Editor’s note: And still are.
Author’s note: I didn’t know that. ↩
Editor’s note: Then why not tell the things you didn’t do?
Author’s note: Why not shut up? ↩
Editor’s note: The author doubtless meant to say “Doc.”
Author’s note: The author meant what he said. Pearson was a notorious quack. ↩
Editor’s note: Philadelphia. ↩
Editor’s note: “Buddies” is not in any dictionary and may be a colloquialism meaning, perhaps, clowns or funny men. ↩
Editor’s note: There is that word again. ↩
Author’s note: At this point I wish to correct an error that was made by the New York newspapers in their account of the wedding. I was repeatedly referred to as the groom, though I have had nothing to do with the care of a horse since I was twelve years old, and then only as a favor. The mistake probably was due to a misunderstanding by an Associated Press reporter, who, when my engagement was announced, called up Hugga’s mother, Sitta Much, and asked if she was satisfied with me as a son-in-law. Mrs. Much replied: “I certainly am. He is a hustler.” The reporter, no doubt, thought she said “hostler.” The two words “hostler” and “hustler” sound a great deal alike, especially in Eskimo.
Editor’s note: Another amusing incident is told concerning that same telephone conversation. When the reporter first got the bride’s mother on the wire, he said: “Mrs. Much?” and she replied: “Yes. A great deal.” ↩
Editor’s note: A custom. The anthem referred to begins, “Lap and the world laps with you.” ↩
Driver’s note: I never held nobody up. ↩
Author’s note: Skulk is not really a town at all; merely a fishing smack. ↩
Author’s note: His name, we found out afterwards, was Webster.
Editor’s note: There was a family of Websters in Elmira.
Author’s note: This was a different Webster.
Editor’s note: The same spelling. ↩
Editor’s note: Presumably Webster.
Author’s note: Not related to the Elmira Websters. ↩
Editor’s note: My sister Cora, who visited Washington at the time of President McKinley’s inauguration, wrote me that G street was one of the main business thoroughfares.
Author’s note: It was, and still is.
Editor’s note: It was during this trip that Cora became acquainted with Wayne Pardee.
Author’s note: Not the Wayne Pardee!
Editor’s note: A nephew. ↩
Editor’s note: According to newspaper accounts, Mr. Lardner turned down a suggestion of his counsel’s that the case be tried before a petty jury, saying that if Hugga found out they were the least bit petty, she would insist on a party instead of a trial. ↩
Editor’s note: Consult William Holabird on “What Shall We Do With Suspender Snappers” ↩
Editor’s note: Probably something the matter with it.
Author’s note: Must have been. ↩
Editor’s note: There has always been fine hake fishing in the bay on which the Lardner home fronts.
Author’s note: Nobody ever caught a hake there yet.
Editor’s note: Makes the chance of catching one all the better. ↩
Editor’s note: At this point the author’s memoirs are abruptly terminated. The coroner’s jury brought in a verdict of “death by being hit in the stomach by a hake.”
Author’s note: Or death from stomach hake. ↩
Colophon
Short Fiction
was compiled from short stories and novellas published between and by
Ring Lardner.
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