Then we were invited to the palace for the Sed festival. Tey saw in it an opportunity for her daughters to meet eligible suitors. “You must be seen in the most beautiful dress,” she said. But I was only anxious to see one person-he who had shown me the light of the truth. In the grand hall of the palace I met people with whom I later walked the path of life, with its sweetness and its bitterness-Haremhab, Nakht, Mae, and many others. That night, however, my heart saw no one but Akhenaten. When I first saw him, I was taken aback by his strange appearance. I had pictured him a token of perfection. Instead, he was thin and feeble. His appearance called more for pity than admiration. I admit that I was rather disappointed. But it was a momentary disappointment. I saw beyond his strange features and feeble body a spirit that was singled out by God to receive his divine love, and I secretly vowed my loyalty to this frail creature. He was seated to the right of his father, observing the dance without enthusiasm. My eyes never left him. Indeed, many people noticed that he was the focus of my attention. I shall never forget what Mutnedjmet said to me, suffering the sting of jealousy: “You have set your goal, Nefertiti. Now you will stride toward it.”
I wished that he would see me. And he did. He glanced in my direction and our eyes met for the first time. He almost looked away, but his eyes moved back and he fixed his gaze upon me. I believe he was rather startled at this young woman who regarded him so intently, and with so much longing. I looked at the Great Queen Tiye and saw that she was looking at me. My heart pounded quickly, and my dreams soared in the highest sky. But I never anticipated what followed.
I returned to our palace heaving with excitement and vague desires. Mutnedjmet, however, was sullen.
“I am quite sure now,” she said when we were alone in our room. I asked her what she meant, and she continued, “He is sick and insane.”
“You have only seen him from outside. You know nothing of what is in his heart.”
The next day, when my father returned to the palace he told me that the Great Queen had asked to see me. His announcement shook the entire family, and we looked questioningly at each other.
“I suspect,” my father continued proudly, “that the queen will appoint you one of her maids of honor.”
I went to the royal palace in the company of my father. I was ushered to the queen's resting place overlooking the garden. I bowed before her until she called upon me to rise and sit on a sofa to her right.
“Your name is Nefertiti?” she said. I nodded and she continued softly, “Nefert-iti, The Beautiful One Has Come, a well-deserved name indeed.” I blushed with joy. “How old are you?”
“Sixteen years, my Queen.”
“You look more mature.” She paused for a moment then continued, “Why do you think I summoned you?”
“A fortune beyond what I deserve.”
“Well said, young woman,” she smiled. “Have you acquired some education?”
“Reading, writing, poetry, history, theology, algebra, and home-making,” I replied.
“What do you think of Egypt?”
“Egypt is the mother of the world, and its pharaoh the king of kings.”
“Who is your most cherished deity?” she asked. I detected a keenness in her question.
“Aten, Your Majesty.” I was compelled to hide the truth.
“What about Amun?”
“Amun protects the empire, but Aten circles it every day.”
“One cannot control what the heart loves, but you must realize that Amun is the master of all deities.”
“Indeed I do, Your Majesty.”
“Tell me in all honesty,” she continued, “has your heart ever known the love of a man?”
“No, Your Majesty,” I replied without hesitation.
“Have you had any suitors?”
“Many asked for my hand in marriage, but my father did not consider them suitable.”
She scrutinized my face for a while, then said, “You must have heard what is said about the crown prince's peculiar ideas regarding Amun and the deities. What is your honest impression?”
For the first time I was not able to reply. I remained silent until she continued in a voice laden with authority, “Speak only the truth.”
“What is in the heart belongs to the heart. But the traditions established between the throne and the priests must be preserved.”
“Well spoken!” she said. She appeared relieved. “Speak to me of your dream man. What is he like?”
“He has the strength of a warrior and the soul of a priest.”
She laughed. “You are extremely ambitious. If you had to choose, would it be the warrior or the priest?”
“The soul is more important.”
“In all honesty?”
“Yes, Your Majesty.”
“You are not like other young women,” she exclaimed.
“Life without faith is barren,” I said.
“What is faith without life?”
“There is no faith without life, and no life without faith.”
She remained silent for a while as I struggled to hide my rising excitement.
“Have you seen the crown prince?” she asked at last.
“At the Sed festival, my Queen.”
“What do you think of him?”
“He has a mysterious power that distinguishes him from all other men.”
“I meant, what would you think of him as a husband?”
I was silenced by the surprise. She repeated her question.
“I cannot find the words, my Queen,” I replied, my voice trembling.
“Did you ever dream of being a queen?”
“My dreams have only risen as high as my humble heart.”
“Doesn't the idea of the throne fascinate you?”
“It is a sky too high for my heart to fly in.”
Tiye was silent for a moment. “I have chosen you as a wife for my son, the crown prince.”
I closed my eyes under the intensity of my emotions. Pulling myself together again, I said, “But the prince doesn't know me, and he's not interested in me.”
“But he abides by my wishes. I am his mother, and he loves me above all else,” she said proudly. “It is impor tant for me to find him a suitable wife. When I saw you I felt that you were his match. I heed my inner feelings just as much as I heed reason.” I was still silenced and overwhelmed. She continued, “But you must remember that as a queen, your duties will come before all else.”
“I hope to rise to your expectations, my Queen.”
“Promise me your unconditional loyalty,” she demanded in a penetrating voice.
“I do,” I replied, unaware of the extent of my commitment.
“I am sure that you will honor your word.”
I could hardly think for joy and gratitude. But the moment I bid the queen farewell and left her chamber, I felt as though my hands were bound in shackles bearing her royal signet. She was a power I could never disregard. I remembered the crown prince and knew that the greatness of his soul would not make him any more appealing as a husband. I realized that I would pay a very high price for glory.
The news was like a thunderbolt to my family. I realize, of course, that Mutnedjmet must have been very bitter, and that Tey probably shared some of that. But still it was joyful news for everyone in the family. My fortune had lifted me to the throne of Egypt, but it had also elevated them to the rank of royalty. Because of that, they showered me with kisses and good wishes. I recalled the prophecy of the old man, and shuddered as I realized that it had in part come true. I wondered if Mutnedjmet, too, would sit on the throne of Egypt. Perhaps she also remembered the prophecy and found some solace in it. “Today, your mother will rest peacefully in her tomb,” my father said when we were alone in his room.
“I hope so,” I said sadly.
“You do not seem happy, my daughter,” he said with a smile and a keen look.
“Reality is more frightening than imagination,” I said earnestly.
“Fate could not grant you a better chance for happiness.”
