III
How the Great God Jupiter Was Captured and How He Revealed the Counsels of the Gods
Of that I was soon aware: and therefore did I do away my godless way of life and give myself over to religion and good living. ’Tis true I would ride on forays as before, yet now I showed myself so courteous and kindly towards friend and foe, that all I had to deal with deemed it must be a different man from him they had heard of. Nay, more, I made an end of my superfluous expense, and got together many bright ducats and jewels which I hid here and there in hollow trees in the country round Soest; for so the well-known fortune-teller in that town advised me, and told me likewise I had more enemies in Soest and in mine own regiment than outside the town and in the enemy’s garrisons: and these, said she, were all plotting against me and my money. And when ’twas noised in this place or that, that the huntsman was off and away, presently I was all unexpectedly at the elbow of them that so flattered themselves, and before one village was rightly certain that I had done mischief in another, itself found that I was close at hand: for I was everywhere like a whirlwind, now here now there: so that I was more talked of than ever, and others gave themselves out to be me.
Now it happened that I lay with twenty-five muskets not far from Dorsten and waited for a convoy that should come to the town: and as was my wont, I stood sentry myself as being near the enemy. To me there came a man all alone, very well dressed and flourishing a cane he had in his hand in strange wise: nor could I understand aught he said but this, “Once for all will I punish the world, that will not render me divine honours.” From that I guessed this might be some mighty prince that went thus disguised to find out his subjects’ ways and works, and now proposed duly to punish the same, as not having found them to his liking. So I thought, “If this man be of the opposite party, it means a good ransom; but if not, thou canst treat him so courteously and so charm away his heart that he shall be profitable to thee all thy life long.”
With that I leapt out upon him, presented my gun at him at full-cock, and says I, “Your worship will please to walk before me into yonder wood if he will not be treated as an enemy.” So he answered very gravely, “To such treatment my likes are not accustomed”: but I pushed him very politely along and, “Your honour,” said I, “will not for once refuse to bow to the necessities of the times.” So when I had brought him safely to my people in the wood and had set my sentries again, I asked him who he was: to which he answered very haughtily I need not ask that, for I knew already he was a great god. I thought he might perhaps know me, and might be a nobleman of Soest that thus spoke to rally me; for ’tis the custom to jeer at the people of Soest about their great idol with the golden apron: but soon I was aware that instead of a prince I had caught a madman, one that had studied too much and gone mad over poetry: for when he grew a little more acquainted with me he told me plainly he was the great god Jupiter himself.
Now did I heartily wish I had never made this capture: but since I had my fool, there I must needs keep him till we should depart: so, as the time otherwise would have been tedious, I thought I would humour the fellow and make his gifts of use to me; so I said to him, “Now, worshipful Jove, how comes it that thy high divinity thus leaves his heavenly throne and descends to earth? Forgive, O Jupiter, my question, which thou mightest deem one of curiosity: for we be also akin to the heavenly gods and nought but wood-spirits, born of fauns and nymphs, to whom this secret shall ever remain a secret.” “I swear to thee by the Styx,” answered Jupiter, “thou shouldst not know a word of the secret wert thou not so like to my cupbearer Ganymede, even wert thou Paris’s own son: but for his
