Hardenburg put his pistol away. 'All right,' he said.
Then he came back to the motor-cycle, and swung himself into the saddle. He kicked the pedal. This time it started.
'Get on,' he said to Christian.
Carefully, Christian swung his leg over and settled himself on the pillion seat of the motor-cycle. The machine throbbed jumpily under him.
'Hold on tight,' Hardenburg said. 'Around my middle.'
Christian put his arms around Hardenburg. Very strange, he thought, hugging an officer at a time like this, like a girl going for an outing into the woods with a motor-cycle club on a Sunday afternoon. So close, Hardenburg smelled frightfully, and Christian was afraid he was going to vomit.
Hardenburg put the machine into gear and it sputtered and roared and Christian wanted to say, 'Please keep quiet,' because something like this should be done quietly, and it was discourteous to the thirty-seven men who had to stay behind to advertise so blatantly that they were being left alone to die and that other men would still be alive when they were bleached bones on the hill from which no escape was possible.
Thirty-six now, Christian thought, remembering the laborious small pits facing the British, facing the tanks and the armoured cars. Three dozen. Three dozen soldiers, he thought, holding tight to the Lieutenant on the jolting machine, trying to remember not to have an attack of fever or chills, three dozen soldiers, at how much a dozen?…
Hardenburg reached a level place, and he accelerated the motor. They sped across the empty plain glowing in the last level rays of the sinking moon, surrounded by the flicker of guns on all horizons. Their speed created a great deal of wind, and Christian's cap blew off, but he did not mind, because the wind also made it impossible to smell the Lieutenant any more.
They rode north and west for half an hour. The flickering on the horizon grew stronger and brighter as the motor-cycle slithered along the winding track among the dunes and the occasional patches of scrub grass. There were some burnt-out tanks along the track, and here and there a truck, its naked driveshaft poking up into the dim air like an anti-aircraft gun. There were some new graves, obviously hastily dug, with a rifle, bayonet-down in the ground, and a cap or helmet hanging from the butt, and there were the usual crashed planes, blackened and wind-ripped, with the bent propellers and the broken wings vaguely reflecting glints of the moon from their ragged metal surfaces. But it wasn't until they reached a road considerably to the north, running almost due west, that they met any other troops. Then they suddenly were in a long regimental convoy of trucks, armoured cars, scout cars, carriers and other motorcycles, moving slowly along the narrow track, in overpowering clouds of dust and exhaust fumes.
Hardenburg pulled off to one side, but not too far, because there was no telling, with all the fighting that had gone back and forth over this ground, where you might run over a mine. He stopped the motor-cycle and Christian nearly dropped off with the tension of speed no longer holding him to the seat. Hardenburg swung round and held Christian, steadying him.
'Thank you,' Christian said formally and light-headedly. He was having a chill now, and his jaws were clamped in a cold spasm around his swollen tongue.
'You can get into one of those trucks,' Hardenburg shouted, waving, with a ridiculous expenditure of energy, at the procession slowly droning past. 'But I don't think you should.'
'Whatever you say, Lieutenant.' Christian smiled with frozen amiability, like a drunk at a polite and rather boring garden-party.
'I don't know what their orders are,' Hardenburg shouted, 'and they may have to turn off and fight at any moment…'
'Of course,' said Christian.
'It's a good idea to hold on to our own transportation,' Hardenburg said. Christian was vaguely grateful that the Lieutenant was being so kind about explaining everything to him.
'Yes,' said Christian, 'yes, indeed.'
'What did you say?' Hardenburg shouted as an armoured car roared past.
'I said…' Christian hesitated. He did not remember what he had said. 'I am agreeable,' he said, nodding ambiguously.
'Absolutely agreeable.'
'Good,' said Hardenburg. He unknotted the handkerchief that Christian had round his throat. 'Better put this round your face. For the dust.' He started to tie it behind Christian's head.
Christian put his hands up slowly and pushed the Lieutenant's hands away. 'Pardon me,' he said, 'for a moment.' Then he leaned over and vomited.
The men in the trucks going by did not look at him or the Lieutenant. They merely stared straight ahead as though they were riding in a wintry parade in a dying man's dream, without interest, curiosity, destination, hope.
Christian straightened up. He felt much better, although the taste in his mouth was considerably worse than it had been before. He put the handkerchief up around over the bridge of his nose so that it covered the entire lower part of his face. His fingers worked heavily on the knot behind, but finally he made it.
'I am ready,' he announced.
Hardenburg had his handkerchief round his face by this time. Christian put his arms around the Lieutenant's waist, and the motor-cycle kicked and spun in the sand and jolted into the procession behind an ambulance with three pairs of legs showing through the torn door.
Christian felt very fond of the Lieutenant, sitting iron-like on the seat in front of him, looking, with his handkerchief mask, like a bandit in an American Western movie. I ought to do something, Christian thought, to show him my appreciation. For five minutes, in the shaking dust, he tried to think how he could demonstrate his gratitude to the Lieutenant. Slowly, the idea came to him. I will tell him, Christian thought, about his wife and myself. That is all I have to offer. Christian shook his head. Silly, he thought, silly, silly. But now he had thought of the idea, he could not escape it. He closed his eyes; he tried to think of the thirty-six men digging slowly in the sand to the south; he tried to think of all the beer and cold wine and cold water he had drunk in the last five years, but again and again he felt himself on the verge of shouting over the clanking of the traffic around him, 'Lieutenant, I had your wife when I went on leave from Rennes.'
The procession stopped, and Hardenburg, who had decided to remain, for safety, in the middle of the convoy, put his foot down and balanced the machine in neutral. Now, thought Christian crazily, now I am going to tell him. But at that moment two men got out of the ambulance in front of them and dragged a body out by the feet and put it down by the side of the road. They moved heavily and wearily and dragged it by the ankles out of the way of the vehicles. Christian stared at them over the edge of his handkerchief. The two men looked up guiltily. 'He is not alive,' one of them said earnestly, coming over to Christian. 'What's the sense of carrying him if he is not alive?'
Then the convoy started and the ambulance ground into first gear. The two men had to run, their water- bottles flapping against their hips, and they were dragged for quite a distance 'before they managed to scramble into the body of the ambulance over the other legs jutting out through the torn door. Then it was too noisy to tell Hardenburg about his wife.
It was hard to remember when the firing started. There was a ragged crackling near the head of the column and the vehicles stopped. Then Christian realized that he had been hearing the noise for what seemed like a long time without understanding what it was.
Men jumped heavily from the thin-skinned vehicles and scattered into the desert on both sides of the road. A wounded man fell out of the ambulance and crawled, digging his fingers into the ground, dragging one useless leg, to a little clump of grass ten metres to the right. He lay there, busily hollowing out a little space in front of him with his hands. Machine-guns started all around them and the armoured vehicles swung without any recognizable plan to both sides and opened fire wildly, in all directions. A man without a cap walked swiftly up and down near them alongside the deserted trucks, with their motors still going, bellowing, 'Answer it! Answer it, you bastards.' He was bald and capless and his dome shone whitely in the moonlight. He was waving a swagger-stick insanely in the air. He must be at least a colonel, Christian thought.
