She drew away. Before I knew what was happening she was bending over me and giving me head. I lifted her up and shifted her around and got my tongue against her vagina. I ran my tongue over her clitoris. She started to moan and cry and she stopped giving me head. Then suddenly she put the head in her mouth again. When I came, I thought the top of my dick was going to fly off. My eyes were closed but I was shooting so damn high and hard, I almost heard it. My cock kept spasming until I was dead beat. I lay back sweating and breathing hard. I felt like I'd run a hundred yards through a herd of elephants.
'What's the trouble?' I asked her finally. 'You didn't make it.'
'I can't make it.'
'Didn't you come that time in the hospital?'
'Couldn't you tell?'
'I was a little punchy.'
'I didn't,' she said.
'Are you frigid?'
'No, I like you, Matt.'
'I mean, are you frigid?'
'What do you mean?'
'Didn't you ever come with anybody?'
She shook her head.
'I really like to give head,' she said.
'You ought to see a doctor or shrink. Honest to God, you've never come with a guy?'
'I can't.'
'I feel sorry for you.'
I felt sorry, for both of us. Sorry I was just getting my gun off like a goddamn animal. Sorry she'd maybe never known what it was like. Sorry Mary wasn't here. I felt lousy, a wilted cock with a headmaster. That's love for you. I thought about Mary and felt rotten and cursed my cock. I wished Mary Beth would get the hell home.
'I like you, Matt.'
What the hell was I supposed to say to that? I rolled over and lay face down. She didn't speak. After a couple of minutes I heard her getting dressed. I rolled and sat up and pulled her onto my lap and gave her a kiss. Her lips felt small and cold. It was like kissing a baby.
'Forget it,' I said. 'You're a big help. I needed you.'
'Oh, Matty,' she breathed against my neck. 'I need you, too.'
I patted her shoulder and kissed her throat and cheeks.
'I've got to get some sleep,' I told her. She got up.
'Be seeing you,' she said. I watched her open the door and depart. It was while I was taking a shower that I knew I'd have to move. I didn't want any part of that poor sick kid. I had enough problems. Damn it. I was in love. I didn't want this kind of lonely and incomplete lovemaking I'd had tonight. I wanted love with somebody who loved me. And I her.
Chapter 16
I started the next two games, and Vakos started the two after that. We spelled each other off in the second half. We won all four games, which didn't make me look any better than Vakos, but Reed wasn't letting either of us go the distance. I didn't know why and he ignored that question whenever I asked him.
After the sixth game I was the last one to leave the dressing room. Reed was waiting outside for me.
'I might as well tell you now,' he said.
'I'm not going to make it to the Viking taxi squad?'
'Don't try to be funny.'
'It's not funny. You never let either of us finish a game.'
'There's a pusher on the team.'
'So?'
'You don't know anything about it, I suppose?'
'The goddamn doctor probably. Who the hell do you think we get our pep pills from?'
'Nope. Hash. Heroin.'
'Come on.'
'I want a straight answer, Matt.'
'What the hell are you talking about?'
'It was found in your locker.'
'You're nuts!'
'Ask Binks. We haven't turned it over to the feds.'
'Thanks a lot.'
'Do I play like I'm on the stuff?'
'We had to let DeHaven go. He was on the needle.'
'What's that got to do with me?'
'We found some in your locker.'
'Goddamn frame?' I yelled at him. 'If you want to get rid of me, say so! Don't pull this crap. Would I keep it in my locker if I were using it?'
'Who knows what a dopehead will do?'
'You're full of crap. Did DeHaven say I was pushing it?'
'He wouldn't say anything.'
'Somebody's trying to put a jacket on me. That goddamn Leighton. Or Vakos.'
'I'm not making this up.'
'Who said you were? DeHaven said there's a pusher on the squad, but he won't name him.'
'I'll see if I can find out.'
Frankly, I didn't give a crap. Somebody was trying to put a jacket on me.
'I need your help.'
'Wanna see my needle marks?'
'Do you smoke hash, Matt?'
'Give me a kiss and find out. Half the squad gets a little hash smash now and then. I've never touched the stuff.'
'Who smokes hash?'
'Don't ask me.'
'I'll fire him.'
'You'll lose a lot of good players.'
Chapter 17
I started to worry to beat hell about the fact that we had only three more games to play. My right knee was acting up, too. Nobody knew it but the last two games I'd shot it with Novocain myself. I was finished. All the sacrifice and training and hard work,. and nothing out of it, except going back to selling stocks and bonds after the season. So if Vakos was trying to frame me, it didn't matter. Nothing but selling stocks and bonds the rest of my life. I'd tried to prove something and I hadn't proved a damn thing, except that you go over the hill in this game. I should have known it. Crazy. I shouldn't even have tried. I tried to find Mary, but it wasn't any use. A private detective wanted a fortune to find her. I tried not thinking about her. I moved, took a room with a kitchenette in an old apartment house. That took care of Mary Beth, but not Mary Cassidy. Nothing took care of Mary Cassidy. The knee got better, the stiffness went, then it came back.
