they were milliners. But it seems—I don’t know what we shall do about them. … My dear Mr. Britling, those young women are anything but milliners—anything but milliners. …”
A faint gleam of amusement was only too perceptible through the good man’s horror.
“Sirens, my dear Mr. Britling. Sirens. By profession.” …
§ 10
October passed into November, and day by day Mr. Britling was forced to apprehend new aspects of the war, to think and rethink the war, to have his first conclusions checked and tested, twisted askew, replaced. His thoughts went far and wide and deeper—until all his earlier writing seemed painfully shallow to him, seemed a mere automatic response of obvious comments to the stimulus of the war’s surprise. As his ideas became subtler and profounder, they became more difficult to express; he talked less; he became abstracted and irritable at table. To two people in particular Mr. Britling found his real ideas inexpressible, to Mr. Direck and to Mr. Van der Pant.
Each of these gentlemen brought with him the implication or the intimation of a critical attitude towards England. It was all very well for Mr. Britling himself to be critical of England; that is an Englishman’s privilege. To hear Mr. Van der Pant questioning British efficiency or to suspect Mr. Direck of high, thin American superiorities to war, was almost worse than to hear Mrs. Harrowdean saying hostile things about Edith. It roused an even acuter protective emotion.
In the case of Mr. Van der Pant matters were complicated by the difficulty of the language, which made anything but the crudest statements subject to incalculable misconception.
Mr. Van der Pant had not the extreme tactfulness of his so typically Catholic wife; he made it only too plain that he thought the British postal and telegraph service slow and slack, and the management of the Great Eastern branch lines wasteful and inefficient. He said the workmen in the fields and the workmen he saw upon some cottages near the junction worked slowlier and with less interest than he had ever seen any workman display in all his life before. He marvelled that Mr. Britling lit his house with acetylene and not electric light. He thought fresh eggs were insanely dear, and his opinion of Matching’s Easy pig-keeping was uncomplimentary. The roads, he said, were not a means of getting from place to place, they were a dédale; he drew derisive maps with his finger on the tablecloth of the lane system about the Dower House. He was astonished that there was no Café in Matching’s Easy; he declared that the “public house” to which he went with considerable expectation was no public house at all; it was just a sly place for drinking beer. … All these were things Mr. Britling might have remarked himself; from a Belgian refugee he found them intolerable.
He set himself to explain to Mr. Van der Pant firstly that these things did not matter in the slightest degree, the national attention, the national interest ran in other directions; and secondly that they were, as a matter of fact and on the whole, merits slightly disguised. He produced a pleasant theory that England is really not the Englishman’s field, it is his breeding place, his resting place, a place not for efficiency but good humour. If Mr. Van der Pant were to make inquiries he would find there was scarcely a home in Matching’s Easy that had not sent some energetic representative out of England to become one of the English of the world. England was the last place in which English energy was spent. These hedges, these dilatory roads were full of associations. There was a road that turned aside near Market Saffron to avoid Turk’s wood; it had been called Turk’s wood first in the fourteenth century after a man of that name. He quoted Chesterton’s happy verses to justify these winding lanes.
“The road turned first towards the left,
Where Perkin’s quarry made the cleft;
The path turned next towards the right,
Because the mastiff used to bite. …”
And again:
“And I should say they wound about
To find the town of Roundabout,
The merry town of Roundabout
That makes the world go round.”
If our easygoing ways hampered a hard efficiency, they did at least develop humour and humanity. Our diplomacy at any rate had not failed us. …
He did not believe a word of this stuff. His deep irrational love for England made him say these things. … For years he had been getting himself into hot water because he had been writing and hinting just such criticisms as Mr. Van der Pant expressed so bluntly. … But he wasn’t going to accept foreign help in dissecting his mother. …
And another curious effect that Mr. Van der Pant had upon Mr. Britling was to produce an obstinate confidence about the war and the nearness of the German collapse. He
