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does “Order, order!” mean? The Envoy I ask the august oracle to listen to my voice⁠— Zoo You people seem never to tire of listening to your voices; but it doesn’t amuse us. What do you want? The Envoy I want, young woman, to be allowed to proceed without unseemly interruptions. A low roll of thunder comes from the abyss. The Elderly Gentleman There! Even the oracle is indignant. To the Envoy. Do not allow yourself to be put down by this lady’s rude clamor, Ambrose. Take no notice. Proceed. The Envoy’s Wife I can’t bear this much longer, Amby. Remember: I haven’t had any brandy. His Daughter Trembling. There are serpents curling in the vapor. I am afraid of the lightning. Finish it, Papa; or I shall die. The Envoy Sternly. Silence. The destiny of British civilization is at stake. Trust me. I am not afraid. As I was saying⁠—where was I? Zoo I don’t know. Does anybody? The Elderly Gentleman Tactfully. You were just coming to the election, I think. The Envoy Reassured. Just so. The election. Now what we want to know is this: ought we to dissolve in August, or put it off until next spring? Zoo Dissolve? In what? Thunder. Oh! My fault this time. That means that the oracle understands you, and desires me to hold my tongue. The Envoy Fervently. I thank the oracle. The Wife To Zoo. Serve you right! The Elderly Gentleman Before the oracle replies, I should like to be allowed to state a few of the reasons why, in my opinion, the Government should hold on until the spring. In the first⁠— Terrific lightning and thunder. The Elderly Gentleman is knocked flat; but as he immediately sits up again dazedly it is clear that he is none the worse for the shock. The ladies cower in terror. The Envoy’s hat is blown off; but he seizes it just as it quits his temples, and holds it on with both hands. He is recklessly drunk, but quite articulate, as he seldom speaks in public without taking stimulants beforehand. The Envoy Taking one hand from his hat to make a gesture of stilling the tempest. That’s enough. We know how to take a hint. I’ll put the case in three words. I am the leader of the Potterbill party. My party is in power. I am Prime Minister. The Opposition⁠—the Rotterjacks⁠—have won every bye-election for the last six months. They⁠— The Elderly Gentleman Scrambling heatedly to his feet. Not by fair means. By bribery, by misrepresentation, by pandering to the vilest prejudices⁠—muttered thunder I beg your pardon. He is silent. The Envoy Never mind the bribery and lies. The oracle knows all about that. The point is that though our five years will not expire until the year after next, our majority will be eaten away at the bye-elections by about Easter. We can’t wait: we must start some question that will excite the public, and go to the country on it. But some of us say do it now. Others say wait till the spring. We can’t make up our minds one way or the other. Which would you advise? Zoo But what is the question that is to excite your public? The Envoy That doesn’t matter. I don’t know yet. We will find a question all right enough. The oracle can foresee the future: we cannot. Thunder. What does that mean? What have I done now? Zoo Severely. How often must you be told that we cannot foresee the future? There is no such thing as the future until it is the present. The Elderly Gentleman Allow me to point out, madam, that when the Potterbill party sent to consult the oracle fifteen years ago, the oracle prophesied that the Potterbills would be victorious at the General Election; and they were. So it is evident that the oracle can foresee the future, and is sometimes willing to reveal it. The Envoy Quite true. Thank you, Poppa. I appeal now, over your head, young woman, direct to the August Oracle, to repeat the signal favor conferred on my illustrious predecessor, Sir Fuller Eastwind, and to answer me exactly as he was answered. The oracle raises her hands to command silence. All Sh-sh-sh! Invisible trombones utter three solemn blasts in the manner of Die Zauberflöte. The Elderly Gentleman May I⁠— Zoo Quickly. Hush. The oracle is going to speak. The Oracle Go home, poor fool. She vanishes; and the atmosphere changes to prosaic daylight. Zoo comes off the railing; throws off her robe; makes a bundle of it; and tucks it under her arm. The magic and mystery are gone. The women rise to their feet. The Envoy’s party stare at one another helplessly. Zoo The same reply, word for word, that your illustrious predecessor, as you call him, got fifteen years ago. You asked for it; and you got it. And just think of all the important questions you might have asked. She would have answered them, you know. It is always like that. I will go and arrange to have you sent home: you can wait for me in the entrance hall. She goes out. The Envoy What possessed me to ask for the same answer old Eastwind got? The Elderly Gentleman But it was not the same answer. The answer to Eastwind was an inspiration to our party for years. It won us the election. The Envoy’s Daughter I learnt it at school, granpa. It wasn’t the same at all. I can repeat it. She quotes. “When Britain was cradled in the west, the east wind hardened her and made her great. Whilst the east wind prevails Britain shall prosper. The east wind shall wither Britain’s enemies in the day of contest. Let the Rotterjacks look to it.” The Envoy The old man invented that. I see it all. He was a doddering old ass when he came to consult the oracle. The oracle naturally said “Go home, poor fool.” There was no sense