After a bit of thinking. Where’d you go, yesterday afternoon? With this fellow?
Lucille
We went to a matinée.
Paul
On a Monday?
Lucille
It was at the Palace. We went to the Palace.
Paul
Taking plenty of time. Who was there?
Lucille
What?
Paul
On the bill. Who were the headliners?
Lucille
Panic in her voice. I don’t see what difference that makes.
Paul
Not raising his tone. You—dirty—lying—double-crosser!
Eileen
That’s not true!
Lucille
Stopping Eileen. Keep still! I’m sick of the whole thing! She faces Paul. Yes! … Yes, if you want to know! … Yes and to hell with you! Did you think I was going to wait around forever for you to give me the things I wanted? God knows I waited long enough! And then—I just didn’t wait any longer, that’s all. What do you know about that? Huh? What do you know about that? Paul is stunned. Turns slowly away. So—that’s the way that stands! She takes a step toward the door; breaks into sobs. Eileen goes to her; puts her arm around her.
Fred
But—but you mean to say that when you were married to him—He takes a moment, trying to realize it. Then, to Eileen. But you must have known she was doing it!
Eileen
What? Why—no, I didn’t.
Fred
Yes. You said you bought her the dress.
Paul
A scornful laugh. Known she was doing it! She put her up to it!
Eileen
That’s not true!
Paul
No? Well, then I’ll tell you something that is true!
Eileen
Don’t you believe him, Fred!
Paul
And thank God I’ve got the courage to tell you at last!
Eileen
He’s a liar, that’s what he is! I tell you he’s a liar!
Fred
Why, what is it?
Paul
You didn’t know your fiancée had a lover, did you?
Fred
What?
Eileen
I tell you it’s a lie. He’s just trying to separate us!
Paul
Am I?
Eileen
He’s just making it up!
Paul
She told you she was engaged to be married! Well, she wasn’t! He was her lover, and he kicked her out, and that’s why she took up with you! I’d have told you long ago, if I hadn’t been a coward!
Fred
Staggered. Turns to Eileen. Is this true?
Eileen
In final realization that the game is up. Of course it is, you little fool!
Fred
Gosh!
Eileen
That’s probably a pretty big shock to those fine upstate morals of yours.
Fred
Then I been going around all this time with a—bad woman?
Eileen
And now have we both got permission to go, or does somebody else want to speak? Spotting Edna, who has been brought on the scene by Maxie. Maybe your little girlfriend would like to say a few words?
Fred
If she does, she’ll say them to me. And I’ll know I can believe them, too.
Eileen
I’m sure you’ll understand each other. What’s more, you’re probably the only two people in the world that would. Come on, Lucille. She surveys the lovers. I want to come and visit that child of yours—next month. Lucille and Eileen go.
Paul has dropped into a chair, his head buried in his hands.
Fred
Turning to where Edna and Maxie stand. Eddie, I—I don’t have to marry her.
Edna
I’m so happy, Fred.
Fred
I’m sorry, Paul, about—everything.
Paul
That’s all right. I’m glad if I helped to fix things for you. I should have told you long ago. He goes.
Fred
Only look! I’ve still got the tickets for the boat, and it says “Frederick M. Stevens and Wife.” And I wonder if the steamship people allow you to change your wife?
Maxie
Yes. If you don’t do it in midstream.
Edna
If your wife is the right kind she won’t let you take her on an expensive trip. She’ll make you put everything into a home. I don’t mean a big home—just a little bungalow would do.
Fred
Bungalow! A bungalow for two! That’d be a great title!
Maxie
And I’ve got a great tune! Maxie goes into “Button Up Your Overcoat.” Fred is enchanted—to him it is something that Maxie has composed on the spur of the moment. He starts improvising words.
Fred
“In a bungalow for two, Where we can bill and coo—”
The cover page is adapted from June Moon,
a painting completed in by André Durenceau.
The cover and title pages feature the League Spartan and Sorts Mill Goudy
typefaces created in and by The League of Moveable Type.
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