Dhalgren

'Group I came with did. A lot of good it did them. I mean how long would you wander around a city like this looking for a hotel? No, I had to let them go. They were happy to be rid of me.'

'They left?'

She looked at her sneaker and laughed, mock ominous.

'People leave here,' he said. 'The people who gave me the orchid, they were leaving when I came.'

'Some people leave.' She laughed again. It was a quiet and self-assured and intriguing and disturbing laugh.

He asked: 'What kind of adventures did you have?'

'I watched some scorpion fights. That was weird. Nightmare's trip isn't my bag, but this place is so small you can't be that selective. I spent a few days by myself in a lovely home in the Heights: which finally sent me up the wall. I like living outdoors. Then there was Calkins for a while.'

'The guy who publishes the newspaper?'

She nodded. 'I spent a few days at his place. Roger's set up this permanent country weekend, only inside city limits. He keeps some interesting people around.'

'Were you one of the interesting people?'

'I think Roger just considered me decorative, actually. To amuse the interesting ones. 'His loss.'

She was pretty in a sort of rough way — maybe closer to 'cute'.

He nodded.

'The brush with civilization did me good, though. Then I wandered out on my own again. Have you been to the monastery, out by Holland?'

'Huh?'

'I've never been there either but I've heard some very sincere people have set up a sort of religious retreat. I still can't figure out if they got started before this whole thing happened, or whether they moved in and took over afterward. But it still sounds impressive. At least what one hears.'

'John and Mildred are pretty sincere.'

'Touche!' She puffed a chord, then looked at him curiously, laughed, and hit at the high stems. He looked; and her eyes, waiting for him to speak, were greener than the haze allowed any leaf around.

'It's like a small town,' he said. 'Is there anything else to do but gossip?'

'Not really.' She hit the stems again. 'Which is a relief, if you look at it that way.'

'Where does Calkins live?'

'Oh, you like to gossip! I was scared for a moment.' She stopped knocking the stalks. 'His newspaper office is awful! He took some of us there, right to where they print it. Grey and gloomy and dismal and echoing.' She screwed up her face and her shoulders and her hands. 'Ahhhh! But his house—' Everything unscrewed. 'Just fine. Right above the Heights. Lots of grounds. You can see the whole city. I imagine it must have been quite a. sight when all the street lights were on at night.' A small screwing, now. 'I was trying to figure out whether he's always lived there, or if he just moved in and took it over too. But you don't ask questions like that.'

He turned and she followed.

'Where is his house?'

'I think the actual address is on Brisbain South.'

'How'd you get to meet him?'

'They were having a party. I was wandering by. Someone I knew invited me in. Phil, actually.'

'That sounds easy.'

'Ah, it was very difficult. You want to go up there and meet Calkins?'

'Well, everything looks pretty scroungy down around here. I could wander up and see if somebody would invite me in.' He paused. 'Of course, you're a girl. You'd have an easier time, wouldn't you? To be… decorative?'

She raised her eyebrows. 'Not necessarily.'

He glanced at her in time to catch her glancing back. The idea struck him as amusing.

'You see that path behind the soccer posts?'

'Yeah.'

'It exits right on to Brisbain North. Which turns into Brisbain South after a while.'

'Hey!' He grinned at her, then let his head fall to the side. 'What's the matter?'

'I'm sad you're going. I was all set for a dangerous, exciting afternoon, wandering about with you, playing my harmonica for you.'

'Why don't you come?'

Her look held both embarrassment and collusion. 'I've been.'

Hammering sounded behind them.

To his frown, she explained: 'One of John's work projects. They've gotten back from lunch. I know there's food left. The guy who does the most of their cooking, Jommy, is a friend of mine; do you want to eat?'

'Naw.' He shook his head. 'Besides, I haven't decided if I want—'

'Yes, you have. But I'll see you when you get back. Take this.' She held out the notebook. 'It'll give you something to read on the way.'

For a moment he let his face acknowledge that she wanted him to stay. 'Thanks… all right.'

'That's one nice thing about this place,' she answered the acknowledgement; 'when you come back, I will see you.' She raised her harmonica to her mouth. 'You can't lose anybody here.' In the metal, her eyes and nostrils were immense darknesses, set in silvered flesh, cut through, without lid or lash or limit, by green and green. She blew a discord, and walked away.

As he left the eyeless lions, it occurred to him: You can't make that discord on a harmonica.

Not on any harmonica he'd ever had.

2

He'd walked three blocks when he saw, in the middle of the fourth, the church.

Visible were two (of presumably four) clocks around the steeple. Nearing, he saw the hands were gone.

He scrubbed at his forehead with the back of his wrist. Grit rolled between skin and skin. All this soot…

The thought occurred: I'm in fine shape to get myself invited into a house party!

Organ music came from the church door. He remembered Lanya had said something about a monastery… Wondering if curiosity showed on his face, he stepped carefully — notebook firmly under his arm — into the tiled foyer.

Through a second door, in an office, two of the four spools on the aluminum face of an upright tape recorder revolved. There were no lights on.

It only really registered as he turned away (and, once registered, he had no idea what to do with the image): Thumb-tacked above the office bulletin-board was the central poster from Loufer's wall: the black man in cap, jacket, and boots.

Another door (leading to the chapel itself?) was ajar on darkness.

He stepped back to the sidewalk—

'Hey, there!'

The old man wore maroon bell bottoms, gold-rimmed spectacles; underneath a dull corduroy jacket, a bright red tanktop: beard, beret. He carried a bundle of newspapers under one arm. 'How you doing on this pearly afternoon?'

'Hello.'

'Now… I bet you're wondering what time it is.' The old man strained his ropy neck. 'Let me see.' He gazed at the steeple. 'Let me see. That would be about… eleven… twenty-five.' His head came down in wheezy laughter. 'How do you like that, hey? Pretty good trick, huh? (You want a paper? Take one!) It is a trick. I'll show you how to do it. What's the matter? Paper don't cost you. You want a subscription?'