First Drop of Crimson

you to remain human, did you?”

Denise felt betrayal welling up in her. He’d just decided she’d change her species without even talking to her about it? She’d been willing to fight her PTSD and stay in the vampire world, just to be with him. But no matter how sweet he acted toward her, he’d never gotten past his prejudice against her being a human. She’d thought Spade accepted her for who she was, but all along, it hadn’t been good enough.

“I have always been clear about the fact that if I got these brands off, I was going back to being a normal human. That hasn’t changed.”

Spade was in front of her in a blink, his hands gripping almost painfully into her shoulders.

“You were willing to sacrifice your humanity to protect my life, yet you’re not willing to sacrifice it for our relationship?” He let out a cruel laugh. “And here I believed you when you said you weren’t interested in a casual shag, but clearly that’s all I am to you.”

Denise shoved at him, but it didn’t even make him flinch. “I shouldn’t need to change into a vampire to be good enough for a relationship with you!”

“Fancy being a ghoul instead? Fine, choose that,” he flared.

She gaped at him. Did he really despise humans this much?

“I’m not going to change my species just to be worthy of a relationship with you,” Denise got out, anger seeping over the hurt of his rejection. “If I’m not good enough for you as I am, then we’re through.”

Spade’s eyes went green and fangs jutted out from his teeth. “So be it. I wish you joy of your short life.”

He spun on his heel and strode out, his preternatural grace and speed emphasizing that the differences between them were insurmountable. Denise heard the front door slam seconds later. Only when she was sure that Spade had left the house did she finally allow her tears to fall.

Chapter Thirty

“That was impressively inept of you.”

Spade cursed but kept walking through the dense forest that bordered the house, not deigning to respond to Ian.

The crunching sounds of leaves continued behind him. “If I were a betting man, I’d wager the lass is in tears right now,” Ian went on.

Spade’s jaw clenched. “Not bloody likely. She’s the one who just threw me away, not the reverse.”

“Hmm. I suppose. If you’ve resigned yourself to things being over between you two, then I think I’ll wander back to the house and see if the fetching little shape-shifter is in need of any comfort—”

Spade had Ian against a tree when a knowing laugh made him drop his hands.

“Indeed, right finished with her, you are,” Ian taunted him.

He forced himself to step back from Ian, cursing that he’d so easily fallen into that one.

“It doesn’t matter that I still feel for her. She’s as good as dead as a human, and I’m not going through that again.”

The knowledge burned like silver in his heart. Lovely, brave, stubborn Denise. Rotting in a grave within a few fleeting decades—if she was lucky. Sooner, if she wasn’t. He couldn’t tolerate that. It had nearly destroyed him with Giselda.

“Your problem is you’re too bloody honorable for your own good,” Ian said. “Were I you, I’d change Denise over regardless of her objection.”

Spade let out a cold laugh. “Mate, I know that better than anyone.”

Ian shrugged. “Yes, you and Crispin would, wouldn’t you?”

He stopped and gave a hard look at the vampire opposite him. Ian stared back, unapologetic, uncompromising. The same stare Ian had given him over two hundred and twenty years ago, when he’d been responsible for Spade being turned into a vampire. Ian might not have sired him, being too weakened after changing Crispin, but Spade was turned because Ian asked for a favor, ignoring that Spade hadn’t wanted it.

For several long, merciless seconds, Spade considered that. He’d eventually forgiven Ian, after all. So had Crispin. True, Denise might hate him for a hundred years if he changed her despite her objections, but at least she’d be alive to hate him. Not feeding worms beneath the earth.

But could he truly do that to her? Pretend to accept her humanity, and then snatch it away from her as soon as those brands were off? If he did, how could she ever trust him again? He and Crispin forgave Ian, yes, but the nature of their relationship had been very different as betrayed friends versus a betrayed lover.

Or what if Denise didn’t realize it was a betrayal? She’d proved susceptible to the power of his gaze before. He could plant the idea in her mind to welcome changing over. She’d never even remember that it hadn’t come from her…

With a violent curse, Spade shook his head and began walking again. “No. I’ll have something real with Denise, or nothing at all.”

“Fool,” Ian called after him.

He clenched his jaw again. That might be true, but it was his decision all the same.

The knock on the bedroom door made Denise’s heart leap. “Come in,” she called out at once.

That brief hope was extinguished when Bones entered instead of Spade. “Even if I couldn’t read your thoughts, your scent of disappointment is overpowering,” Bones noted.

Denise flopped back in the bed. She’d been trying with no success to sleep in the hours since Spade stormed out. Had he left for good? He might have. Bones and Cat could more than handle giving Nathanial over to Raum.

“Of course Charles didn’t leave for good,” Bones said, taking the chair near the bed. “He’s brassed off quite a bit, but he’ll be back by dawn at the latest.”

“You know, I never realized how intrusive your mind-reading skills were,” Denise said dryly. “Can’t you switch to another channel or something?”

“Don’t you realize how much Charles cares for you?”

Denise scoffed. “You can’t care for what you don’t respect, and Spade has no respect for humans.”

“That’s not true. Charles does respect humans. He’s just avoided caring for any human again because humans always die,” Bones said softly.

“Vampires die all the time, too,” Denise countered. “There’s no such thing as immortality, no matter the species.”

“Vampires can’t die from the passage of time, diseases, or accidents. No one can protect himself against every form of death, but death is so much closer to humans than vampires or ghouls. What happened with Web obviously inflated Charles’s fear of your mortality to the level that had him storming out when you rejected the notion of ever turning into a vampire.”

“But I don’t want to be a vampire,” Denise said, frustrated. “Why is that such an unreasonable thing for Spade to understand?”

“Because it means he’ll bury you one day,” Bones replied. “One day soon, to a vampire’s way of thinking. It’s not the same as a normal relationship, where there’s a chance that your life spans will be similar. With a human, an early death is guaranteed. If the situation were reversed, would you be content to let Charles die, if you could prevent it? Don’t you remember what you said when you found Randy’s body? You screamed at me to fix him. It was too late, but if it wasn’t, you would have demanded that I do whatever was necessary to ensure that you and Randy could still be together.”

Memory sliced ruthlessly across her mind. Vampires everywhere, blood and dirt spattering them. She slipped, landing in something dark and sticky. The stain coated the floor, widening as it led to the kitchen. Green light from a passing vampire’s gaze shone on the large, misshapen lumps in front of her.