Mulch covered his ears. ‘Next time, I’ll take Howler’s Peak.’
‘Quiet, convict,’ growled Root. ‘This was all your idea.’
Their arguing was interrupted by a tremendous grating, sending sparks dancing across the windscreen.
‘Sorry,’ apologized Captain Short. ‘There goes our communications array.’
She flipped the craft sideways, scraping between two shifting plates.
The magma’s heat coated the rock face, dragging the plates together. A jagged edge clipped the shuttle’s rear as the plates crashed behind them. A giant’s handclap. Butler held his Sig Sauer. It was a comfort thing.
Then they were through, spiralling into a cavern towards three enormous titanium rods.
‘There,’ gasped Mulch. ‘The foundation rods.’
Holly rolled her eyes. ‘You don’t say,’ she groaned, firing the docking clamps.
Mulch had drawn another diagram. This one looked like a bendy snake.
‘We’re being led by an idiot with a crayon,’ said Root, with deceptive calmness.
‘I got you this far, didn’t I, Julius?’ said Mulch, pouting.
Holly was finishing the last bottle of mineral water. A good third of it went over her head.
‘Don’t you dare start sulking, dwarf,’ she said. ‘As far as I can see, we’re stuck in the centre of the Earth, with no way out and no communications.’
Mulch backed up a step. ‘I can see you’re a bit tense after the flight. Let’s all calm down now, shall we?’
Nobody looked very calm. Even Artemis seemed slightly shaken by the ordeal. Butler still hadn’t let go of the Sig Sauer.
‘That’s the hard bit over. We’re in the foundations now. The only way is up.’
‘Oh really, convict?’ said Root. ‘And how do you suggest we go up exactly?’
Mulch plucked a carrot from the cooler, waving it at his diagram. ‘This here is. .’
‘A snake?’
‘No, Julius. It’s one of the foundation rods.’
‘The solid titanium foundation rods, sunk in impregnable bedrock?’
‘The very ones. Except one isn’t exactly solid.’
Artemis nodded. ‘I thought so. You cut corners on this work, didn’t you, Mulch?’
Mulch was unrepentant. ‘You know what building regulations are like.
Solid titanium pillars? Do you have any idea how expensive that is? Threw our estimate right off. So me ‘n’ cousin Nord decided to forget the titanium packing.’
‘But you had to fill that column with something,’ interrupted the commander. ‘Koboi would have run scans.’
Mulch nodded guiltily.
‘We hooked up the sewage pipes to it for a couple of days. The sonographs came up clean.’
Holly felt her throat clench. ‘Sewage. You mean. .'
‘No. Not any more. That was a hundred years ago, it’s just clay now. Very good clay as it happens.’
Root’s face could have boiled a large cauldron of water.
‘You expect us to climb through twenty metres of. . manure?’
The dwarf shrugged. ‘Hey, do I care? Stay here forever if you want, I’m going up the pipe.’
Artemis did not like this sudden turn of events. Running, jumping, injury.
OK. But sewage? ‘This is your plan?’ he managed to mutter.
‘What’s the matter, Mud Boy,’ smirked Mulch. ‘Afraid of getting your hands dirty?’
It was only a figure of speech, Artemis knew. But true nevertheless. He glanced at his slender fingers. Yesterday morning they were pianist’s fingers with manicured nails. Today they could have belonged to a builder.
Holly clapped Artemis on the shoulder. ‘OK,’ she declared. ‘Let’s do it.
As soon as we save the Lower Elements, we can get back to rescuing your father.’
Holly noticed a change in Artemis’s face. Almost as if his features weren’t sure how to arrange themselves. She paused, realizing what she had said. For her, the remark had been a casual encouragement, the kind of thing an officer said every day. But it seemed as though Artemis was not accustomed to being a member of a team.
‘Don’t think I’m getting chummy or anything. It’s just that when I give my word, I stick to it.’
Artemis decided not to respond. He’d already been punched once today.
They descended from the shuttle on a folding stairway.
Artemis stepped on to the surface, picking his way through the jagged stones and construction debris abandoned by Mulch and his cousin a century earlier. The cavern was lit by the star-like twinkle of rock phosphorescence.
‘This place is a geological marvel,’ he exclaimed. ‘The pressure at this depth should be crushing us, but it isn’t.’ He knelt to examine a fungus sprouting from a rusting paint tin. ‘There’s even life.’
Mulch wrenched the remains of a hammer from between two rocks.
‘So that’s where this got to. We overdid it a bit on the explosives,
blasting the shaft for these columns. Some of our waste must have. . fallen down here.’
Holly was appalled. Pollution is an abomination to the People.
‘You’ve broken so many laws here, Mulch, I don’t even have the fingers to count them. When you get that two-day head start, you better move fast, because I’m going to be the one chasing you.’
‘Here we are,’ said Mulch, ignoring the threat. When you’d heard as many as he had, they just rolled right off.
There was a hole bored into one of the columns. Mulch rubbed the edges fondly.
‘Diamond laser cutter. Little nuclear battery.That baby could cut through anything.’
‘I remember that cutter too,’ said Root. ‘You nearly decapitated me with it once.’
Mulch sighed. ‘Happy days, eh, Julius?’
Root’s reply was a swift kick in the behind. ‘Less talk, more eating dirt, convict.’
Holly placed her hand into the hole. ‘Air currents. The pressure field from the city must have equalized this cave over the years. That’s why we’re not flat as manta rays right now.’
‘I see,’ said Butler and Root simultaneously. Another lie for the list.
Mulch undid his bum-flap.
‘I’ll tunnel up to the top and wait for you there. Clear as much of the debris as you can. I’ll spread the recycled mud around, to avoid closing up the shaft.’
Artemis groaned. The idea of crawling through Mulch’s recyclings was almost intolerable. Only the thought of his father kept him going.
Mulch stepped into the shaft. ‘Stand back,’ he warned, unhinging his jaw.
Butler moved quickly — he was not about to get nailed by dwarf gas again.
Mulch disappeared up to his waist in the titanium column. In moments he had disappeared entirely. The pipe began to shudder with strange, unappetizing sounds. Chunks of clay clattered against the metal walls. A constant stream of condensed air and debris spiralled from the hole.
‘Amazing,’ breathed Artemis. ‘What I could do with ten like him. Fort Knox would be a pushover.’
‘Don’t even think about it,’ warned Root. He turned to Butler. ‘What have we got?’
The manservant drew his pistol. ‘One Sig Sauer handgun with twelve rounds in the magazine. That’s it. I’ll take the gun, as I’m the only one who can lift it. You two pick up whatever you can on the run.’
‘And what about me?’ asked Artemis, even though he knew what was coming.
Butler looked his master straight in the eye. ‘I want you to stay here. This is a military operation. All you can do is get yourself killed.’
‘But. .’
‘My job is to protect you, Artemis, and this is quite possibly the safest spot on the planet.’
Artemis didn’t argue. In truth, these facts had already occurred to him.
Sometimes being a genius was a burden.
