Allison, Ill. Aug. 3.
Dear Charley:
Well Charley I am not going to have no chance to get back at Thomas and Carpenter and if any body ever mentions the word golf club to me again I will take a punch at there jaw Thomas and Carpenter incluseive.
Last night when I come home from down town I found the Mrs. crying like a baby with the collect. So I ast her what was the matter and she says she had been to the P.O. and got the bills.
Well, I says, this is the 1st of the month and if you cant look at a few bills without flooding the parlor you better of kept away from the P.O.
Yes, she says, but look at this 1. And she handed me a bill from the golf club and how much do you think it was. Only a measly $227.50. And it says that $150 was for joining the club and $12.50 was for 3 months dues and $65 for bar. Well Charley when I seen it you could of knocked me down with a feather. But I thought of corse it must be a mistake and I says so to the Mrs.
The $150 and the $12.50 is OK, I says, but they told me I dident half to pay the $150 till I felt like it. But I havent bought no bar and I dont know what there talking about.
Well she made me call up the treasure of the club and I ast him what it all meant and he says the bar part of it was something I would half to ask the stewart about. Yes, I says, but you people told me I wouldent half to pay the $150 right away. So he says they meant not for a month or so but now I had been in the club pretty near 3 months or over and would half to pay or forfiet my membership. So I hung up on him and then I called up the stewart. Well Charley, he says that all that wine and them other drinks I signed for wasent free after all but the way they run it was for a man to sign your name when you got it and settle the 1st of the month.
So then I called the treasure back.
Suppose I dont pay that $150, I says to him, and suppose I dont pay that bar bill that I got beat out of because they just as good as told me the drinks was free. What will you do about it.
Nothing, he says, only you will be fired from the club.
Is that all you will do to me, I says, and he says yes.
Well, I says, I am fired and you can take your golf club and go and jump in the Des Plaines river with it.
So your going to stick us for $227.50, he says.
Yes I am, I says.
All right, he says, its worth more than that to have you quit.
I will quit you next time I see you, I says. I will quit you right in the jaw. And then I hung up on him.
Well Charley I wish I had of stopped that check I give Thomas and then I wouldent of been nothing out only what I payed for the balls I lost because I guess I can sell my bag and the clubs. And I got there silver presidents cup that I win fair and square and I would of win the $50 from Thomas only for some preserved peaches that I eat that poisoned me. So all and all I dident come out so bad. But dont never mention golf or golf club around me because its a baby game and they dont nobody only babys play it and if I couldent go out and practice it a wk. or 2 and then beat any of them I would shoot myself provided I felt good.
Allison, Ill. Aug. 8.
Brother Chas:
Well Chas. who do you think I played golf with today. The chief himself Charley and he beat me but it was because I hadent had a golf club in my hands for over a wk. And I aint going to give the game up after all Chas. because I found out that theys places to play in Chi where it dont cost you a nickle.
Heres how it come off Chas. I brought my golf clubs down town with me this a.m. with the intentions of takeing them to a hawk shop and see what could I get for them. But the train was late and I had to go right to headquarters and leave selling them till later and when the chief come in he seen them.
So he says he dident know I was a golf player. So I says I wasent a golf player no more because it was a baby game and too easy for a groan man to monkey with it. So he says he had been monking with it a long wile and if I thought it was such a pipe he would take me out and play me for the drinks. So I ast him where we would play at and he says Garfield Pk. So thats where we went Charley and its a public course and dont cost you nothing to belong and he
