So I came down from a horse to a donkey, and must become a musketeer against my will: which vexed me mightily, for want was master there, and the rations terrible small: I say not to no purpose “terrible” for I was terrified every morning when I received mine: for I knew I must make that suffice for the whole day which I could have made away with at a meal without trouble. And to tell truth ’tis a poor creature, a musketeer, that must so pass his life in a garrison, and make dry bread suffice him—yea, and not half enough of that: for he is naught else than a prisoner that prolongs his miserable life with the bread and water of tribulation: nay, a prisoner hath the better lot, for he needs neither to watch, nor to go the rounds, nor stand sentry, but lies at rest and has as much hope as any such poor garrison-soldier in time at length to get out of his prison. ’Tis true there were some that bettered their condition, and that in divers ways, but none that pleased me and seemed to me a reputable way to gain my food. For some in this miserable plight took to themselves wives (yea, the most vile women at need) for no other cause than to be kept by the said women’s work, either with sewing, washing and spinning, or with selling of old clothes and higgling, or even with stealing: there was a she-ensign among the women that drew her pay as a corporal: another was a midwife, and so earned many a good meal for herself and her husband: another could starch and wash: others laundered for the unmarried soldiers and officers shirts, stockings, sleeping-breeches and I know not what else, from which they had each her special name. Others did sell tobacco and provide pipes for the fellows that had need of them: others dealt in Branntwein: another was a seamstress, and could do all manner of embroidery and cut patterns to earn money: another gained a livelihood from the fields only; in winter she gathered snails, in spring salad-herbs, in summer she took birds’-nests, and in autumn she would gather fruit of all kinds: a few carried wood for sale like asses, and others traded with this and that. Yet to gain my support in such a way was not for me: for I had a wife already. Other fellows did gain a livelihood by play, for at that they were better than sharpers and could get their simple comrades’ money from them with false dice: but such a profession I loathed. Others toiled like beasts of burden at the ramparts; but for that I was too lazy: and some knew and could practise a trade, but I, poor creature, had learned none such: ’tis true if any had had need of a musician I could have filled the place well, but that land of hunger was content with drums and fifes. Some stood sentry for others and night and day came never off duty, but I would sooner starve than so torment my body: some got them booty by expeditions: but I was not even trusted to go outside the gates: others could go a-mousing better than any cat, but such a trade I hated worse than the plague. In a word, wherever I turned, I could hit on no way to fill my belly. Yet what vexed me most of all was this, that I must needs endure all manner of gibes when my comrades said, “What, thou a doctor, and hast no art but to starve?”
At length did hunger force me to inveigle a few fine carp out of the town ditch up to me on the wall: but as soon as the colonel was ware of it I must ride the torture-horse for it, and was forbidden on pain of death to exercise that art further. At the last others’ misfortune proved my good luck. For having cured a few patients of jaundice and two of fever (all which must have had a particular belief in me), it was allowed me to go out of the fortress on the pretence of collecting roots and herbs for my medicines: instead of which I did set snares for hares and had the luck to catch two the first night: these I brought to the colonel, and so got not only a thaler as a present, but also leave to go out and catch hares whensoever I was not on duty. Now because the country was waste and no man there to catch the beasts, which had therefore mightily multiplied, there came grist to my mill again, insomuch that it seemed as if it rained hares, or as if I could charm them into my snares. So when the officers saw they could trust me I was allowed to go out on plundering parties: and there I began again my life as at Soest, save that I might no longer lead and command such parties as heretofore in Westphalia; for for that ’twas needful to know all highways and byways and to be well acquainted with the Rhine stream.
