Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret

The knocking came from the front door. Nancy was away for the weekend so it couldn't be her. And we really didn't know anybody else.

'Who is it?' I asked, pressing my ear to the door.

'It's Grandma, Margaret. Open up.'

I unlatched the chain and both locks and flung open the door. 'Grandma! I can't believe it. You're really here!'

'Surprise!' Grandma called.

I put a finger over my lips to let her know my parents were still asleep.

Grandma was loaded down with Bloomingdale's shopping bags. But when she stepped into the house she lined them up on the floor and gave me a big hug and kiss.

'My Margaret!' she said, flashing her special smile. When she smiles like that she shows all her top teeth. They aren't her real teeth. It's what Grandma calls a bridge. She can take out a whole section of four top teeth when she wants to. She used to entertain me by doing that when I was little. Naturally I never told my parents. When she smiles without her teeth in place she looks like a witch. But with them in her mouth she's very pretty.

'Come on, Margaret. Let's get these bags into the kitchen.'

I picked up one shopping bag. 'Grandma, this is so heavy! What's in it?'

'Hotdogs, potato salad, cole slaw, corned beef, rye bread… '

I laughed. 'You mean it's food?'

'Of course it's food.'

'But they have food in New Jersey, Grandma.'

'Not this kind.'

'Oh yes,' I said. 'Even delicatessen.'

'No place has delicatessen like New York!'

I didn't argue about that. Grandma has certain ideas of her own.

When we got all the bags into the kitchen Grandma scrubbed her hands at the sink and put everything into the refrigerator.

When she was done I asked, 'How did you get here?'

Grandma smiled again but didn't say anything. She was measuring coffee into the pot. You can't make her talk about something until she's ready.

Finally she sat down at the kitchen table, fluffed out her hair and said, 'I came in a taxi.'

'All the way from New York?'

'No,' Grandma said. 'From the center of Farbrook.'

'But how did you get to the center of Farbrook?'

'On a train.'

'Oh, Grandma-you didn't!'

'Yes, I did.'

'But you always said trains are so dirty!'

'So what's a little dirt? I'm washable!'

We both laughed while Grandma changed her shoes. She brought a spare pair along with her knitting in one of the shopping bags.

'Now,' she said, 'take me on a tour of the house.'

I led her everywhere except upstairs. I pointed out closets, the downstairs bathroom, my mother's new washer and dryer, and where we sat to watch TV.

When I was finished Grandma shook her head and said, 'I just don't understand why they had to move to the country.'

'It's not really country, Grandma,' I explained. 'There aren't any cows around.'

'To me it's country!' Grandma said.

I heard the water running upstairs. 'I think they're up. Should I go see?'

'You mean should you go tell!'

'Well, should I?'

'Of course,' Grandma said.

I ran up the stairs and into my parents' bedroom. My father was putting on his socks. My mother was brushing her teeth in their bathroom.

'Guess who's here?' I said to my father.

He didn't say anything. He yawned.

'Well, aren't you going to guess?'

'Guess what?' he asked.

'Guess who's here in this very house at this very minute?'

'Nobody but us, I hope,' my father said.

'Wrong!' I danced around the bedroom.

'Margaret,' my father said in his disgusted-with-me voice. 'What is it you're trying to say?'

'Grandma's here!'

'That's impossible,' my father told me.

'I mean it, Daddy. She's right downstairs in the kitchen making your coffee.'

'Barbara… ' My father went into the bathroom and turned off the water. I followed him. My mother had a mouthful of toothpaste.

'I'm not done, Herb,' she said, turning on the water again.

My father shut it off. 'Guess who's here?' he asked her.

'What do you mean who's here?' my mother said.

'Sylvia! That's who's here!' My father turned the water back on so my mother could finish brushing her teeth.

But my mother turned it off and followed my father into the bedroom. I followed too. This was fun! I guess by then my mother must have swallowed her toothpaste.

'What do you mean, Sylvia?' my mother asked my father.

'I mean my mother!' my father said.

My mother laughed. 'That's impossible, Herb. How would she even get here?'

My father pointed at me. 'Ask Margaret. She seems to know everything.'

'In a taxi,' I said.

They didn't say anything.

'And a train,' I said.

Still nothing.

'It wasn't so dirty after all.'

Ten minutes later my mother and father joined Grandma in the kitchen where the table was set and the breakfast all ready. It's hard to get mad at Grandma, especially when she flashes her super smile. So my mother and father didn't say anything except what a wonderful surprise! And how clever of Grandma to take a train and a taxi to our new house when she'd never been to Farbrook before.

After breakfast I went upstairs to get dressed. Grandma came up with me to see my room.

'It's a lot bigger than my old one,' I said.

'Yes, it's bigger,' Grandma agreed. 'You could use new bedspreads and curtains. I saw some the other day- pink and red plaid. Then we could get red carpeting to match and a-' Grandma sighed. 'But I guess your mother wants to fix it up herself.'

'I guess so,' I said.

Grandma sat down on my bed. 'Margaret darling,' she said, 'I want to make sure you understand that we'll still be as close as always.'

'Of course we will,' I said.

'A few miles doesn't mean a thing,' Grandma said. 'Just because I can't drop in after school doesn't mean I won't think of you every day.'

'I know that, Grandma.'