The Family

her when she was young, how pretty she was, how clever. To me and Timmy it's like they're talking about someone who died, because we don't remember her like that at all. See, me and Timmy, we only remember her drunk or stoned, or both. Trying to kiss and cuddle us, and all we could smell was stale breath, and vomit. That was how bad it was at times.'

Chapter One Hundred and Forty-One

Timmy watched his mother as she listened at the doorway to Philly and Finoula chatting unawares. She had her hand at her throat, and her eyes screwed shut. He wondered if she realised just how much she had neglected him and Philly over the years so she could drink.

She had wandered inside while he had parked the car and called his father to see where he was. Seeing the devastation on his mother's face at what she had heard made him feel bad now, because no one should hear that about themselves, not even her.

Phillip came in just as she was opening a bottle of white wine in the kitchen and, as he opened his mouth to protest, she put the bottle down on the side and, running to him, she threw herself into his arms. As he held her close, she kept repeating over and over again, 'What have I done?'

Chapter One Hundred and Forty-Two

'You have what is called a gastric ulcer, Mrs Murphy, and once we get you on the medication the pain should subside greatly. You just have to take better care of yourself. Other than that, you are as well as a woman of your advanced years could expect.'

Veronica didn't like this doctor, he was an arsehole of the first water, talking to her as if she was a newspaper or something. She didn't care how much he charged, he needed to be taken down a peg. 'Is that so, Doctor? Well, let me enlighten you now. My son has paid a fecking fortune for your opinion, and my advice to you is next time you have a woman of my advanced years in your office, remember to talk to her as if she was a grown-up and not a shagging errant teenager. Because, for all your grand education, you could do with a few lessons in good manners and social interaction.'

The last bit was something Finoula had said about Gordon Brown, and Veronica felt it was a good put-down; she only hoped she had used it in the correct context.

Christine and Breda didn't laugh until they were out of the consulting room, then the two of them started to roar.

'Fucking hell, Mum, what brought that on?'

Veronica was still annoyed, but she could see the humour of the situation. 'Who the shag do these people think they are?

Talking to me as if I'm a fool. And with that eejit Phillip paying him good money. I might not be in the first flush of youth, but I'm not in me fecking dotage yet.'

Christine took Veronica's arm. 'Come on, let's get to mine. I've put a casserole in the simmering oven and it'll be ready when we get there.'

Secretly Veronica was over the moon. She had thought as they all had that it was going to be bad news, but it wasn't. God had seen fit to give her a few more years, as she had requested, and she felt as though a great weight had been lifted from her. The anxiety had been keeping her up at night. An ulcer of all things! Who would have thought it? A little voice inside was telling her it wasn't even caused by worry – it was guilt. But she ignored it, just as she had been ignoring that voice for years as well.

Chapter One Hundred and Forty-Three

'This is beautiful, Christine. Would you teach me to cook?'

Christine smiled at the wonderful girl her son had somehow managed to bag. She was lovely, really lovely, and not just in looks. She was a kind girl and so thoughtful.

'Course I will, Finny! Anything you particularly want to know how to cook? If you start with things you like it's easier. Then as time passes you go on to more complicated things.'

'Like life?'

They both laughed.

'Yeah, I suppose that's a good comparison. But you and Philly seem so happy, love, I don't think you have anything to worry about there.'

Finoula grinned, her perfect, overly white teeth looked incongruous in the early morning light that flooded the kitchen. She was like a photograph, not a real person, but Christine knew that was how girls were now. They were fighting off ageing before their twenty-fifth birthdays, and everything was about how they looked, not how they felt inside. Maybe they had the right idea. It was the whole Cheryl Cole concept and look how successful she had been! If girls nowadays had an original thought it would die in their heads of loneliness – all they cared about was being pretty. Christine knew she was being harsh, because this girl here had more than a good brain, she had the street smarts to go with it.

'I do love Philly, Christine, he's my world.'

Christine knew Finoula spoke the truth and, having been in the same position once, she couldn't help but be frightened for her. Grabbing her hand tightly, she said seriously, 'That's a good thing, my little love, but remember what I am telling you now. He'll always have his life and his job, but you'll end up at home with the kids, and that can be the most rewarding job on the planet, but also the loneliest. Always keep something for yourself – get a good nanny, au pair, whatever, and make a life for yourself outside your front door, outside your marriage. Don't be dependent on any man – eventually they resent you for it. Keep your friends, even the ones he doesn't like, and make sure you see them regularly. Don't become just a wife – it's never enough for most men.'

Finoula was a bit shocked at what her future mother-in-law had just said, but she understood she was trying to help her, and she was also perceptive enough to see that she was telling her the truth. Finoula grinned at her conspiratorially. 'Don't worry, Christine, I've already decided to keep my hand in with the bookies. I think if I was at home all day I would go off me nut!'

She realised what she had said, and just stopped herself from apologising. Christine, however, laughed at her choice of words. 'Well, take it from someone who's experienced exactly that – it's no fun, I can tell you!'

They laughed together companionably and, once more, Christine wished she had heard her sons talk about her years ago. If anything could have stopped her drinking and pill- popping, it would have been the words she had heard from her elder son the other night. Listening to her Philly telling this girl what he had really thought and how he had felt over the years had been the jolt she needed to finally clean up her act.

The real surprise had been how pleased she had felt to see

Phillip standing there. She had seen the sad look on his face, because he knew how much it would have hurt her; Timmy had obviously filled him in on the night's events. She was amazed at how eagerly she had run into his arms. He had seemed like her lifesaver at that moment, she had felt such relief at seeing him in the kitchen. She had to admit, no matter what had happened over the years between them, he would always be there for her, and she was aware that she had always relied on him for that. No matter how much she had hated him, she had still needed him.

Her life was set now and she would never get away – not unless one or the other of them died. But there was still hope for Finoula, and she wanted her to have her eyes wide open to the life she would be taking on when she married a Murphy The lying, the deceit, the knowledge that her husband could be taken from her at any time; either with a gun, as had been proved already, or by a court giving him twenty years. She wanted this girl to know